@sritson. Hi Stuart! It helps me to remember how undefinable it is that GOD loves me so. Perhaps in my own heart, I resent the paths that have brought me to this day, however, the Word of GOD is true. He is greater than the condemnation from my heart.
When I am willing to forgive and embrace others He reminds me, often, that whatever I may feel about myself, I need to understand that He loves me? That it can be an affront to His love for me that I am unwilling to extend that same love to myself.
My past is a part of the witness and testimony of how GOD has rescued me. Those ways and that living has been transformed into badges of honor. My human errors today serve as cautionary hints that help me realign my walk before GOD.
I think we will never be a finished product so long as we live in these bodies on this Earth. But that is the point of redemption it is an on-going process. I must be patient with myself at least somewhat as GOD continues to be.
Sometimes there are triggers from my past that I have learned to remove from my circle of influence. I have had to learn this practice. Ultimately learning most succinctly after suffering the sense of separation such behavior and triggers bring to my soul. I have learned some things are not worth it. Not because the people or circumstances come with their own curse, but rather I am learning what it means to protect my valuables. So, my caution is not about my past but about my hope for the future.
You are already saying the magic words. “I want to grow beyond this!” Time will not allow me to tell you of all the ways and things the Lord has matured me away from. I continue to learn how to let His mind be in me. The learning has been difficult sometimes because of the need to be renewed in my own mind. But the journey is so worth the discomfort and the joys are so complete with each lesson, and the growth so amazing.
Remember never let anything separate you from the Love of GOD. Ask Him daily what that looks like and how to live that commission. I don’t have a formula for you because you are not formalized into salvation. You are GOD’s and you can trust Him to do good work in you.