How does one process their anger and bitterness towards God? What steps can one take?
(Please, do not provide trite, cliche “Christianese” answers, if you would be so kind.) This is a very serious, and personal question.
Thank you in advance for your help!
How does one process their anger and bitterness towards God? What steps can one take?
Good morning Kenda, just a couple of things I liked about your home page.Your user name KenStar lends to the question is he a fan of yours? What I mean is finding the truth no matter what, more important than anything else. He was a lead prosecutor, back in the nineties, if this is so, then the truth, shared with love, gentleness and care is what RZIM connect is all about. it is a founding principle.
Secondly the VP&C Partnership you work with seems very innovative and motivated to look outside the box for marketing ideas? I pray the current Pandemic climate has not hurt thier venue.
About anger and how to deal with overcome that controlling aspect of our life. I once shared with my friend Sanah here on connect that I used to be like the Hulk and she wouldn’t like me when I was angry. I smashed people, relationships, family, friends, jobs you name it I smashed it. One unexpected day I had a Damascus road experience with perfect love and I broke and wept my way to the cross of Jesus. There is no magical Christian fix, steps for anything created by man just a realization of who God really is as outlined in His immutable word which we here at connect and I found out is the TRUTH and it truly does set free. Dont just take me at my word. Just one click and search in the search icon will lead to many threads full of life and hope through Jesus. Prayers and love as you glean and grow. Be safe, and wise my friend during these difficult times.
First, let me say that I can identify with this question about anger towards God. I was a very angry person for many years and I had been “stuffing” that anger (amongst other emotions) deep down until it started manifesting as physical ailments like hives. Once I began acknowledging that anger, in the context of sound Christ-centred counselling, and working through it, I came to realize that I was angry with God. This terrified me and at the same time made me feel as though I was caught between a rock and a hard place. If I was angry with God, where could I go for comfort? Surely He would not want to deal with me if I was angry with Him. Oh how wrong I was.
I had always harboured a very warped view of who God is (as I imagine many of us do before we start to really get to know Him). My upbringing led me to understand very little about the severity of Christ’s sacrifice, therefore I understood nothing about the true meaning of His grace and mercy.
One night as I lay in the dark, I felt God telling me that it was ok. I could acknowledge my anger towards Him. He knew about it anyway - and IT. WAS. OK. This was particularly troublesome to me because that next day I would be playing in our church’s worship band at our Christmas Eve service. How was I supposed to lead worship when my heart was full of anger towards God? But knowing that it was alright with God for me to be feeling that way made all the difference.
I don’t know exactly where you are at in your journey, but I do know from personal experience the crippling nature of anger. I am so sorry that you are having to bear this burden. Do you have a trusted community or even one safe person who can walk through this season with you?
I will be praying for you Kenda that you will experience His peace through this difficult time and that He will help you to heal from the pain that brought you to this place.
May God bless you richly, Kenda.
I am praying I just saw notice by Cuomo that NY told to stay home. Please let me, us know you are well.
Hi @KenStarr. First I want to say how much I appreciate your candor. This is a serious problem for many and does need to be addressed. I want to tread carefully with respect to your situation which I am unaware of. I want you to know I have lifted you up in prayer, trusting the Lord to provide you with what is needed to navigate through this serious wrestling with Him. Talking with someone who will reserve judgement and listen to you is vital. I found a couple of threads here in connect that may be helpful.
It does help to know we are not alone in our struggles. I can certainly relate to anger issues but every situation is unique.
I along with others will continue to lift you up in prayer. I am so sorry for your pain, whatever it may be. I truly am. Please keep us posted and reach out anytime
@KenStarr Praying that the Lord would walk with you as you process your frustration and anger The thing that has helped me most is running to God and the Word instead of away when I am angry at God. It seems paradoxical, but the Gospels and prayer and worship have such healing power even in the midst of our frustration.
I really like Yancey—especially if I am frustrated with God. He is so honest and yet has a way of bringing you back to God’s grace and love that exist in the midst of this broken world.
Everyone, thank you for your prayers and insight. Thank you, also, for kindly sharing your personal experiences. It meant a lot to me. Finally, thank you for sharing these references. I will look into them.
I am unsure how I will make it through this. If you remember, please keep me in your prayers.
Thank you, Mike. We are trying to shop and stock up on what we can. The mandate will take place on Sunday. Thank you for your concern. I appreciate it.
Hello Mike. Thank you for your comments about my home page. “KenStarr” is more in line with the old comic strip Brenda Starr.
Thank you so much also, for sharing your story, and insight. I sincerely appreciate it. I will certainly reflect on what you’ve said. Thank you for praying for me.
Thank you, Tara. Thank you for being vulnerable, and transparent. Your testimony hit close enough to some of my experiences.
