Death/Fear

Hallo.
So a boy i used to know back in high school, overdozed on some drugs or killed himself about 2weeks ago. He is gone.

I have been dealing with the fear of death/dying since i can remember. I am not sure why and when it came but it is not something new. I have not YET lost anyone close to me so i can not say that i have dealt with this before. But i can say that for the past days, since i got the news of the death of this person, the fear has magnified that i have failed to go to sleep of late because i am afraid i will “not wake up”. Sleep is my favourite stress reliever, sleep comes easy to me, but now, even to simply take a nap, i have failed to do.

i keep thinking, i could be next, i think about, what he saw when he was on the other side, was he scared, did it hurt, did he regret, did Jesus hug him?

Could it be that be that my faith is weak and that is why i am so afraid? Could it be that the issue is my trust in God? I do struggle with anxiety so maybe this could explain why i am feeling like this. Could it be that earlier when i was yonger and more naive, i was not so aware of the deaths and killings happening every second i blink but now i am? I do not know, nonetheless i would like to now how most Christians deal with death, grief, fear of the unknown…maybe someone can share a suggestion of a Christian Jesus related lullaby to help me sleep. That would not be so bad. :slight_smile:

I just want to enjoy my life without all this fear seated on my head.

How do i do this?

Thank you

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@mourn_cheri this is a very real issue that many many people face. Have you ever read and good Christian books on the afterlife? I recommend Surprised by Hope by N.T. Wright or The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. I think that if we understand what our destiny is, death becomes something to look forward to.

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Hallo @brianlalor
no, i have not read those books yet. I am going to look for them. Thank you. And i did not know that very many people experience this.
-Destiny. If possible, please suggest a book too to help me figure that out as well.

Thank you so much for this!
God bless you

@mourn_cheri in the country that I live in people do not keep clocks in their houses as it reminds them of death. Also many elevators all over the country have no 4 to select as the word 4 sounds like the word for death.

Destiny - In the words of Wright, we should not be looking forward to life after death but rather, ‘‘life after life after death’’. If I die now I (my spirit & soul) go to be with Christ in heaven. But a time then will come when Jesus will return and resurrect my mortal body. This is the destiny of every believer. Can you imagine an eternity with Christ ruling the earth without sin or death? :raised_hands: :raised_hands: :raised_hands:

At the end of Lewis’ book when the believer dies he finally sees. He sees the one who was tormenting and tempting him all his life and it all made sense. I long for that day!

I pray that you may know the joy set before you sister :handshake:

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Wow, @mourn_cheri, it is so sad to hear of your high school friends death. I am sorry you are going through this season of anxiety. I don’t think it is uncommon, especially when you are young however, I do know some older folks that have this fear. I read an article that may be helpful for you and I will be lifting you up in prayer as well.
https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/reviews/slavery-of-death/
I am 56 and the longer I am on this earth, the more I look forward to meeting my Savior :latin_cross: where all of our longings will be fulfilled and we can finally rest from all of our striving. I remember telling my mother n law that “death is not final, it’s actually when we really begin to live.”
Take care and keep us posted. Reach out anytime :heart:

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@mourn_cheri – I am so very sorry to hear about your classmate. Whether intentional or not, my heart breaks for his family. :pensive:

My heart also hurts for you as this episode has brought intensely to the fore a fear that you have battled your whole life. Like @brianlalor and @sig have pointed out, you are not alone in the fear of death. The existential philosophers point to death as being one of the great points of ‘concern’ (or causes for anxiety in) a human life. It is something we all wrestle with – some to greater degrees than others.

I will say that I myself have a love-hate relationship with facing The Unknown. Those questions that you were turning over in your mind reminded me of my own wrestling with anxiety.

Oh, the thoughts that race through your mind when all you want to do is rest! I sometimes literally have to ‘thank’ my ‘Self’ for bringing up these good questions, but point out to my ‘Self’ that we can think about these things at a more appropriate time. Then I actually picture myself handing these worries over to God for Him to hold, trusting that He will be with me through all things.

But you also asked a very poignant question: ‘Why am I so afraid?’ Again, you are not alone in that question; many of the psalms address it! Two that come to mind quickly are Psalms 42 and 56. If you are looking to be strengthened in your faith or deepen your trust in God, these are good places to start.

Hearing from Him and building that relationship with Him is vital for our courage. (I will say from experience, the less I listen to Him and cut Him off, the more anxious I become.)

And yet another vital question you bring up: What if I am next? I would like to change the emphasis so that the question reads: what if I am ‘next’? …Next for what? What does the Bible say about our ultimate destination, and what does that mean for me? If you need a place to start (other than the Psalms!), Jesus’ final words to his disciples in John 16-17 are golden.

