Say hello… Hello brothers and sisters.
I was raised a Jehovah’s Witness and left twice at 18 and then joined again for several years, finally leaving when I was about 27. I lost my eldest brother as a child and as far back as I can remember I have been praying and relying on a loving Father who didn’t seem to be the same person I read about as a Jehovah’s Witness.
In my teens I became very rebellious, I was heavily involved with the music scene and all the trappings that go with that life style. But I would still pray most nights and because I felt He had never left me, my conscience bothered me over the things I did. So I returned to the witnesses, feeling this was what I needed to do. I felt no comfort about any of the things I’d done and worried myself into dark depressions over fears about the end (as taught by JW’s).
Around the same time my husband, who I married in my early 20’s had become a JW but unbeknownst to me, was having serious doubts. He had started to read the bible himself. We ‘fell away’ from the JW’s around the same time, he began his path then, but I was stubborn and hurt. I felt all religion was a trick and at one time decided I didn’t care to talk about God. I had decided to go my own way, this was a massive mistake. I separated from my husband and again fell into serious sin. Then a few things happened, my then ex husband said something about the JWs, ‘they have no natural affection’ and I thought, ‘ that’s me’ it made me think. Then my grandfather died and all the pain of grief I’d carried came back to me. I remembered how this secret Father I prayed to as a child had helped me through it.
I began to read the bible and unlearn all the lies I’d been taught. I prayed for my Father to answer my questions and drew close to Jesus. For the last four years I can positively say Jesus has been the answer to my prayers and by Him I can now see my Father.
I no longer look to any human leader, but rather I look directly to Jesus Christ and I feel although I’m young in the faith, I’m being taught by the Holy Spirit; as unbelievable peace has entered my life- answers to questions come so quickly, I have nothing but wonder for God.
Reading the bible daily is an absolute must for me in a number of ways. I have always been an independent thinker, which has caused me so many problems in the past, but reading everyday and putting my trust in God to straighten my path and direct my feet, is my lifeline. He is my refuge and my stronghold.
I also suffer from bipolar disorder and at one point made a serious attempt to end my life. My depressions are very difficult and I feel so much shame over the manic episodes I have. But I have to mention how dramatically Jesus Christ has helped me even with this, His words in Matthew take on a different meaning now, one of complete understanding of how hard it can be to cope with anxiety, ‘So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of it’s own. Today’s trouble is enough for today’ and I tell myself stop now, tomorrow is a new day, throw your burdens on Christ and trust in him. He has been so powerful for me at times when I need Him the most. My tears wet my pillow, I pray to be with Him and talk to Him over and over all day.
If you’re suffering with depression, think of the things to come. This world is only temporary. I love thinking of nature, how it says in Job that He is the one who directs the animals. I get so much comfort thinking of all the good things we still get to witness in His creation. Never ever think you’re alone.
Now I’m back with my husband and I fill my life with trying to please the one who has given me so much I could never repay Him for. Instead I try to do as He says and love others, this also has helped m mental health dramatically.
I love the apologist idea, defending my faith can be very difficult, my whole family are hostages to the JW cult. But a little from me and a little from others, who knows? Only my Father.
Keep the kingdom in your thoughts always, think what you’ll do, what you’ll say to Jesus, can you see yourself? And lastly, I can’t wait to see my brother again, our eyes wiped of tears of sorrow and replaced with tears of joy.
I pray for us all. Lean on Him, never doubt the love He has, but remember if you should fail, He is faithful, He never leaves you, this has been my greatest lesson- all those years now I’m sure He never left me, His loving patience and understanding has no end.
Peace and love to you all, may we all be together in union with Jesus, just as He is with our Father, and fully understand the reconciliation we now have and use this joy to the glory of God.
Where are you from?
I live in Scotland
What led you to join Connect?
Ravi Z and Mike W on YouTube
How do you hope to contribute?
If I could offer education and help for people talking with Jehovah’s witnesses, I know a lot about their religion. And I would also love to help anyone experiencing mental illness or dealing with a family member who has these problems. The bible is makes a clear reply to us, but I understand that sometimes it’s hard to study.