Can a Christian curse someone out if Jesus lives in them (the Christian)?


(Liam Bell) #1

Hey everyone! This is my first post. I love the site and really enjoy the convosations. I have a question. I know a guy (Christian) who just cursed out another man. He really laid into him. He was dropping “F” bombs and pretty much everything in the book. He (Christian) had good reason to be upset but nothing to justify his language. Ok, the “guy” I’m referring to is actually me.
I didn’t even think that I was capable of that kind of talk now that I’m a Christian. I felt extreme anger at this person. I havent felt that kind of anger since before I was saved.
My question is this have you or a Christian you know blown up like this at someone?
And if so, how are we able to do this while Jesus lives in us? Would anyone consider this a sign that my relationship with Jesus is in danger?


(SeanO) #2

@Will Thank you for your openness. I think the simplest way to think about it is that when we come to Christ and accept His sacrifice we become God’s children - we are part of His family and we have His Spirit. But we still mess up - we still sin. So what do we do with that sin and how does God respond? There are a few things to to keep in mind:

  • we confess that sin (I John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.)
  • we turn towards righteousness and seek to walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:16 - So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh) through worship of God for His love for us even though we are so unworthy
  • we remember that God loved us when we had nothing to give - we remember and take comfort in the Gospel (Romans 5:8 - But God proves His own love for us in this - while we were still sinners, He gave His Son for us)
  • we commit to fight against sin by the power of the Spirit with all of our heart, mind and strength - we are warriors of Christ committed to crucifying our flesh (Galatians 5:24 - Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.)
  • we ask some self-diagnostic questions - why did I curse this person out? What is a more constructive way I can handle my emotions? Understanding our own heart is important to the journey of overcoming sin.

I used to see kids out learning to skateboard. You know what is amazing - they never give up. No matter how many times they fall and no matter how many times they slam against the ground, they keep fighting to learn every new trick. And then, one day, they get it. Now, as Christians it is God’s Spirit that enables us, but I think we need that same attitude towards sin. Yes, we will fall, but we are going to pursue righteousness - we will get back up after we fall, confess our sin, run to the arms of the Father and fight the good fight.

Even the apostle Paul admits he is not perfect, but with all his might he will strive after Christ.

Philippians 3:12-14 - Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

The Lord Jesus bless you in the battle. Hope that was helpful.

“Yes, God loves us fully in Christ, but this does not mean we are incapable of doing things that are displeasing to God. We can get out of step with the Spirit. We can grieve him too. Even after we have been redeemed, our sin continues to be offensive to God. And this has an effect.”

“Some of us become Christians and just go on our merry way, never thinking of sin, while others fixate on our failings and suffer from despair. One person feels no conviction of sin; the other person feels no relief from sin. Neither of these habits should mark the Christian. The Christian should often feel conviction, confess, and be cleansed.”


(Liam Bell) #3

Sean, thank you so much. That was a blessing that I really needed.


(SeanO) #4

@Will Glad it was helpful! May the Lord Jesus grant you clean hands and a pure heart through the washing of the renewal of Christ’s sacrifice, give you rest in God’s great love for you and give you victory over sin through the power of the Holy Spirit.


(Paul Tanjung Tan) #5

I’d love to comment on your experience Liam Bell, because I had the same experience. I can only share mine and how I came out of that F mode and the thought pro ess that went on in my head. I used to have the blow ups at anyone not just that really anger me in an aggressive way, but also at silky things like drivers that are stupid in traffic.

After a while I really felt the devil took the best part of me away when I do that and that I submitted to its provocation and temptation. I hated the feeling of having lost to Satan. So I started to ask God for more wisdom patience and tolerance when facing frustrating issues. It worked and I kept on thinking that whatever happens I dont need to get upset at all because Gid is in control and God knows what is best for me anyway. So I dont need to waste my energy on some stupid person in the street or someone that is trying the hardest to provoke me and become like the devil. It takes a while but it will work with prayer. All the best in overcoming our weak flesh and blood.


(Jennifer Judson) #6

I think Sean gave an excellent response to your initial inquiry. It’s something many people struggle with. I’m a long way down the road from where I started with my struggle with anger (Praise the Father, Son and Spirit!), but I fell led to share this. Hope it might stimulate an idea of your own.

Back in High School at a Missionary Conference the Girls Bible Study had to learn an annoying tune to the verse from Psalm 19:14: May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.
(It was the tune that was annoying, not the verse–and we had to sing it early every morning that week.)

My Dad was a man with a terrible temper which led me to squash any anger I had, because I’d seen its ugliness. But anger has a way of bubbling up anyway and when it did I did not have the skills to process it. As I entered young adulthood and was experiencing life on my own I figured out how good it felt to curse. But I was a Christian, I knew it was wrong…and very ugly.

I tried counted to 10, but that didn’t work for me. Then I remembered that annoying ditty of Psalm 19:14. So whenever I felt I was going to explode with anger I recited the verse to myself as a prayer. I truly did want the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart to be acceptable to God. Reciting it (silently) gave me pause to consider what was really at stake and a reminder of whose I was. Also that I was an ambassador of Christ and I did not want to be fodder for non-Christians who love to point at sinning Christians and call them “hypocrite.” It works for me. I’ve also found it leads me to pray for those I am anger with. It’s hard to stay angry at someone you are praying for.

In the past few years the verse Matt 5:37 (Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil) has been on my heart in how I express myself–even when I’m not angry but just expressing an answer or opinion. It seems in our current cultural discourse we can hardly tweet or reply without adding extreme and often cruel adjectives and expletives (I’m even finding this in news content).

The book of James has also taught me a lot about “the tongue.” Very convicting. Very helpful. A good study for persons who desire to use and give words full of grace.

I will bring up one more thing. The fact that your behavior caused you to question yourself shows the convicting work of the Holy Spirit in you. God is with you and in you. Let that be a blessing and a motivation to seek His ways.


(Elizabeth Goodspeed) #7

Liam! Welcome to life!!! It is so hard, isn’t it??? Thank you for your bluntness in telling your story. What a passionate person you are. Don’t we all get that way? Especially with subjects that are close to our hearts and when they are violated, we yell out in our frustration. I know for me, I do the same. I believe John the Baptist called the Pharisees “a brood of vipers” (Matt 3:7) In Matt 23 Jesus denounces the Scribes and Pharisees and he is NOT kind. Liam, God doesn’t want lukewarm hearts. He desires passionate men and women to fulfill the great commission. With PRACTICE, you will be able to change your language and be more skillful in communicating without peppering your language. Above all, pray for this person who angered you. Sometimes, that is a really tough assignment. But when you begin to pray for those who violate you, or anger you, you begin to find kinder words when you encounter them again. Sometimes God shows you their side of the situation and you can begin to have an understanding of where their heart or mind is to help with future conversations and encounters. Never curse yourself for being passionate. It is a great asset that God can use for His good.
I pray for many blessings for you.
Elizabeth


(Liam Bell) #8

Yes! The traffic. Me too! I live in Seattle and it’s the worse. Thanks for the encouragement Tan. I’m going to keep fighting the good fight.