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Healthy Sexuality

I just went through this post and I’m kind of confused over @Sam_Allberry’s answer. Does it mean that If I am married to an opposite sex and still have sexual attractions for same sex partners it would be right?

Or does it mean that I can still partake in same sex indulgences even though I’m married to the opposite sex, and won’t this be sin in itself?

Or does it mean that I can be married to the opposite sex and still have same sex and will still be in God’s will?

I would further want to be cleared on homosexuality and the will of God in it. Thank you.

I hope I wasn’t provocative cos it almost looks that way?:relaxed:


Hello, @Bassey! Thanks for asking for clarification. :slight_smile:

I’m getting caught up on the word ‘right’ in your question. What is it referring to? The marriage? The attraction?

I’m pretty sure he is NOT meaning this. Sam (and, indeed, RZIM) uphold the traditional ethic of permitted sexual expression being between one man and one woman within the covenant of marriage.

I am confused by what you mean by ‘same sex’. Were you referring to attraction?


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Hi @Bassey!
Allow me extract the response as I understand it should be.
God recognizes the union of heterosexual partners despite the one is, or even both are, struggling with same sex attraction, as long as they keep the lust in check and remain faithful to each other. God honors that union and will help them overcome the struggle of misplaced attraction.

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Hello @KMac, it’s the attraction, I’m questioning.

Thank you on this clarification, it really helped. I actually meant the act for the last question and not just the attraction. However, I now understand better Sam’s response thanks to you guys. You are awesome. Thanks a lot.:slightly_smiling_face::blush::innocent::innocent:

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Thanks for the clarification. :slight_smile:

What I would be keen to point out is that Sam doesn’t seem to be making a moral pronouncement (good/bad, right/wrong) on the attraction itself. He seems to be operating out of the assumption that sexual attraction in general is a fact of life.

But he does seem to be saying that he knows people for whom heterosexual marriage (even if one partner or both experience same-sex attraction) has been a blessing. And in some instances, he has seen that within that marriage relationship, attractional patterns changed. That does not mean that will always happen though, as he said in the next paragraph:

I also know other Christians whose attractional pattern has not changed, but who nevertheless met someone of the opposite sex who was the exception to the rule.

So I do agree in a broad sense with what Dennis says here:

But I do think we need to be careful of what ‘overcoming the struggle’ looks like. I do think whatever our attractional pattern, God is in the business of freeing us from being in bondage to sexual desire. That doesn’t mean we won’t have it anymore (it is a part of our humanity, after all); it just means that we don’t have to be ruled by it. :slight_smile:


Thanks a lot @KMac for the help. You’re amazing. God bless you :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::innocent::hugs: