Have I had confirmation that I'm going to hell?

(Lawrence ) #1

Hello all,

I feel like to have to tell someone about this because for me, and for anybody, this is deeply troubling.

In November 2017, I attended Life which was an amazing conference set up by Shake the Nations and Christ for All Nations, featuring Daniel Kolenda, Todd White and Nathan Morris. I saw the Holy Spirit in action which was just amazing to see.

Now, one day I was suffering from really bad anxiety and depression. I was in the middle of doing something and then suddenly in my mind a thought came into my head and this thought was that what I saw from Life was not from the Holy Spirit but from the Devil. Immediately after this thought came into my mind, I was shocked. Moments later, I felt my heart hardening. Oh my word, it was a really awful experience, I just wanted it to go away. Is this confirmation that I have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit, committed against the unforgivable sin or was Satan just trying to trick me?

I have looked into what exactly is Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit but there are various explanations as to what this is which is deeply frustrating - especially as you are extremely desperate for an answer!! On nearly every source it says something along the lines of if you’re worried about committing, it means that you haven’t. I don’t understand the logic behind this. Can someone please explain this to me?

I think I haven’t because God has been speaking to me in amazing ways recently and plus how can a person commit this sin and have the knowledge that they are going to hell when they die? I find it hard to believe that God can allow that to happen. Think about it, knowing that you’re going to hell, no matter what you do, that’s it. Can you think of anything scarier???

Furthermore, when I pray, I occasionally feel this sensation in my heart. Maybe it’s psychological?

Thank you reading this post. I need answers just like the dessert misses the rain.

(Kathleen) #2

@LKHHKL! Hello, friend. Thanks for opening up about the situation you have found yourself in and for allowing us to walk alongside you in it. :slight_smile: Can I ask a quick clarifying question? Was your episode of anxiety and depression during the Life conference, or was it some time after it?

(Lawrence ) #3

Hi, there! I was absolutely fine during the Life conference.

(Kathleen) #4

Gotcha. Thanks, that just helped me picture your situation a bit better. :slight_smile:

Like what you yourself said, I too find it not only difficult to believe that God would allow that to happen, but I find that it would be 100% against his character for someone to be condemned that arbitrarily. In fact, I am much more concerned that you were having a bout with anxiety and depression than I am about anything else!

I understand ‘blasphemy against the HS’ as a gradual hardening of the heart, rather than a sort of one-and-done deal. That is, a person becomes beyond forgiveness because they have hardened to the point where they refuse to ask for it. It sounds like to me that you desire to serve God and that you have a relationship with Him and that you care about keeping that relationship. Those who commit the ‘unforgivable’ wouldn’t care that they did.

Here’s a good response from @SeanO from a couple of months back in a similar conversation…

(Lindsay Brandt) #5

Hello, Lawrence. I’m so glad you reached out to the Connect community on this! I cannot give you much more than @KMac’s response, but what I can tell you is that for a long time up until about two years ago, I experienced bouts of anxiety and depression (mine were a result of post partum). During these bouts, I would have thoughts come in that said God had turned away from me and that I was going to hell. It was only during those bouts that I ever experienced that. I really had to dig into the truth of God’s Word on my salvation and on God’s love for me, and while at my lowest of lows, when I didn’t have the strength to even do that, I had to phone a trusted Christian friend and also talked with my husband. Those times were the hardest in my life, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. My heart goes out to you, and I am praying for strength and comfort and peace over your mind and heart.

(Luna) #6

I had the same fear when I was a teenager and it took forever for me to understand what blaspheming the Holy Spirit meant. When Jesus spoke on this the religious leaders at that time knew Jesus was telling the truth about who he was but they were choosing not to believe it. Its basically rejection of the Holy Spirit from what I understand. So if you are constantly rejecting the Holy Spirit how can you be forgiven? In order to know you need a Savior and need to be forgiven you need to accept the Holy Spirits call to conviction. That can’t happen if you are always rejecting him.

Once I realized that I knew there was nothing I could do to keep me from God unless I made the choice to keep myself separate from him.

(Sieglinde) #7

Hello @LKHHKL. Thank you for reaching out. Bless your heart, that does sound awful. Our adversary, accuser, and liar the Devil seems to bathe in our anxious thoughts and when we are in a state of sadness or depression. I have read the replies here from @KMac, @psalm151ls, @Luna and @SeanO and feel you are in very good hands. I believe they have helped you here. I just wanted to encourage you and let you know you will be in my prayers :heart:

(C Rhodes) #8

@LKHHKL. I would just add. My father would often assure me in times of anxiousness in my walk with CHRIST; that my concern was the greatest proof that I was not complicit. The only example we can point to of blasphemy is satan. And the Word of GOD tells us, that satan has no anxiety over his approaching doom. Anger yes, but no anxiety. He works to take as many of us with him, he knows how important we are to GOD. My guess if you had blasphemed you probably would not care.

(Tim Behan) #9


Bless you brother, for opening up with your struggle. I hope and pray that God works in you to encourage you and strengthen you against the Devil and his works.

Please let me add my encouragement to that of others. You have certainly not had confirmation of going to Hell. The blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is discussed quite a bit and people here have given great answers on it already. But if it helps any more… I see blasphemy of the Holy Spirit as utterly rejecting the work of the Holy Spirit… not as a one-off rejection, but one that perpetuates and hardens over time (I think the longer it goes on, the more likely it is to remain). The purpose of the Holy Spirit is to bring a person to a knowledge of Jesus and repentance through Him. Then, further, in the building up of a Christian to be more like Christ. Because we believe in a gospel of redemption, I think there is noone this side of death who really has fully “committed the unforgivable sin”, as it were… but like @KMac has said someone who over time hardens their heart towards the gospel and the work of the Holy Spirit is the most likely to end up in this state.

One reason why I think people say that you haven’t committed it if you’re worried about having committed it… is that I would say that is the work of the Holy Spirit inside you, convicting you and challenging you to view your own heart. It is you recognising that with a sincere repentant heart, concerned about your relationship with God. I think that in itself (as others already have said) is proof enough that no unforgivable sin has been committed at all.

I hope that helps… sorry if it was long-winded and just repeating what others have said. Be encouraged brother and persevere. May the Holy Spirit continue His work in you.