Introduction: Don L

Hello, we are in Winnipeg, MB Canada.

we have enjoyed the ministry of RZIM for a couple years, but just came across this Connect connection…

We lost our daughter, Erin, 32, in a horrific motorcycle accident a few weeks ago, at the end of August. We had been planning to move to BC this winter to be where she lived, (since now we are both retired). -but now- we are uncertain of what we want to do

to be honest, right now we are unsure how we hope to participate… We are believers, and know that Erin is in Heaven, but everything feels raw, and such a Disappointment and LOSS. However, I do want to say at a time like this, we DO NOT want to hear platitudes or “just Trust, everything will be ok” That kind of insensitivity to our very real raw pain and grief is unwelcome and hurtful !
We will be here to share with others who are experiencing grief


Welcome @lewisdc43 to this platform!

I do not think you will have many platitudes here - so no need to worry about that. As a person who has gone through some pretty shattering experiences myself, I understand exactly what you mean. Some things are real only to the person who has gone through them and those who have had similar experiences. However, our Lord does not let any experience go to waste and it is my hope that you will be able to help those who are hurting - and there are many who are, from different kinds of experiences.

May the Lord guide you in your decision to move - praying.


Thank you, @tonyabthomas


So glad to meet you, @lewisdc43 - but so very sorry for your loss.

My wife of 40 years, the only woman I ever loved, died unexpectedly on an operating table 19 months ago. I’d say that “raw” is a good word to describe the emotional state in the aftermath of such a sorrow!

May God give you the grace you need for this difficult part of your journey.


Welcome to connect @lewisdc43. Sorry to hear about your loss. I cannot imagine. We are glad that you came across this forum. I hope that the connections here are a blessing to you. Your are a blessing to this site. God-bless you and your journey and may the peace of Christ be with you.


I’m sorry for your loss too. That must have been very difficult for you.

May I ask… where are you in your emotional journey these days?


Well, I am past the initial shock - but not the missing.

And in truth, I don’t want to be past the missing.

I want the good things she set in motion to continue - in my life, in our family, in our church. As long as I can see things she did continuing to have an impact, then I can see the significance of her life still being felt in the world she left behind. And, of course, four children and five grandchildren will continue making an impact far beyond what I can see!

God poured so much into me through her for 40 years - and I want my life to continue along the trajectory that we were pursuing together. I want all the improvements she brought into my life to be sealed in my heart - permanent changes, not passing impressions. I think that’s what the Shulamite was meaning in Song of Songs 8:6 - Set me as a seal upon thine heart.

I think that’s the best thing I can do to honor her life - follow through on the changes she was helping me to make - become the better man she was helping me grow into.

Death may be strong, but the Shulamite was right - love is strong as death. Love alone can match it.