I pray that you can hear God’s words of peace being spoken to you in these overwhelming times. :pray:

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Hi!

I used to have this fear as well. I’m the sort of person who needs to know how a book or a movie ends before I reach the last chapter or last act. I don’t like to be surprised (unpleasantly) and I don’t like not knowing in advance. So for me to have this fear is really bewildering. After all as one preacher said once, “I’ve read the whole Bible. In the end it will be okay.”

Anyways a couple of years ago I heard a testimony. A church mate knew of a couple whose teenage son was diagnosed with cancer. During the treatments the parents would ask for prayers that claimed healing for their son, and would be angry whenever a Christian sibling reminded them that this is a sovereign God we have, and that it’s His decision always. They would berate the Christian sibling for lack of faith. It’s completely understandable for the parents to react that way.

For two years they sought treatment for the teenager desperately but his condition continued to deteriorate… till finally his parents had to accept the fact they would have to say goodbye to him.

On his last day, the teenager was suddenly lucid. He was able to hold clear conversations with his parents, talking about the good times they had together, comforting them and telling them not to grieve for him. It was as though he was not sick at all!

Then after a while, the teenager said to his parents. “Okay, Mom and Dad, I gotta go, I gotta go. Jesus is there (and he pointed at one corner of the room) waiting for me.” And the teenager drew his last breath.

If Jesus is waiting for you and me at the end, it will be okay in the end. :grinning:

Last week i struggled w getting out of bed life felt meaningless. Fear paralyzed me. Anxiety sometimes attacks a specific fear. I used to have that to the point i lost touch with reality. 2 years Ago. I prayed earnestly and listened to sermons on repentance to help me humble myself. God loves humility and guaranteed gives grace to the humble. We were made to be in union with God and on this side of eternity a large part of that oneness with God is desiring Him as John Piper preaches on youtube. My encouragement is to humbly beg God for His grace. I did and he completely touched me with His love enough to get my attention. I then said ok God i will obey trust every conviction you give me. 28 days later the last thing God asked me to give Him was my anxiety. I gave it with tears of joy and He took it entirely away. I was high on His love for many months. I fight for that love still. Last week was difficult i did the same humility and begging Him. I wrote this song on Thursday and it drips with his annointing towards me.
The opposite of paralyzing fear is constrained by the love of God towards joyful hope peace and abundant life. If you don’t experience it then beg God humbly for His love and He will give it when He becomes your greatest desire Matt 5:5
Its called paralyzed
Waking up trying to get out of bed.
Regrets fill my head so I lie there instead.
I’m held down by mistakes and by fears paralyzed,
I must decide to get over my pride.
But I’m…
I’m so terrified. I’m screaming out loud inside,
So I’m praying…
Rescue me from the lies and the despair inside
I need another spark of your grace.
I’m so scared, I don’t trust to say I know.
All other hope, I forego.
Self pity wont help, suicide is a lie.
In You I find hope, your mercy is wide.
In repentance and rest salvation I’ll find
In quietness and trust your strength will be mine

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@brianlalor Thank you for so much for suggesting this book. I received it today. Very excited for what i am going to learn.:muscle:t5:

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Hallo @sig

Thank you for your reply. I feel better, frankly knowing i do not go through these worries alone made me feel at ease. So many people i know have never expressed their fear of death/never talked about it. I personally never even heard a preaching about it. So thank you for mostly being empathetic with my situation.:yellow_heart:
Ps. I tried opening the link of the article you suggested but it will not open on my side.

Oh and my sleeping is back to normal. Thank you. God bless you so!

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I am so thankful you are feeling better. I will continue to lift you up in prayer. We need encouragement from one another :heart: I’m sorry you couldn’t open the link but I see you got the book @brianlalor suggested. Wonderful! Keep us posted :pray:t3:

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@KMac

This i will testify is true. I did notice that when i somehow did not commune with Him (My King, Jesus) as often, i would get terrible unnecessary anxious behavior. I am growing in faith, i did really need the bible verses you suggested to help give me strength. There’s so much power in His word. It’s beautiful.

Thank you so much, i can’t express enough how you and all the others have helped me. God bless you

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Hallo @tikva

Thank you for taking the time to write to my question. oh that story of the teenager, i pray i receive such a peace that even when death is looking me in the eyes, i am not scared.
I can say that i feel better now. So much empathy, and understanding is probably what i needed. Knowing that i do not go through this alone.

Yes, Jesus will be there waiting for me, it will be okay. :blush:

God bless you. And thank you again.

Hallo @SuneXei Thank you so much for sharing. These experiences you go through are not so far apart from mine.

Isn’t God so wonderful. That He has shown me someone who is going through something close to mine?
I am going to keep you in prayer, thank you for the encouragment. God bless you

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