The Bible uses the word “equal” very little. The concept that we are all “equal” or that the outcome of everyone’s life must be “equal” is not really biblical language. “Equality” for everyone, with regard to any arbitrary topic, is really an atheistic politically correct slogan. I would rather that Christians move the discussion to concepts that the Bible uses.
For example, the Old Testament in Exodus commands that God’s people shall not show partiality/favoritism in applying God’s law. This concept is quoted by James in chapter 2 (when James gives the example of treating a rich man differently than a poor man). Historically, Christians would call this principle “equality before the law” (do you remember that phrase in the US Constitution?). But this refers to applying God’s moral/ethical law without discrimination/favoritism to God’s people. It is not a free-standing definition of “equality.” And it does not refer to applying equality before the law, with regard to a rule of law that is different than God’s moral/ethical law.
We see the Bible asserting that each person is individually morally/ethically responsible for what they choose to do. This is a type of “equality” that is biblical. But at the final judgment, when God impartially evaluates each of our lives against his moral/ethical code, there will be very different outcomes. Many people will be condemned. Few people will escape condemnation. Of those not condemned, the level of reward can vary from nothing, to huge (based on how we each lived out righteousness, or did not, or somewhere in between). There is no equality of outcome, at the final judgment. As Paul says, at the resurrection, we will differ in glory as the sun, moon, and stars all differ in their levels of glory.
Part of God’s moral/ethical code deals with sex, sexuality, sexual roles, gifts within God’s people, our age, types of authority, what God has called each of us to do, and the righteous acts that God has prepared for each of us to live out daily. As Paul says in Ephesians, we are God’s creation in Christ, for good works. Are we to demand that God use no creativity (and demand sameness) in how God created us into new creations? Some people like to quote Paul: “submit yourselves one to another, in the Lord.” However, they miss the following explanation of this ordering/arrangement that Paul is commanding: wives are to revere their husbands; husbands are to sacrifice their lives for their wives; children are to obey their parents; slaves are to obey their masters and work cheerfully for them; masters are to treat their slaves kindly and as equals (because both have the same master in heaven). The glory of the woman is the man. The glory of the man is Christ. The glory of children is to obey their parents. We are to submit ourselves to those who watch over our souls. “Equality” doesn’t really describe a specific man’s position among all men. Nor a specific woman’s position among all women. There is no “equality” here.
We do see radical language from Paul, who says that all who are “in Christ” are adopted sons of God, and co-heirs with Christ. We don’t quite feel the shock waves of this language, as would be felt in a Roman culture where women do not inherit, and a woman would not ever be an adopted son of anyone. And yet this outcome for all who are in Christ, is still subject to the conditions of the new covenant. It is not some sort of “entitlement” thing.
And then, the modern sense of “equality” bypasses the sovereignty of God altogether. In the modern usage, it’s not wrong that Jonah decided to go on a whale watching tour, instead of going where God commanded him to go. We can’t individually appeal to “equal opportunity,” and still respect the sovereignty of God to command me to live a very specific life that is different from what i think I am entitled to.
The biblical description of how I must allow God to be sovereign in my life, and I must not stridently demand the same outcome as people around me, or demand to define how I am to spend my life, or demand a self-defined identity, is VERY different than the modern PC language of “equality” that completely dispenses with God’s sovereignty.
This is where I would start the discussion about “equality,” with a fellow Christian.