Almost 30 and Single

(Sarah Stoddard) #21

@O_wretched_man Sorry for the delay in responding! I had no idea I’d get so many comments and suggestions and I hardly have time to keep up with it! Thank you for the suggestions. I am familiar with some, but not with others, so always good to have more options. I have quite the list now of books to read and lectures to watch. If only I wasn’t working and in school full time! :sweat_smile:

You mentioned your younger sister and my heart goes out to her. We live in such a tough society for young girls, with many pressures placed on us, whether intentional or unintentional. I’m happy she has an older brother like yourself to look up to. I also have 2 older brothers (no sisters), and I can certainly say that they have been my rock and have restored my hope that all men aren’t completely awful and that there are indeed wonderful Godly men out there. They are total opposites and had completely different approaches. One is an excellent listener and never judged me. I’d go to him when I didn’t want a lecture. The other seemed to have all the answers. I’d go to him when I had questions. I hope you continue to look out for your little sister and be there for her. Older brothers are blessings! :blush:

(Sarah Stoddard) #22

@balance1124 If I could send a virtual hug, I would. Thank you for those notes and thoughts you shared. Amazing stuff and exactly the kinds of things I need to hear and my friend, as well. I have dealt with some severely troubled men in my past, thankfully never married to one though. But just like you my best friend married a clinically diagnosable narcissist. I have never met a more manipulative man in my life. I was with her every step of the way through the start and finish of that relationship, so although I wasn’t in it, I lived vicariously through my friend. He tried to separate us and remove me from her life constantly. He knew I was the biggest threat to their relationship, having told her not to marry him in the first place. However, I’m so proud of her now. She has turned away from him and is sprinting head first toward God now. I will definitely share these things with her.

One question you ask yourself really hit me deep because I have been asking myself that question for quite a while now: what about me makes me a magnet to dysfunctional and manipulative people? My best friend and I have had that very discussion, trying to assess what those might be. Is it the way we dress? Are we too friendly or flirtatious? Is it where we hang out? Honestly, we are having a hard time answering that question. Have you been able to discover things about yourself to answer that question? Would you be open to sharing them with me?

(Sarah Stoddard) #23

@Brittany_Bowman1 I’m happy to hear that I can be somewhat of an encouragement. I love for the small victories, as I hardly ever get to witness much spiritual change in my lines of work. A lot of people are truly set in their ways. But I have to imagine that every little bit counts and there is purpose and meaning it in all. Thank you for encouraging me, as well! I will look into those resources and that is an excellent response and lead in to talking about spiritual things. I’ll have to work on that!

(Rebekah DeWitt) #24

Very encouraging to read your story. My desire has never left me to have a husband and home. I never wanted a career and now as an adult trying to find a “career” is so hard because my truest, deepest desire is to be a wife and mother. I have found in the church I grew up in as well as those I have attended since (after I left the church I grew up in) have no place for single ladies to be included and supported (I do not mean financial support). This has been a trial. I am seeking a church where there is healthy atmosphere and a place to belong and be included, one where the Word of God is preached. As to singleness, I hope that is not what God has for me. I have never understood why He made me to have a desire so deeply but then withholds the fulfilment.
I am thankful to have been led to this group. I truly appreciate the openness and honesty that some here display.
I am happy for you and your wife!!!

(Gabrielle Greene Fennessee) #25

I just recently learned that authentic godly women are a magnet for worldly men because they desire a good woman that is naive, loyal, and would fall in love for a man’s potential instead of recognizing the really flawed sinner! They desire a moral woman who will be faithful and give their heart and best to them and they think you will be satisfied with a diet of crumbs. My go to example in the Bible is Abagail and her husband.

(Gabrielle Greene Fennessee) #26

I understand how you feel Rebekah. Don’t give up hope! I had to find a new church home too and am working on myself to receive God’s promise to be a wife and have more children. I believe as long as we have the desire God will meet the need because if I was to become a Eunuch then God will tell me.

(Rebekah DeWitt) #27

Thank you for your encouragement. Your words came at the right time.