Isaiah 43:1 ’ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine ’
We were Buddhist. My grandparents… such calm and gentle people from India. My brother was 10. He was in advanced classes. He would look out into the stars every night. I would watch him from my window. One night I snuck out to be with him and his ponderings. He took off his shirt to cover me because it was a little cold, and held me while pointing to so many stars and naming the constellations; I still remember them. But what I remember mostly is what he said. I never forgot one word, even much I have forgotten. He said, " there is something so much bigger than all of us and our smarts out there! Something so perfect that our math is too slow to know anything of this. We are just like dirt to know nothing at all. ’
The next night, we all got dressed to go to ’ church.’ Neither my sister, brother, nor I knew what that meant. In retrospect, I think our grandparents had come to Christ. It had been, for a while, some things had started changing in our lifes. It was no matter. We did not make it. An intoxicated man, about about my age now, ran a red light and jumped the median. Only my sister and I survived. I had to relearn all again. It took a year. I was still a bit slow regaining all of my ability. I was raised in the foster system after that with the exception living a short time with my birth parents. (they were not good people) Some homes are good, some bad, and some you would rather be in hell. Foster’s don’t usually stay long enough, in even one home, to know who we are anymore. If it got too bad, I ran away… you see.
I ran from a very bad home. There is a movie called ’ The Matrix’ where they follow the white rabbit to learn the truth. Intrestingly, when you are a foster, or a runaway, we know to follow ’ a different symbol. ’ Truck drivers, in our Lord, have it on their back wheel flaps. It’s a message for runaway children, or runaway adults, that they are against sexual trafficking and they are safe and won’t hurt us. ’ regardless if we know the Lord, we know they will not bring us to harm.’
That is where I found my ride to a mountian town. Not all of the other’s I lived with were above board. But the truck driver’s wife and her church group brought us food, tylenol, tiny bibles, and basic first aid. I never read one of the bibles. Some of the other’s used the pages to roll tobacco or weed. If I had only known then… We lived in this abandon home in the middle of the city. No one cared we were there. I was 13. I bought a one dollar tennis racket at the Good Will so I could get into the city recreation and get a free shower every day. I looked middle class so a nice shower and grooming was avalable. ( with the tennis racket ) I found things in the trash and upgraded them and sold them for a little pocket change. I never sold drugs, used drugs or alcohol, stole, or prostituted. My Lord steered me from these things, even I didn’t know Him: He knew me.
One day I was picking up supplies from the church ladies, and a man grabbed me. He didn’t identify himself. He smelled really bad so I thought he was a crack addict and meant to hurt me… But long story short, we all were arrested. And I for resisting arrest and assaulting an officer since he was an undercover officer doing something else …other than us.
If it were not for the kind ladies from the chruch who came to court witnessing on my behalf that i had done nothing wrong except try to protect myself ; things would be much different for me.
This is how I ended up with my foster mom. No one would take me after that. But she did, and while on house arrest, I started going to church. Not because I wanted to be saved, but because I was bored. It was not long after that tug on my heart began. I started reading my Lords words, and His Father’s learning they are the same words. I would take the scripture in my room and stay up all night reading my Lord. I could not escape His words from even the man who preached. I talked to him many times, and fell on my knees explaining… I am not a good person., and have no place in His church or in the Lords house. I am nobody, but a foster kid with only a temporary home at best. I didn’t even trust Lisa then, to not throw me away.
He shared with me about a man named Simon He read the story of Simon Peter to me. Luke 5:8 ’ But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying depart from me, for I am a sinful man.’ I felt understood because I’m far from good. I read all week how our Lord took in anyone who believed in Him, and people just like me, and maybe you. I gave my life to my Lord the next Sunday. I could not stay away from His arms and love any longer.
I had no idea, in less than a year, after coming to Christ, and yeilding to him, I would start having seizures, and brain anyurisms. Residual from the car accident. Everything was perfect. I was varsity soccar and cheer, but it all stopped, and suddenly, I was dying.
I am still dying. But after all the surgeries, and rehabilitations, and relearning the impossible, I am recovering, and it is not today. And we are so fortunate ! Philippians 1:21 ‘for me, to live is Christ, to die is gain.’
A boy I witnessed too from high school once told me, ‘see what happened when you gave you life to God? Now you have crutch?’ I said, ’ no… now I have wings!’ I did not have an answer, but the Holy Spirit was so kind to give words to me as He does now. This boy gave his life to Jesus 4 months ago. We are learning together now in many ways.
And I am learning with all of you every day. After the core module, my most wonderful moderator Ms. Deborah suggested to visit here on connect. I came to connect thinking… maybe the Lord will give me a word or I can offer a word? And I came to Connect finding more than a word, more than an explanation, and more than what I can offer. I found a community, a church, and a family in Christ.
If you have been here a long time, or just joining… don’t be afraid to share our Lord. This is not the place where you need to build a wall or where you are afraid of rejection. Just trust the truth our Lord gave you and share it with all of us… And even it feels a bit like you are a tiger to do it sometimes, just relax your guard, and trust our Lord. You are home here.
Isaiah 43… ’ do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name.’ Welcome home my sisters and brothers in our Lord. !