I have a pretty depraved view of what God is like/Who He is. Yes I’m seeking God and I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior(scripture Old Testament and New) In my perception of God I see Him as unwilling to do anything to help. This isn’t my view all the time but I have a lot of anger towards people who I realize love me. This includes God! I’ve never really been able to love them back the way I know I should. Selfishness. This isn’t a confession of my sin to all of You but rather a venting of thoughts, feelings and emotions. I’ve cried sometimes because despite all I’ve done wrong in the Name of The Lord I sense God still loves me and is there. I realize that it’s unmerited it doesn’t make sense.
Reckless Love, Amazing Grace! God’s pursuit of us! Thinking Towzer… I think I finally realize something… I could never repay God for what He’s done. It’s not works but relationship/communion with Him! Just praying it gets to my heart!! Praying for my mom and dad and brother. Save them!!! And other family members!
@Chad.Berry What a profound question I really like the quote by C. S. Lewis - “God does not love us because we are good, He makes us good because He loves us.” The love of God hopes all things, endures all things, believes all things - even for us broken creatures - and then restores us when we come to Him recognizing that we are blind, naked and poor without His love.
In this world where we are so often evaluated by our appearance or our outward righteous deeds or our performance, it is amazing to think that God Himself reaches out to clothe the wicked who humble themselves in His righteousness! What earthly king sacrifices his own life even for one of his own lowly soldiers - such a thing is unheard of… And yet our God sacrificed His life for His enemies. God is love - praise His name!!!
Matthew 5:43-48 - “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Thank You SeanO for the kind and truthful response! I’m starting to realize it’s my fallen nature that still thinks it has to earn love from God and those around me. My parents have loved us very much😢Me and my brother. I know their love isn’t quite like God’s but I still see the similarities even though they fall short. Or at least I think I do. It is really dependent on the Holy Spirit We need to become more dependent on God’s love and ways than man’s. Need to grasp more that those around me are going to fail and that God is really the only stable and secure place of rest, Love and peace/salvation. The things I long for in any relationship are really only found in God! This is the struggle of our hearts! I think of casting crowns song East to West. It goes I yearn for peace and rest standing before You as though I’ve never sinned and I feel as though I’m one mistake away from You leaving me this way JESUS CAN YOU SHOW ME JUST HOW FAR THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST. That’s my battle it’s not so much my parents or those around me but the constant reminder of remaining sin!! I still see myself as guilty and feel/sense guilty Pray!!!
I also realize now though that God has given us His promise of salvation. Hallelujah. There is a day coming. O Glorious Day! Another casting crowns reference
Hi Chad, the thing about us as human beings is that our feelings are fickle. They can change in an instant depending on our current circumstances. I can be over-the-top happy and boom - someone “offends” me and my mood instantly changes. God is not like that. God never changes and His love for us will never fail. As you continue in daily prayer and study of the Scripture, your heart and mind will be renewed. I prayed for you that God would reveal Himself to you in greater clarity and that you would be drawn closer to Him. Keep seeking Him! Blessings!
I wonder why you sometimes have a lot of anger towards people who love you. Including God. I wonder also what you are condemning yourself for, what it is you “have done wrong in the name of the Lord”. There is no need for you to explain it here but I say this because I am concerned for you and long for you to receive the love and forgiveness that is so readily available to you through what Jesus Christ achieved on the cross for us. Forgiveness is a powerful thing – not only to receive forgiveness through Jesus Christ, but to forgive yourself. And then you are able to forgive others – it’s not easy – but it’s essential for health and well-being and peaceful relationships. With your friends and family as well as with God!
As Paul says in Romans 3:21-23 everyone sins and falls short of the glory of God but the righteousness of God is revealed, through faith in Jesus Christ, TO ALL and ON ALL who believe ! I fell WAY short as a young woman – so short in one instance I considered it unforgivable. Around the time it happened I had so much guilt and condemnation it affected me to my core, and as a result affected all those around me too. Love is an airy-fairy meaningless word, when one is consumed with intense dislike for oneself, when one is unable to forgive oneself, never mind forgive anyone else - if we feel we are unworthy of love, then it is ridiculous to think that someone else – and especially God - might love us (especially because we know what we have done).
Echoing what Casting Crowns says in that song I love what Psalm 103 says. Firstly in verses 1-5 there are some very powerful reminders to focus on – the benefits of believing in Him: He FORGIVES ALL our iniquities, HEALS ALL our diseases; REDEEMS our lives from destruction; crowns us with LOVINGKINDNESS and TENDER MERCIES…
Psalm 103 goes on in verses 11-12 to say that “For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us”.
That is a God who loves you – who has done the ultimate to make a way for you – who has forgiven you. It’s a promise directly from Him to you. Choose to believe it – that it’s for YOU. God says in Jeremiah 29 11-13 that when we call on Him and go and pray to Him He will listen (another promise); that we will seek Him and FIND Him when we search for Him with all our heart! When I felt so condemned I struggled to believe that these promises were for me, but I made the choice to believe that God was speaking to ME through His word. It took a while, a lot of prayer, and a lot of reminding myself that what I had truly repented of, God remembered it no more (Hebrews 8:12) and eventually I was able to forgive myself and receive forgiveness from our Father. It doesn’t mean that I still don’t feel guilt or shame, but I know I am forgiven and I thank God His loving kindness and tender mercies are new every day (Lamentations 3:23).
I pray that you will find the scriptures and verses that have meaning and impact for you. I pray that you trust His word as truth – that the Holy Spirit guides you and reveals it to you. I pray also for your parents and your brother to be impacted by your life. Jesus is our example in everything.