Help speaking to child about death/heaven


(Tammy) #1

Hi everyone, how can I talk to a 4 yro. child about heaven and death? His father passed away and he is asking where is daddy? He is not in a home that believes in God. His mom blames God for the death of her husband. God has given me the most beautiful opportunity to share my faith with the mom and I’d like to share more with the child as he keeps asking me questions about God.
Are there any good books or videos for kids who want to know more?
Lost…Thanks in advance for the help!


(Cameron Kufner) #2

Hi Tammy, I’m sorry about the loss of your loved one. If I could recommend any books it would be “Heaven Is For Real” by Colton and Todd Burpo, they do have a good kids version, but I thought the orginal book was just as kid friendly. Also, to help overcome unbelief there’s books called “God’s Crime Scene” & “Forensic Faith” by J. Warner Wallace, “The Case For Christ” by Lee Strobel, “The New Evidence That Demands A Verdict” & “More Than A Carpenter” by Josh McDowell. I believe those have kids versions as well! God bless!


(Andrea L) #3

Dear @Tammynaz, I think it’s an extremely difficult and delicate situation. First of all I I’d like to pray for wisdom and peace for you, and that the Holy Spirit would guide your heart and mouth, guiding you what to say and when.
Regarding the hole situation I feel like you are asking what to tell to the little boy, but you wouldn’t leave the mum out of your support either.
What I might help you with is sharing some about my experience, when our first son died and there was our 2.5 year old daughter asking about her little brother.
Our situation was different in a way, that we got saved during our almost year long battle about his life, so when he died we knew he’ll be with God. We told our daughter, that her little brother was so ill, that the medical doctors couldn’t heal him, so God brought him to Himself to heal him. We asked everyone - even if they didn’t believe in God - to give the same answer in order to create a kind of safety net around her by hearing the same answer from everyone. The situation you described is far more complex, God’s wisdom can help you and that little boy, and his mother through this.
Concerning the mother I can relate to her, although I admit my situation was quite different. Even though being already saved when our son died I was angry with God for a long time, why He didn’t heal our son. He could have but still didn’t. It took me more than a year to work myself through this phase and finally declare that I forgive God. Now it sounds quite silly :slight_smile: me as forgiving God, but I believe that Our Creator fully understood my frustration, and didn’t blame me, but waited patiently until I was ready to start my walk with Him.
What I found very helpful when mourning was when I just was let to speak and the other party just listened to me. It wasn’t even about that they would agree with me but just were there, not correcting my views about God but reassuring I can rely on them. They were there with me when I fell and there when I stood up. Happened a few times :slight_smile: They didn’t not pull me up but I could hang onto them when I was pulling myself up. It was my journey, it was about me and my relationship with God.
Asking questions sometimes might be a good alternative, it shows caring, comes with listening, makes the other party think and help them to find their own answers themselves. Answers they can handle at that time. Again, relying on the Holy Spirit is important.
The book that helped me (I got stuck in the grief process) was Verena Kast:
A Time to Mourn: Growing Through the Grief Process. It might not suit everyone! The way I work is that I’m ok when I know and understand what’s happening to me. But that’s me, and our then pastor who gave me the book said it’s not the majority. Although, it might be useful for you, only if you are keen and happy, to understand the steps of mourning. Pray before making a choice whether to read it or not, not an easy book and it - as I can remember - has nothing to do with God or the Bible at all, it’s a secular book, likely rather for professionals.
One of the verses I hung onto on my journey was Romans 8:28 “ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.” And I can testify, it’s true. God is good and wants the best for us, even if with our eyes sometimes it seems to be the worst what can happen.
I pray for you and for that family, that they’d open up their heart to God’s unconditional love you can present them.


(Tammy) #4

Thank you so much for all of the info that you shared with me. I will be taking your advice. Everything you have shared has and will be very helpful. God bless!