Does age matter (to God) within marriage

Generally, people marry someone similar to their age.
When someone marries someone much younger or much older than themselves, there seems to be some disapproval from others. Sometimes people say it’s not natural. If this is the reason, I don’t think it is adequate because that would mean you are determining if something is right/wrong based on what seems natural. Jesus said that our human nature is deeply flawed.
What would God say about age within marriage?
Is it something that matters a lot or not, and why?


Hi @Sgpage this is a question I have never considered but I am going to investigate it. Can you tell me a little more about why you ask? Are you considering marriage yourself?

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I don’t know that the Bible actually speaks to this topic directly. One thing it does say is that we should not be unequally-yoked, and, while that CLEARLY is referring to Christians not marrying non-Christians, I would say it’s a pretty good principle in other areas as well. I would think the numerical ages aren’t as important as the maturity level and amount of life experience. There are some very wise 20-year-olds, and some brain-dead dumb 40-year-olds. If you get a big difference in maturity/life experience levels, it would be quite easy for the older person to manipulate the younger. Then, as the younger person matures, there will be big problems that develop (see Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes for instance). Without knowing the specific situation you have in mind, it’s hard to give anything but general advice, but I hope this helps.

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Hi! No, I am currently single and feel God is calling me to singleness during this season in my life in order to focus more on my studies and ministry.
I am interested in this question because I have had several conversations with friends about marriage recently and most requirements or guidelines for marriage can be found in the Bible for example- marriage is between a man and a woman, sex is exclusive to marriage, marriage is an act of giving oneself to the other person exclusively, fully, and permanently.
People generally marry someone around the same age as themself, and it makes sense to me because they are similar in their stage of life, physical conditions, and interests/activities. I was wondering if this is a biblical principle or just cultural.


@Sgpage thanks for getting back to me. It is very encouraging to hear the wisdom you have in this area. I am a father of 3 girls so this kind of decision is very important to me.
To answer your question directly the bible does not have any law about age in marriage. One might look to Romans 13 where we are told to obey the governing authorities, meaning the law of your country.

The bible was written in a very different time and culture to our own. It was a time when girls married very young and life expectancy of women was much younger than men due to complicatuons in childbirth. This went on until only a few hundred years ago I believe when midwives began using soap!

We read stories in the bible of young women marrying older men, such as Ruth and Boaz so there definately was not a law against that back then. However, if I may share my personal belief. I believe that marriage is the second most important decision you will ever make. For this reason I like to use the example of Issac and Rebekah as Ravi did in his book, "I Isaac Take Thee Rebekah", in my approach to marriage. I highly recommend reading this book to anybody considering marriage.

In the book Ravi points out how in Rebekah’s life (and Isaac’s) as is the custom in India and The Middle East marriage is a family decision. It is extremely wise to involve family or mentors into this, the second most important decision you will ever make. When I was determining whether I should marry my amazing wife, I asked her father for permission as well as advice from my own and mentors in my life. They all gave me the green light and it has been the best decision I ever made.

On a sidenote, at this time a couple I knew in Australia also gave me a prophetic word to come to Australia and marry a friend of theirs. I tested the word through prayer, did not receive any confirmation from God, but received multiple confirmations to marry the lady I married.

I realise I went off topic here quite a bit, sorry about that :smile: but to come back to your question, there is no age guideline in the bible, however the template I see is that marriage is a community decision. I hope this helps.


thanks, that makes a lot of sense!

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