Hi @RiaanL, that’s tough questions.
‘So I am wondering whether I am here because of me [YES] or where did I miss the “life of abundance”, “lamp unto my feet”, “all things good for those who love Him” etc. verses [FAITH?]. And did I really “hear” God all of those times or did I hear me? [WHO KNOWS] And where to now? [SCRIPTURE]’
I quit my job, gave all my money away, distanced my folks, based on the influence of a shepherd (who heard from God). Was without work for +/- two years thereafter. It was not easy to rebuild a shattered life.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God delivers him from them all.
The good news: The righteous will fall many times, but God will deliver them from all.
So you will be delivered, but you will probably fail again, but God remains faithful.
This is what I more-or-less believe:
- The best thing you can currently do is to do whatever your hand finds to do and commit it to God (Ec 9:10, Ps 37:5 & Prov 16:3)
- We are ultimately responsible for all our failures and successes.
- God is always true, and if His word ‘fails’ it’s because of lack of faith, or not being understood correctly.
We should not despise prophecy, but I find it very hard, since basically none of it has come true in my life. I’m still trying to get better understanding about this subject, which is closely related to the topic at hand.
So yes, I made wrong decisions, however innocent my intentions, and the same (probably) goes for you.
In terms of prosperity…
Save now, I beseech thee, O LORD: O LORD, I beseech thee, send now prosperity. PS 118:25 which I also pray for you.
Nearly none of us are functioning in faith. Peter asked ‘if it is You, bid me come’, not ‘if it is Your will, bid me come’.
What value, what greater good could come of walking on the water? That to me is a utterly frivolous venture. Yet, Peter walked on water.
He said to the disciples ‘you of little faith’, not ‘gotcha, it was actually God’s greater plan this time around, not to honour your faith’.
If you have faith(believe)… it will manifest. If nothing manifests, no matter how much you claim to have faith, you don’t. That’s the hard reality.
In short, those are my thoughts (feel free to disagree).