Emotional and illogical tirades

(Manna Ko) #1

Hi there :slight_smile: I don’t know if this has been discussed in the other forums (I will search again later today), but how do you handle people who are completely illogical, won’t stay on topic, start screaming, ranting, attacking you, going after you personally etc, and refuse to stay on the topic matter? I have tried getting back to the point, discussing the false premises, addressed their unfounded position because they haven’t even studied the bill (ie legislation in California that allows schools to teach kindergarten children about sex, sexual positions, gender identity issues etc), and even addressed their arrogance (a mid-20 year old living in another country accusing a 60 year old double Doctorate in California who does understand the bill above, that she didn’t know what she was talking about), etc. There is a growing number of fanatical activists for the LGBTQ…alphabet, where logic, reason and basic humanity does not seem to be in their scope - or willingness. It’s amazing to hear Ravi and the team on podcasts when they speak at universities, but how does one handle an “every day” situation in community outside of higher education where there is some modicum of propriety and maybe even respect? Thank you :slight_smile:

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(Lindsay Brandt) #2

Hello, @mannaforlife. It is unfortunate that at times we run into people who go into tirades. I grew up with a mother that goes on emotional and illogical tirades, and as an adult, I had to go through extensive counseling to learn how to handle those situations. Even though it is not exactly the same situation as the one of which you speak, the principles we use to handle the situation are somewhat the same. Once a person goes on a tirade like that, they are not in a place in which they are able to reason or process anything received in any rational manner, and so at that point, it is best to graciously disengage. Pray, pray, pray, and then if you get another chance to converse with the person after he or she has calmed down, if you so feel led by the Spirit, try reengaging. If you are good at asking open-ended questions, starting with that approach may help.

The difference between Ravi’s speaking engagements and our speaking engagements in the community is context and expectations. When Ravi goes to a university to speak, the atmosphere and precepts of an educational experience sets implied boundaries and the expectation that certain behavior is standard for that setting and that if behavior goes outside that standard, the boundaries and standard for behavior in that setting will be enforced. In other settings in which we who are not speakers may engage, expectations change and there may or may not be a sense of boundaries or standard for behavior depending on the situation and particular setting.

Hope this is helpful!

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(Manna Ko) #3

Thank you soooooo much for taking the time to reply and to share your wisdom and experience. Yes, your response was very helpful. Thank you :slight_smile: Disengaging is what has been coming up a lot in my heart as well, and this morning, 2 other friends independently of each other, said the same thing. The situation came totally out of the blue, and I was not expecting to be hit like that. So, like you experienced in your past (I’m so sorry you had to go through that), it is taking me a little time to ground myself. I am now more aware to be prepared for those “out of the blue” situations, and that they will occur more often than not. It was a sobering lesson for me - to expect the unexpected, even from people we think we know. Thank you!!! :slight_smile: Blessings to you :slight_smile:

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(Lindsay Brandt) #4

I will be praying over the situation and for peace of heart and mind for you. In Christ, Lindsay

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(C Rhodes) #5

@mannaforlife. I have found when I encounter truly uncivil and often irrational responses there is a need for me to take a step back for context. Often what I am seeing is the knowledge that will direct how best to pray for an individual. I think the enemy is counting on the ability to create imbalance and confusion when faced with sometimes shocking behavior. The intent is to silence the testimony and upset the bearer of the Gospel testimony into an ineffective witness.

I am learning that chaotic behavior on the human level is not an indication of the successful delivery of GOD’s message. I recall that GOD’s Word says, some will plant, some will water, but GOD gives the increase. That helps me remove presumptions of what acceptance of the Gospel message should look like. It is vastly more important to know how to pray for a person. To be able to discern the truth of their dilemma and know the real question to answer. Sometimes it is just knowing when not to place a pearl before a farmyard occupant. Being in tune with the Will of GOD and knowing when to speak or when to be silent. 1 Corinthians 3:6-8. Matthew 7:6.

Any more such tirades represent the effectiveness of the testimony; beyond my own hope. If someone is on a tirade, they are already being convicted or impacted by the message. The anger and the illogic indicate impact, but prayer provides the direction. GOD uses all sentiment.

“I trust in God, I know He cares for me;
On mountain bleak or on the stormy sea;
Tho’ billows roll, He keeps my soul;
My heavenly Father watches over me.”

Lyrics by William C. Martin, music by Charles H. Gabriel

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(Manna Ko) #6

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!! :slight_smile: I will remember to center myself and to pray as they go off the deep end :slight_smile: The people I’m talking to are not believers, and while I know there are underlying issues and roots, it’s not something I can address (nor am I invited to) in most cases. I am learning the art of disengagement too :slight_smile: Hahha :slight_smile: Thank you SOOO much! Blessings upon blessings to you!

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(Manna Ko) #7

You are the best! THANK YOU :slight_smile: It’s this situation (and my regrouping from it) and the realization that there will be more like this. I grew up with a lot of craziness too. My heart is with you :slight_smile: This whole thing taught me to be prepared for the worst, and to pray for the best. Thank you so much for your caring heart :slight_smile:

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(Dean Schmucker) #8

Maybe the answer is to not engage them at all, lest we “cast our pearls before swine”. Simple acts of ordinary human kindness might do more to evangelize the world than anything we could possibly say.

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(Luna) #9

When someone is being highly aggressive and illogical then more than likely there is more so emotional reasons why they believe what they believe. Some times asking them questions instead of providing facts and direct answers helps you understand where they are coming from.

Most times when you ask “Well what you do mean by that?” or “Can you explain why you feel that way?” you learn its not really about logic but about something the individual went through or is going through that is pushing them to take the stance they are taking.

Other times people just want to be right and want to do things their own way. Sometimes its not for us to argue but to just plant a seed of thought to get them questioning their position and nothing more.

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(Manna Ko) #10

Thank you so much! Yes, I do try to do that when appropriate. But even so, there have been times they get even more antagonistic yelling at me not to “psychoanalyze them.” Sigh…thank you, Luna! I so appreciate your insights, and yes, there is no way to reason with everyone. The Lord is so amazing giving us that parable of the seeds and the soils. How good the soil is may never be for us to know. Thank you so much again! :slight_smile:

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(Manna Ko) #11

YESSSS! Thank you, Dean! I’m learning to disengage now. I just have to balance/be more aware with understanding the process. I need to discern better the tension between disengaging because it’s “pearls before swine…” (and/or I’m not called to this situation etc), and “this is too hard/too much energy” (etc). Thank you so much!

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(Lou Hablas) #12

Such wise words!!

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(Merrie Goddard) #13

The most recent replies to your question -about the deep emotional things that are happening in the people who are ranting, will help you a lot. It is not at all productive to try to argue or discuss with people who are ranting. My sister does this often, and I have learned to leave the situation and let her calm down.
On another level, these folk are activists because they need to be heard personally and need deep healing from God. For example, they want sex study in schools because they were isolated sexually in school. Loving them in an effective way is the hard thing. If you can find a place and way to do it, it could be amazing. Or I agree with others, disengage and Pray that God finds a safe place for them.

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(Claire N Streb) #14

@mannaforlife Great question! Since no one mentioned this (I think, please excuse me if I am wrong) some of these people might be led by demons, in other words, it could be spiritual warfare at times. How you handle that is up to you and God. If the Spirit so moves you at the time, you could let them vent (while you breathe deeply, pray, and count to ten), then say something like, “Oh, I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel. As a born-again Christian, I believe [fill in the blank]. If you would like to talk about it some more, I would like to hear what you have to say.” That way you are being a good witness for the LORD, truthful, and caring. That’s just a different approach besides the other answers here.

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(Manna Ko) #15

Hi Claire! I appreciate your insight and thank you so very much for taking the time to respond :slight_smile: I am so thankful for your time and for everyone who also commented. This situation was a necessary discomfort for a much greater purpose. Thank you!!! :slight_smile:

(Manna Ko) #16

Thank you, Merrie :slight_smile: This was such an important lesson for me to learn and I will have many more great tools for any future “opportunities” (hahhaha). Thank you again! :slight_smile: