' I have called you by name: You are mine.'

Isaiah 43:1 ’ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine ’

We were Buddhist. My grandparents… such calm and gentle people from India. My brother was 10. He was in advanced classes. He would look out into the stars every night. I would watch him from my window. One night I snuck out to be with him and his ponderings. He took off his shirt to cover me because it was a little cold, and held me while pointing to so many stars and naming the constellations; I still remember them. But what I remember mostly is what he said. I never forgot one word, even much I have forgotten. He said, " there is something so much bigger than all of us and our smarts out there! Something so perfect that our math is too slow to know anything of this. We are just like dirt to know nothing at all. ’

The next night, we all got dressed to go to ’ church.’ Neither my sister, brother, nor I knew what that meant. In retrospect, I think our grandparents had come to Christ. It had been, for a while, some things had started changing in our lifes. It was no matter. We did not make it. An intoxicated man, about about my age now, ran a red light and jumped the median. Only my sister and I survived. I had to relearn all again. It took a year. I was still a bit slow regaining all of my ability. I was raised in the foster system after that with the exception living a short time with my birth parents. (they were not good people) Some homes are good, some bad, and some you would rather be in hell. Foster’s don’t usually stay long enough, in even one home, to know who we are anymore. If it got too bad, I ran away… you see.

I ran from a very bad home. There is a movie called ’ The Matrix’ where they follow the white rabbit to learn the truth. Intrestingly, when you are a foster, or a runaway, we know to follow ’ a different symbol. ’ Truck drivers, in our Lord, have it on their back wheel flaps. It’s a message for runaway children, or runaway adults, that they are against sexual trafficking and they are safe and won’t hurt us. ’ regardless if we know the Lord, we know they will not bring us to harm.’

That is where I found my ride to a mountian town. Not all of the other’s I lived with were above board. But the truck driver’s wife and her church group brought us food, tylenol, tiny bibles, and basic first aid. I never read one of the bibles. Some of the other’s used the pages to roll tobacco or weed. If I had only known then… We lived in this abandon home in the middle of the city. No one cared we were there. I was 13. I bought a one dollar tennis racket at the Good Will so I could get into the city recreation and get a free shower every day. I looked middle class so a nice shower and grooming was avalable. ( with the tennis racket ) I found things in the trash and upgraded them and sold them for a little pocket change. I never sold drugs, used drugs or alcohol, stole, or prostituted. My Lord steered me from these things, even I didn’t know Him: He knew me.

One day I was picking up supplies from the church ladies, and a man grabbed me. He didn’t identify himself. He smelled really bad so I thought he was a crack addict and meant to hurt me… But long story short, we all were arrested. And I for resisting arrest and assaulting an officer since he was an undercover officer doing something else …other than us.

If it were not for the kind ladies from the chruch who came to court witnessing on my behalf that i had done nothing wrong except try to protect myself ; things would be much different for me.

This is how I ended up with my foster mom. No one would take me after that. But she did, and while on house arrest, I started going to church. Not because I wanted to be saved, but because I was bored. It was not long after that tug on my heart began. I started reading my Lords words, and His Father’s learning they are the same words. I would take the scripture in my room and stay up all night reading my Lord. I could not escape His words from even the man who preached. I talked to him many times, and fell on my knees explaining… I am not a good person., and have no place in His church or in the Lords house. I am nobody, but a foster kid with only a temporary home at best. I didn’t even trust Lisa then, to not throw me away.

He shared with me about a man named Simon He read the story of Simon Peter to me. Luke 5:8 ’ But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying depart from me, for I am a sinful man.’ I felt understood because I’m far from good. I read all week how our Lord took in anyone who believed in Him, and people just like me, and maybe you. I gave my life to my Lord the next Sunday. I could not stay away from His arms and love any longer.

I had no idea, in less than a year, after coming to Christ, and yeilding to him, I would start having seizures, and brain anyurisms. Residual from the car accident. Everything was perfect. I was varsity soccar and cheer, but it all stopped, and suddenly, I was dying.

I am still dying. But after all the surgeries, and rehabilitations, and relearning the impossible, I am recovering, and it is not today. And we are so fortunate ! Philippians 1:21 ‘for me, to live is Christ, to die is gain.’

A boy I witnessed too from high school once told me, ‘see what happened when you gave you life to God? Now you have crutch?’ I said, ’ no… now I have wings!’ I did not have an answer, but the Holy Spirit was so kind to give words to me as He does now. This boy gave his life to Jesus 4 months ago. We are learning together now in many ways.

And I am learning with all of you every day. After the core module, my most wonderful moderator Ms. Deborah suggested to visit here on connect. I came to connect thinking… maybe the Lord will give me a word or I can offer a word? And I came to Connect finding more than a word, more than an explanation, and more than what I can offer. I found a community, a church, and a family in Christ.

If you have been here a long time, or just joining… don’t be afraid to share our Lord. This is not the place where you need to build a wall or where you are afraid of rejection. Just trust the truth our Lord gave you and share it with all of us… And even it feels a bit like you are a tiger to do it sometimes, just relax your guard, and trust our Lord. You are home here.

Isaiah 43… ’ do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name.’ Welcome home my sisters and brothers in our Lord. !

Blessings,
~Sanah~

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Dearest Sanah
Did you write all of this for me because it answered so many questions about you that I longed to know but was afraid to ask you? This is a testimony that will touch every heart that reads it.

Sanah, you are a new creation. Brand new and though this outer nature is wasting away, your inner nature is being renewed every day. You are my hero. I am so very proud of you and, except for the fact that you are my sister in Jesus (or by our age difference, you are my daughter in Jesus), we aren’t even related. But I am so very proud of you that you heeded the call of Truth that the Holy Spirit whispered in your ear.

I cannot envision you to ever be an outcast, because here at Connect, you are one of the most loved and cherished people in Connect. Jesus has redeemed your time in hell and has put you in fellowship with many you love you to death. Sorry, that’s a little overboard!!!

Sanah, I love you and I could speak for Carrie and so many others. Jesus beams through you like a lighthouse beacon! Keep loving Jesus. Keep going, even when your body gives out.

Would you please listen to this message from a dear woman that I knew that spoke at a missions conference in '87. Her name is Dr Helen Roseveare. She speaks of what you spoke of as being a tiger in the Lord. It is a half hour. Here is the link:

https://s3.amazonaws.com/urbana.org/general_session_audio/urbana-87-helen.roseveare-motivation.for.world.missions.mp3

Also, I loved your post of Isaiah 43:1. Remember verses 2 & 3 which say, “When you pass through the waters I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.”

I love the chapter that you chose. I am so thankful that we both know and love Jesus. It is a genuine miracle. Keep loving our Jesus!!!

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@sanahdalah15 Praise the Lord for His work in your life! I like the way you put it—Christianity is not a crutch; it gives us wings. We are new creations in Christ with an inheritance that is incorruptible, undefiled, and unfading that goes beyond the grave and is hidden in Christ. Nothing can separate us from His love :slight_smile:

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Hello my friend, companion, and co-laborer in His work. It is so good to hear your words.
My oh my what beauty I have beheld of Gods mercy and goodness. What depth of feeling, empathy as I read your story full of life, heartache, and hope. Falling in love with Jesus brings a deep commitment to His call to share that love with everyone and that’s what I see that happened here. And if I may, you fell head over heels in love with Him

.[quote=“sanahdalah15, post:1, topic:29559”]
I started reading my Lords words, and His Father’ learning they are the same words. I would take them in my room and stay up all night reading my Lord. I could not escape His words from even the man who preached. I talked to him many times, and fell on my knees explaining… I am not a good person., and have no place in His church. I am nobody, but a foster kid with only a temporary home at best. I didn’t even trust Lisa then, to not throw me away.

He shared with me a man named Simon He read the story of Simon Peter to me. Luke 5:8 ’ But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying depart from me, for I am a sinful man.’ I felt understood I that am far from good. I read all week how our Lord took in everyone, just like me, and probably you. I gave my life to my Lord the next Sunday.
[/quote]

That unconditional love He gave you now given freely to all that you meet. I am honored to know you and I agree that you are truly loved here on Connect.

If I could place a definition or meaning to your name it would be,
Sanah ; A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver.
Proverbs 25:11 NKJV
Blessings in the name of the Lord my dearest Sanah.
Love and prayers
Mike

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Sanah, what a beautiful picture you painted of that precious memory of your brother. The love you shared has to be a treasure that you store in your heart always. I am so glad that you have it.

And what a great comeback to the “crutch” comment we could all use! We now have wings! I am so glad that boy came to Christ. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open. Love you girl! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Sanah,

Your post is the first I’ve read on RZIM Connect in a few months. My 91 year old mother had a hip replacement and I’ve been so busy taking care of her and my full time job. Now I am not able to visit her as her facility is on lockdown due to the pandemic. And it occurred to me, I now have time to engage with the Connect community again.

What a wonderful and uplifting testimony to read after my absence. What a blessing your are to all of us.

There was a time in my life when I forgot who I belonged to and I was so ashamed I hid from God. But he came after me and told me He loved me. And now I forever know whose I am. “I have called you by name. You are mine.” Knowing this, and I mean KNOWING this makes all the difference. Thank you for reminding us to whom we belong. Thank you for being a tiger!

Jen

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You know, alcohol is a crutch, drugs are a crutch, binge eating, binge entertainment and binge sex are all crutches, amassing wealth, the pursuit of pleasure - there are many crutches in this world.

But Jesus? He’s the Carpenter who put crutch making out of business. He was never anybody’s crutch - He was always the Cure!

I loved your “wings” thing - you’re a poet, Sanah!

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Dearest Sanah, what an amazing journey of valleys and mountains you have been on, and our Lord Jesus has been right there walking with you. Thank you for sharing your story with us. The Lord made a beautiful vessel when He made you. I think I shared this verse with you before from Song of Songs 8:5 “who is this coming up from the wilderness leaning upon her Beloved?” You have been leaning on Christ, and He will never let you fall. I also want to say I was really touched by your memory with your brother. What a sweet big brother. I cannot believe what wisdom he was given at just ten years old! I see now where your high intelligence comes from. I’ve told in the past the little I know about your story to my sisters, and you should see how touched they were by it. Your are blessed, and Lisa is blessed to have you. “Many waters cannot quench love, nor can the floods drown it.” (SS 8:7) I send you much affection in our Lord. Though I’ve never met you, you have touched my heart.

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I don’t want to seem as though I have to have the last word. (In fact, I hope that are 500 more posts.) Sanah, I echo what everyone is writing. You are a special ray of sunshine. And what you came through to come to this place of loving Jesus is truly humbling. You ae my hero! Keep looking to Jesus as you have. You’ve touched so many people!

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Thank you for sharing this @sanahdalah15 :pray:t3: It is a blessing to hear the story behind such a beautiful heart :heart: I loved what you said here

So beautiful, so true! You are an inspiration, keep inspiring us Sanah :pray:t3:

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Hey Sanah! What you have shared is going to be something I reflect on all night, I think! What instantly comes to mind is God’s love for you…NOTHING can separate you from the love of Christ. Your whole life sings of this very fact. There seems to be wave after wave of God’s hand drawing you closer to him. All creation sings of God’s glory and you are part of that creation. Your testimony is a powerful witness of God’s unending love and mercy. Thank you for sharing.

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Dear Sanah! It is such a pleasure to meet you and a true joy to read your story. :raising_hand_woman: Every reader who reads your posts can experience the love you have for Christ in every word and syllable you write! :pencil2: So inspired by you, please keep writing! :computer:

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@sanahdalah15, what a beautiful testimony! This made me pause and reflect on how the Lord loves us and shows us so much grace. Thank you so much for sharing :slight_smile:

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From the very 1st words you inspire with your writing. Your story is beautiful and very easy to read. God bless your journey.

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Thank you Mr. Tim.

I hope to rejoin our prayer group very soon! I am just getting the internet back!

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Yes sir, and thank you always you reply and look after us.

I agree with you completely! Romans 8:31 ’ What shall we say as such wonderful things such as these? If God is for us? Who can ever be against us? ’

Yes sir! Did you ever hit the nail on the head.

Blessings’
~Sanah~

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Dear Mr Mike,

You will look after me as a father. You are like Mr. Tim to be as a father I never knew. And how am I to respond to all of your good words in our Lord that I do not deserve.

Always I sit here staring at my screen stunned by all of my friends here on connect. But more so the few, like you and others on our artist post… to us we have become as a family, and I want all of us here on connect to be as large as we are small.

You are such a good man.

Thank you for your kindness always. I look forward to your words.

~Blessings~
~Sanah~

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Dear mr Tim,

You know you have my heart as we talk often!

I just have my internet back so you must be tired of me now my father. And yes! You can walk me down the ile in your wheelchair when I formally can marry my beloved, Matt. I have my walking cane! So will we be quite the pair! :laughing:

Blessings always Mr. Tim
~Sanah~

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Thank you Ms. Carrie,

Even you know I am fading over a short time, you have allowed me to meet your family personally, and I can say, with all of my heart, I have never met a family like yours.

I have friends who stick with me, closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

But I am just getting to know you and your family.

I wish every one here on connect could see all of your children and their kindness:

I am nobody, but your family takes me in as if I am sombody, just like our Lord.

Blessings,
~Sanah~

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Dear Ms. Jennifer,

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I apologize for my late reply in all of this chaos, but your words touched my heart so deeply. I just wanted to say thank you.

I hope your grandmother did very well. You are quite the caregiver! And may our Lord bless you for the care you give that no one sees, except Jesus. And our Lord sees every kindness, even we do not.

You are a blessing Ms. Jennifer.

Blessings,
~Sanah~~~

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