Homosexual love: how can love be sin?

Hello Friends!

Today I had a long conversation with a friend of mine and was able to share the Gospel with him. (Hallelujah!) He really is hungry for the truth, otherwise I couldn’t tell why we would walk and talk for multiple hours about topics like the evil in the human heart, sin, purpose, truth, forgiveness and salvation through Jesus Christ.

I already knew that he was an atheist not at last through the interview I did with him for the core module. In the conversation today he shared with me that he is a homosexual and that he was struggling with this all of his childhood. He always had to hide and suppress his feelings, and he feared telling anyone, not even his brother or parents. It wasn’t until he moved to Vienna to study that he was able to finally accept himself as he is and to tell his family about his sexual orientation. He also told me that he loves someone.

One of the struggles he has to believe in God is that he doesn’t get how it can be wrong to love someone of the same sex and how love can be wrong. I tried to answer very carefully, for this is really a question from his heart, and told him about characteristics of God - that He is good and that He loves us and cannot lie - and told him that God knows what is best for us, for He made us and knows best how we flourish, and that this kind of relationship is not a thing God intended for us.

I wanted to ask you all to pray for him, and if you know good resources concerning this question I would really appreciate it if you could share them with me.

God bless,


Hi Lukas,
that is so encouraging that you are reaching out to your friend and able to start to share the Gospel.

Sam Allberry, on the RZIM team has written the book ‘Is God anti-gay’, and I just watched this video message on the topic just now. I don’t know if it would be appropriate to share with him or just a resource for you. As I watched I just took a few quotes for myself and share them below.

Christianity is not about God rewarding good people, it’s about God forgiving bad people.

Culture tells us to look within for answers, to find your true self and celebrate it. The Bible says if you look deep into your heart, your not going to find the solution, your going to find the cause of your angst.

The Bible calls sin that we are tainted in every single area in our live; when it comes to our sexuality all of us are broken. All of us have desires that are disordered in one way or another; the sexual ethic he gives us puts constraints on all of us; my Christian faith shows me that no one is straight; we are all skewed in one direction or another.

Depending on your perspective it’s actually much better than that or much worse.

There is a great cost to following Jesus, but the paradox is it’s when we give our whole selves to Jesus is when we most flourish.

I also remember being moved by the message from Tim Makie ‘Jesus and sexual desire’ which is linked to in this thread.

I can’t suggest anything except to try and show him that actually everyone is a sinner, everyone is broken. The standard of perfection is so high, no-one can achieve it; maybe show the verses from the Sermon on the mount, where Jesus says “You have heard it said don’t commit adultury, but I say unto you if you lust after a woman it’s the same as adultery”; “You have heard it said don’t murder, but I say unto you, he that hates his brother is the same as murder”. All humanity is broken, fallen short of God’s standard of perfection and needs a Saviour. Maybe by coming along side and identifying that we are all sinners and point to Jesus.

I don’t know if that is helpful, I hope you will have more opportunities to share and build the friendship.


Hey, Lukas!
I would highly recommend David Bennett’s book, A War of Loves, which is David’s personal testimony of wrestling with some of those exact questions. Other good resources include Mark Yarhouse, Rosaria Butterfield, and Wesley Hill. Links are below. :slight_smile:

Mark Yarhouse – Sexual and Gender Identity Institute, Wheaton College




I think if you can get some insight on this issue from someone who actual struggles with same-sex attraction that is always better. The insider experience can help us understand what men who are attracted to other men have to go through. I have a close friend I went to seminary with, and who has committed himself to a life of chastity. We have had discussions about this, and I do not envy him the incredible trial that lies before him. But, he is a strong brother.

He writes openly about this, so I’m happy to share his blog, which will be another good resource for you on this question. He is also a good theologian, so he has a lot more to say than just on sexual issues.

There are other ways to love than the sexual. Still, the difficulty remains.

in Christ,


Hi Lukas! Thank you for posting this question from your friend’s heart to yours, and now to ours. It has generated some great feedback that I look forward to spending time going through.

1 Like

Brother Lukas
I have faced this as my aunt is homosexual.
Its is encouraging that he opened up to you.

Our job is to love those our fellow brother and sister even in their SIN. It’s the most difficult subject to speak to a person on their sexual orientation, now days with homosexuality and transgender although we must with love affirm the stance that Christ has not given us the directive of conforming to the world.
For we are in this world but not of this world.

I believe the best way to get to the root of his attraction to the same sex is being able to spend time in getting to know when this stemed and how did he get to knowing that this was his emotional stance. It wont be an easy talk although it will take time, patience and alot of prayer.

Specifically emphasizing God command in relation to how even in SIN Christ receives you.
One story always helps me is the story of the Prodigal Son.
The son could of been like any rebellious child and refused the conviction to go back home although he knew that even being a servant in his fathers house he would be better treated although in the case some would say when I get home my dad will never understand but our ABBA father does, he even doesnt wait for us to get to the door but runs to us on the horizon.

He needs to get more into the presence of our God, seek answers for himself through the pray of us as his brothers. Being able to give him the support of knowing we want you to see that where he is, is not God plan although it’s never too late.

Please let me know how it goes.
With much love.

1 Like

Thank you for sharing these resources with me! I immediately had to order the recommended book after watching the video of a talk of Sam Allberry titled “Are Christians Anit-Gay?” and the video you linked in your answer. I have to think and pray about if it is appropriate to share the video with him. I also really appreciated the podcast message of Tim Makie you linked.

I didn’t mention that during the conversation with my friend I asked him if he owns a Bible, for I recommended him to read through the Gospels. He told me that he owned no Bible and that he was afraid that it would confuse him, for now he is finally at a place where he can accept himself as he is. I don’t quite remember my answer. What would be a good answer? Anyway I bought a New Testament for him, but had no opportunity to give it to him yet.


Hello Kathleen, thank you for sharing these resources with me! :slightly_smiling_face:

Hey Anthony,

thank you for sharing your friends blog with me. I found a few blog post which have caught my interest - not only concerning this topic, and I am looking forward to read them.

God bless,