“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
This seems straightforward teaching, however, what am I to do? When I was 20 I married a girl and did not inquire of the Lord to determine the rightness of the relationship. I said in my heart - God cannot plan each and every one of us to be with one specific person, We can but try our very best and the love born of that trying will make anything last… A foolish sentiment. And it was that after 3 years my wife tired of me and left me for better prospects. At the time I was a Youth Minister and resigned my position in disgrace, however, the elders in the church spoke to me and said we do not feel this situation means you cannot remarry as you strove to save a marriage in which your wife chose to leave.
And it took a long time to recover,
When I was 26 I met a woman in the music ministry. I myself was preparing for mission work and I felt we had again found the happiness I had always sought. I did inquire of the Lord but confessedly I was more interested in my desired future happiness than what He had to say. 3 years later she came to me and said she felt she had missed out on the wildness of her teens and twenties. She said she wished to have many partners and many fun experiences before really settling into a marriage. This grieved me greatly as we had married for 3 years! She too chose her way and left. At the time I was working in the Children’s ministry of a local church and I again resigned feeling disgraced. Again here too, the Elders spoke to me and advised that as I had strove with them to save my marriage and she in turn left without a willing heart to try, and no infidelity was found, that I consider myself free to marry again.
When I was 34 I met a divorced woman. Her husband had been unfaithful to her and continued the relationship choosing the other, over his wife. And for this reason she left him. She and I met and dated and ultimately decided to marry. I inquired of the Lord over her but did not get an exact answer. However, His spirit worked through her and her prayers in my life and together we worked in unison as I had always dreamed a relationship in the church could be. I considered that proof that the marriage was acceptable to God.
That was 5 years ago. We are still married and very happy and things are well. We strive to raise her children to know Christ and wish only to find His will and live that out.
But, now please tell me what am I to Do?
Luke 18 tells me that any man who divorces his wife is an Adulterer. I have divorced 2 wives. Though it may be said they left and refused to return and thus they divorced me and I at long last accepted. I mean that sounds better but the result is still the same.
My third wife also divorced her husband who desired to have an incestuous relationship be acceptable in his home against his wife. She then Divorced him.
Now, as I have married her, according to Luke 18 am I now 3 times over an adulterer? How shall I repent if the Lord sees me this way? I doubt that counsel and elder’s words will account for much before the judgment seat of God. How then can I proceed with God and strive towards heaven in this situation? What is it God expects from me according to His word?