Yes it is quite strange when we see people who should seem to be in agreement about their worldview have differing opinions and therefore it makes it hard to engage them in discussion because they don’t even agree with each other. I have found Abdu Murray’s book Saving Truth an excellent resource in helping me understand why that happens and how to engage in a more accurate way because he gets to the heart at what the real issue; Truth.
The various groups you mention seem to be championing the freedom to engage in those activities but what they truly want is autonomy, the right to decide for themselves what is right and wrong. Because of that no two people want the exact same thing, even when they fall into a certain subset of groups, like homosexual, transgender, etc. So instead of engaging them in the particular topics, such as is that behavior right or wrong, Abdu teaches us to get the heart of the issue and points out that there must be an objective source outside of ourselves to answer the questions for us. In Saving Truth he shows how a lack of truth causes chaos and confusion which is evident in our culture today and in your example and how following truth brings clarity and meaning to life.
In the book there is a chapter on Clarity about Sexuality, Gender, and Identity, but before you get that you have learned clarity about freedom and human dignity. He also points out how even in the church we have been captivated by this post-truth mindset, which simply means we let our feelings and opinions trump what we know to be true. In all of these issues He always points them back to the person of Jesus who is the truth and the only way to have clarity about any of these questions.
Before reading the book I had began to realize that instead of engaging in the question I should stop the conversation and say you are asking the wrong question. It’s not whether it’s right or wrong but who decides. This book is helping me to articulate that with greater clarity and much more compassion. His love for people with identity struggles is clear and his desire for them to find truth is genuine and presenting the truth with gentleness and respect is just as important as the truth itself.
Abdu says in his book, “Fair or not, people judge the credibility of a message by the integrity of the messenger. If the gospel message of compassion, forgiveness, and reconciliation is proclaimed by those who seem to have none of those qualities, it’s hard to see how the broader culture’s response can be anything but concomitant dismay and anger.”
Jennifer shared some great resources. I hope you find it all helpful. I will pray that God will show you just what it is he is trying to teach you so you can use it to share the gospel message with the people you ministering to. I’m excited to hear of Christians who have a heart for people that are often overlooked by the church and as you said, tend to avoid or bury the issue instead of seeing people in need of salvation. I pray God will use you in a very special way!