Apologetics and leaving the faith for sin

Hi everyone,

Most of my siblings and many of my friends have left the church and turned their backs on God because of wanting to have sex outside of marriage.

How do I reach out to them? Can apologetics play a role when they left the faith not for scientific reasons or the problem of evil, etc but just because they wanted to live life their own way.



Hi Hayley,

As I read your post, the thought that came into my head was, “You have an incredible weapon.” The weapon of prayer.

I have a family member that left home 2 years ago and couldn’t leave home fast enough. During this time we continued to pray and leave it with God. I cannot begin to tell you the things that happened and the changes we have seen that can only, only, be attributed to the work of God in answers to our prayers. Sometimes we look at each other and marvel at what has happened and is happening even now. These changes came about in our absence and without any “help” from us, whatsoever. It has been a long road, to be sure, but completely worth it.

You have the same weapon, and more importantly, the same God, who stands at the right hand of the needy one. Psalm 109.31 The One who is able to do infinitely more than all we ask or think. Ephesians 3.20

Praying for those you care about and lovingly modeling the kindness, grace and forgiveness of God towards them is a powerful weapon that no man or Beast can stand against.

Grace and peace,
Mary Beth


Hi Hayley,

I’m sorry to hear about your friends and siblings leaving the church for personal pleasures. I think some helpful/important ideas that might help your issue to consider are these:

  1. It sounds like they didn’t know the real Christ or their reasons for leaving go deeper than leaving God for sex. It is possible to grow up in church but not in Christ.
  2. Apologetics deal with defending the faith *when people ask. So, if they left intentionally and aren’t interested in truth, then unfortunately apologetics probably won’t bring them back to faith. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict.
  3. As Mary Beth mentioned, you have prayer! I would suggest you pray, but that you also remain in their lives and have good news to live out and share should the opportunity arise for you to share with them. Our timing is not God’s timing. You might be praying for them and loving them for 20 years before they repent or seek out your wisdom. Our job is to love them :slight_smile:

Hope these ideas help you out some!

  • John

I do continue to pray for them, stay connected to them and I agree that being in church does not make anyone a Christian but I do wonder how I can help them to truly see what it does means to follow Jesus.

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This is an awesome question and we are well served to ask ourselves the same thing with those that God has put in our path.

How do you know that the thing you are doing now, daily, is not the very thing that is showing them what it truly looks like to follow Jesus? :slight_smile:

Grace and peace to you,
Mary Beth

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Hello, @MamaBear! I am so sorry to hear about your siblings walking away. That is truly heartbreaking, and I join you in prayer for them.

I like @MaryBeth1’s question for refection above, but I also wonder if some questions to them could help open up your (and their own) understanding of where they are spiritually. That is, if it’s true that their walking away has to do with them just wanting to live life their own way, then maybe you could ask them more openly about what they believe. Ask them about their perspective on things, find out what their underlying objections are, and then just listen. These are just some questions off the top of my head that I would be curious to know…

  • What do they found so stifling about the no-sex-outside-of-marriage concept?
  • What does ‘Christianity’ mean to them?
  • What do they object to most about the church?
  • Is Christianity relevant at all in their opinion?
  • Have they found happiness by ‘breaking free’ of religious restraints?

I’m sure there are others you could think of. I just think that if you want to be able to speak into their lives, then one has to keep lines of dialogue open and do your best to understand them where they are now and meet them (and love them) there.

Of course, you may have already tried this…? Praying, sister. :pray: