Hello, @Rjbentley. First of all, welcome! These are great questions. To start, I noticed most of all your talking about longing for relationships. I am wondering, are you part of a church family? Relationships take much time and effort to develop, even in a church with fellow believers, but it is worth pursuing. While you are pursuing relationships with others, though, make sure your anchor and hope is in your relationship with the Lord. That will help to steer you away from hopelessness, as you seek Him in His Word and prayer. He will keep you while you seek out relationships with fellow believers.
As far as how to react to not “fitting in,” I really, really “get” you there! One of my husband’s and my biggest struggles is with his family, who are unbelievers and relish drama. First, we had to prayerfully and lovingly figure out where to draw boundaries. Too low of boundaries will draw us into compromising our faith, and too high of boundaries will keep us from being able to witness our faith! In some cases, the boundaries have to be very high, but I find that is usually not necessary. Paul told his converts in one of his letters that as far as it depends on them, to be at peace with others, and that includes those we don’t “fit in” with. In 1 Thessalonians 4:11, Paul exhorted his converts to work with their own hands and mind their business and lead quiet lives so as to behave properly towards outsiders so that the integrity and witness of the gospel will stay in tact. This does not mean compromising our walk in our faith, but it does mean that we should always be considerate of others, treating them with respect and dignity. Embrace not fitting in, not in a way that is obnoxious, but in a way that shines as a witness and testimony to the work of Christ in your life! Think Daniel! He is my FAVORITE example of someone who did not fit in and handled it well, and I think you may find some encouragement in how he went about honoring God in a society and culture that worshiped other gods.