Issues with Anxiety & Fear

(Luna) #1

I have social anxiety and possibly PTSD from childhood abuse. There are times that I’ve tried medication and it doesn’t seem to work. I honestly don’t want to be on meds but if they could help me I would keep an open mind. Things are really hard because social anxiety keeps me from building connections with people and also keeps me from leaving my home.

I feel scared all the time and always on edge. It gets exhausting living this way and its very draining. There are times I look outside my window and wish I could just go on a walk while the sun is shinning. But my fears won’t let me. I wish I could work and be independent like other adults but I can’t get control over the fear. I’ve read scripture, tried fasting, and I’m in counselling.

I feel like none of it is working and maybe I’m just stuck this way.

(John Jensen) #2

I am so sorry that you have such a hard struggle with your fear! I had struggles in my 20s and tried a lot of different things to become accepted (in my mind) to the outside world. I sometimes even tried to force myself into social situations and had some big failures. I finally did find a great counselor (mentor) who worked with me for 2 years to help me define my fears and slowly “come out of my shell”. My counselor helped me to identify my psychological abuse and she was able to help me see my true value and identity. She gave me a lot of confidence. My counseling began in the secular world. As I did more investigating, my faith in Christ grew to where I saw God as my true father as opposed to the men that had influence in my life. My life changed dramatically and I am now married for 26 years and thank God for the path He has shown me.
The hard part was learning to trust, and put things in God’s hands that I had no control over as well as understanding the difference of what I could and could not control. Still very tricky for me at times!
I pray that you have an excellent counselor and you find some great success overcoming this. I read this link not long ago, and it may or may not be helpful, but maybe you can have a look.
I pray for you and hope you get to walk in the sunshine more and more!

(Sara Isaac) #3

Hey Luna! First of all I admire that you are brave enough to share this with us! I have been in a dark place myself a couple of years ago and wouldn’t dare at the time to tell anyone what was going on.
I think you must have come a long way since the beginning of your healing journey. I am sure you are not standing still even if it feels so.
I’ve read in one of your posts that you are good in one on one relationships. That’s great! Keep it going. Let that one friend introduce to another one. Keep it small until you are comfortable.
You’ve mentioned that people don’t get you when you start talking about apologetics. I think that your interest in apologetics is pretty cool. Here you are, on a platform where all of us believe in the importance of apologetics. I believe that God can use you powerfully to deliever that vision you have in your heart to the people.
Let me know, how do you think God is or would be using you?

(Luna) #4

Well God has used me in the past with teens for some odd reason (odd because I’m not fond of teenagers lolol). But I would talk to them about life and struggles growing up and how it relates to our faith. How he’s using me now I’m not so sure. I don’t really talk to those teens any more since they all are growing up and going to college.

Most Christians I talk to are really into Christian pacifism which I disagree with since you can’t disagree with anyone else without it seeming like an attack. That in of itself makes it impossible to have dialog that I enjoy most times. lol

(Sara Isaac) #5

That’s so wonderful Luna. I guess it’d be nice to check on them and see how they turned out.

Oh I so can relate to this! I guess people need to feel that love is the first premise in any argument to engage in it. Might be hard, but it’d be worth it in the end.

(Luna) #6

Yeah but the even then if you’re not loving someone the way they believe you should be loving them it can still conflict unfortunately. I wish most understood love in the way that its shown in the Bible. Telling someone the truth was love and sometimes telling the truth means you have to disagree with someone. Its weird cause I wonder how can they possibly agree with everyone and not come into conflict with someone for agreeing with others. lol

(Sieglinde) #7

Bless your heart. I can feel how desperate you are to overcome. I came from an extremely dysfunctional household. My anxiety came from feeling inadequate around everyone. Like they knew what was going on in my home and I was always ashamed. This made me very anxious around people. Is this how you feel?
If so, I can tell you that no, you are not “stuck that way.” It does take a while in your journey with Christ but He will become your father, advisor, friend etc. With Christ, you will overcome.
As far as medication goes, I am like you, I don’t like it but my sister takes Lexapro and it works very well for her. Finding the right meds. can take a while because you may have to try several but that is for the professionals to help you with.
Baby steps sweetheart. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Do your best not to “overthink” it. Continue your counseling, prayers, scripture etc. And know that since you have reached out you will be in our prayers.
Keep us posted on your journey and don’t give up!
Phillipians 4:6-9— I will start saying it with you! Let’s say it every day this week.
I wish I could give you a big, warm hug :hugs:
Much love❤️

(Kathleen) #8

Hey, @Luna! I’ve been thinking about you lately and praying. Can I ask what kind of counselling you have received? I’m currently training in theology and counselling, so I am a shameless proponent of people investing in a (good) counsellor/psychotherapist, if it can be done. :slightly_smiling_face:

(Luna) #9

It’s Christian counseling.

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(Kathleen) #10

Gotcha. I’m not knocking Christian counselling, but, based on what you’ve said about childhood abuse, I would strongly encourage you to find a psychotherapist (literally, a ‘soul healer’) who specialises in trauma. Certain modes of counselling can only take you so far. As you’ve no doubt experienced, trauma of any kind (but esp. that which we experience in childhood) has massive ramifications on our adult lives…oftentimes in places we would never expect. I’m guessing that you’ll find that your social anxiety is just one presentation of your past traumas.

It sounds like life has been a difficult battle for you. Praying that you can find healing. Love to you, dear sister. :slight_smile:

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(Luna) #11

I’m on a waiting list to see people who can diagnosis me. Its scary but its a start I guess. Thanks for the prayers :slight_smile:

(Kathleen) #12

Also keep in mind that you may not need a ‘diagnosis’ as such. You may just need someone to help you ‘come to terms’ with or unpick what’s happened. Obviously, I can’t say for certain, but I just wanted you to know that there may be some other avenues. :slight_smile:

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