Balance


(Jason samuels) #1

How does a Christian find a balance between apologetics, personally growing in the faith, knowing God more, theology, and fellowship? I have a hunch that these are all linked, but I need advice

Ps. let’s say this Christian would also like to find a spouse one day. Apologies, if this seems like a random question.


(Victoria White) #2

I think a schedule will help. I think to-do lists are good, but they can all to easily become something to just check off every-day. Plan things out. Make sure you set goals.

You can never have too much prayer, fellowship, growth in your spiritual journey, etc. All things spiritual are good things and if they help you in your walk with Jesus, then go bananas.

Pray to the Holy Spirit and He will reveal to you what you may or may not need to change.

As for the spouse thing, think about if you may want it too much. If you are making unbiblical decisions in order to find a husband/wife, then step back and ask for wisdom and counsel. It’s possible to want the right things but get them through wrong means.

Hope this helps at least a bit! :slight_smile:


(Lakshmi Mehta) #3

@GSama, Good question. It can be difficult to balance out our thirst for having questions answered and keeping a robust walk with the Lord on top of our busy lives. There seems to be no end to how much we can learn in apologetics, can be very time consuming and it can distract us from the Lord if we are not careful. We can be deceived into thinking we are seeking the Lord, while really only satisfying intellectual curiosity.

I have seen myself feel distant from the Lord even while attending bible studies regularly and reading christian literature. Only personal time in bible reading and prayer meets the inner spiritual hunger for wholeness. So prioritizing time to be renewed by the Holy Spirit through the Word is key. Many obstacles in reaching out to others are spiritual in nature and the Holy Spirit may remind us to pray about people/things. So these needs also can be covered in prayer.

I think fellowship locally may be second in priority. Part of giving a defense of the gospel is sharing the Lord’s work in our lives. The Samaritan woman, Paul, Peter…they all start by sharing about their lives first. We are also called to be not just hearers but doers of the Word, which can’t be done without a community. Then on sharing our lives, when questions come up, apologetics becomes useful.

Apologetics though very important, it is still only one aspect of evangelism. It removes intellectual obstacles to faith but it’s only the Holy Spirit who brings conviction. I think as long as time with God and people are not ignored, we can spend the available time in study of apologetics as needed. If the study of apologetics is so intensive so as to not leave any time for relationships, may be that’s a red flag :slight_smile:

I hope this helps a little. May the Lord guide you with wisdom as you try to juggle through all your responsibilities and find balance.


(Andrew Bulin) #4

I love the thoughtfulness of your question. It may be one of balance in your life now, but after being married for 15 years, the conversation of balance does not end. Once you’ve spent years concentrating on your own balance, along comes a special someone that seems to rearrange all of that! Paul was keen in encouraging those that have only God to please:

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 NASB
[32] But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; [33] but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, [34] and his interests are divided. …

One thing I’ve come to learn in balance with a spouse is that you can begin learning balance now to help you later. I would advise to do your best to learn to live at peace with believing the answers you have, while prayerfully allowing others to bring new perspectives that may adjust your thinking, while also living peacefully with some that will not ever seem to be on the same page. Give yourself and others time to be human.

I had the hardest time with what I perceived to be a strong sense of right and wrong. With my wife, sometimes I have to spend a long time waiting for her to come around to some things God may be dealing with in our lives. Sometimes I find out it was me who was not getting it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is as much as you want to serve the Lord, being attached to someone else will sometimes require sacrifice and mercy, both in giving and receiving (it’s interesting to practice receiving mercy!). Therefore, while you are single and only have the Lord to focus on, hone in on your understanding of the Bible not as a technical document to leverage, but as a narrative of real people’s lives. Learn good hermeneutics so that you can speak to someones heart from your heart, which should also reflect the heart of God.

This is what I wish I had focused on more when I started my journey into theology and apologetics. As for the spouse, I’d pray that God sends you the right partner to join your life, who will make you want to be a better person, and that you will see and appreciate them as God sees them. And then let them be however God has designed them. Sometimes I find my wife to be the perfect foil to my intellectual nonsense. :slight_smile:


(Jason samuels) #5

Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.


(Jason samuels) #6

Thanks for the reply


(Jason samuels) #7

Scheduling! I will try my best, thank you for the reply.