I also have the same dilemma about being angry and bitter, with The One to Whom I should be turning to for answers, help, and comfort. That’s a rock and a hard place, for me. I don’t know how it could be considered “ok” to be angry with God, and my bitterness and anger runs deep. Many Christians have made me feel that I should swallow my tongue, in a sense, before being angry towards God. I feel silenced.
I am working with a Christian counselor, however, due to my schedule, our sessions don’t happen frequently enough.
Thank you for sharing your story. I don’t know what will happen as I explore this uncharted territory, so thank you for your prayers.
Thank you, Sean. I really appreciate the resources/links you have sent. Thank you for praying for me as well. I appreciate your insight very much.
Thank you so much, Sig. your prayers, and the threads you’ve included. They were very helpful. And thank you for leaving “the door open” in a sense, for me to reach out again.
Thank you Kenda, for helping me to understand your name. Will continue to pray that Jesus will keep and protect you and yours during this trying time. Would like to share a link with you I find very peaceful, and uplifting.
He is in New York not sure a native though. Pray it ministers to you. God bless.
Yes, please do! I have been thinking and praying for you throughout the day. I will continue to do so
I’ll share my story- maybe there’s something in it that will help. God is merciful, and He wants us to communicate with Him- especially how we are feeling. What others have said should be helpful, especially in understanding that God wants you to be “real” with Him- He already knows what you are feeling, so go ahead tell Him!
It took many years of anger and bitterness toward God before He mercifully led me out into the Light. Looking back, and talking with others who have travelled a similar road, I have come to this: the primary issue is our view of God. We have our own expectations of God. Then there’s how God really is. Disappointment, anger, bitterness reside in the gap between our expectations and the reality of God. While I was in college, I injured my knee quite severely. I had an expectation (based on what I was taught at church) that if prayed for by the elders, I would be healed. Right then. But I wasn’t. “Helpful” friends would point to scriptures about promised healing, and that I just needed more “faith”. That’s when that seed of anger got planted. I was attempting to impose my will upon God, and when He didn’t meet my expectations, I drew wrong conclusions. The anger was reinforced by multiple surgeries and orthopedic issues. I went through various stages: feeling God was mad at me for something I did; having more of a “deist” view (that there was a Creator, but he was not involved any more, and certainly not with me); all the while insisting that I was right and God was not fair.
Fast forward a couple decades (yeah, I was that hard-headed), and some events in my life finally brought me to “the end of myself”. I finally accepted that my understanding of Scripture was incorrect, and that I did NOT know better than God how to order things in my life. It’s like the analogy of the jigsaw puzzle- I thought I had all the pieces and the box top to know how it was supposed to look, when in actuality, I had two or three pieces. Only God had the whole picture and all the pieces. When I finally humbled myself and admitted that I couldn’t even put one foot in front of the other and get it right, and I needed Him, it was like a voice whispered in my ear, “NOW, I can help you! You just needed to trust Me.”
Over the next few years, God has opened my eyes to see that He was protecting me, keeping me from killing myself through my destructive behavior phase, and guiding me even though I didn’t see or acknowledge it.
The anger is gone. I have a much better understanding of God, and the plan He is working out. My expectations are more in line with the will of God, because I am praying “not my will, but yours, Abba Father.” I certainly don’t know it all (I still have just a few of the puzzle pieces), but I rest in the truth that my Savior will guide my steps if I will just ask. I have an appreciation for Abraham, who BELIEVED God- that if God said it, it would happen. Might have to wait a while (on a human time scale), but it would happen.
Any way, that’s my story. I pray that God will guide you into all truth as you seek Him.
Thank you, Timothy. I appreciate that you have shared your story, and your transparency, very much.
@KenStarr My heart goes out to you. I hope that I am not piling on by sharing my personal experience with anger against God and what I learned from it.
I am not the man that I was a decade ago. A decade ago I was really struggling with my marriage and at times my anger controlled me and I knew it and hated it. I loved my wife; I just could not stop being angry. One night, in desperation, I walked out onto the street and just shouted at the top of my lungs, “God, why are you doing this to me?! Please, help me!” The long healing process started there. Now I communicate with my wife much better even though I am busier than ever. We have a child that we both love and who loves us. I walk closer to God than I ever have before.
I learned that it is okay to shout at God. He is really, really big and strong. He can handle it! Jesus cried out on the cross, “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me!” and that comes from one of many Psalms in which the writers cry out to God with great anguish. Job cried out to God in anger and although God shamed him a bit with some challenging questions, He still rewarded Job for his faithfulness. We are not any different from any of these people.
May God comfort and heal you.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience. It was not piling at all, but very helpful. I am not used to being “ok” with being angry at God, especially when I see that it is very deep seated anger. I have lived so long, disconnected from the very emotion, that, to find it now is startling to me. As of late, I often don’t have words to say to God. During Lent, I usually press in to seeking Him. This time, is very different.
I appreciate your encouragement and gracious words. Please keep me in your prayers…