My Question: Comfort through Grief

Hi everyone,

How do you bring a person who’s suffering and grieving (and even angry) from a loss of a loved one (like a mom losing a child) to the hope of having Christ in their lives?

I’m looking forward to learn from you from your own experiences, and any Bible verses you can share that can also help others. Thank you!

5 Likes

@seasonswithmsjm,
I don’t have answers as I have never experienced a loss.
Although my wife did have a miscarriage which is not the same
I have dear close friends that have had their son pass away. They were never angry nor upset with God. They put their hope and trust in the Lord that one day they will be reunited with their child.
I know I have questions myself like why Lord?
No answer except that my hope and faith is in the Lord not in man.

3 Likes

I’m sorry @seasonswithmsjm, but I, too, have not had someone close to me pass away, much less a non-believer. I have, however, experienced the grieving of others (believers and non-believers) through my work at a local hospital and, recently through the deaths of two young women and the mother of a close friend in my personal circle. I do not have any definitive answers but what I have learned and am learning is first and foremost to be with the person who is grieving. It is uncomfortable for most of us not to talk, but sometimes just sitting with the person as they cry is enough. Letting them know that they are not alone and they have your full attention can be powerful. I recently asked whether I could pray for a non-Christian colleague and her family member who is very ill and not expected to live.
My colleague was so grateful.

On the other hand I recently listened to an interview on Premier Christian radio where the person being interviewed had lost his wife and was admonishing listeners that saying “there are no words” is unhelpful and essentially a cop-out. The brief snippet is here.

I think that no matter what you do, be present with the grieving individual. Be patient with them. Grieving takes time. By loving them through their grief you will be “Jesus with skin on” as the saying goes. Be attentive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as to what to say and when. The grieving person may reach out to you and then you can share the reason for the hope that you have. Remember that God is big enough to handle our anger.

May God grant you wisdom and encourage you as you journey together with the people in your life who suffer through grief.

4 Likes

Thank you for this Charles.

3 Likes

This is very helpful, Tara. Thanks for the resource. Will watch it.

2 Likes

I hope you find it helpful. There is a longer, more complete interview out there. The link I gave you is for a short snippet. If you want to watch the whole interview and you have trouble finding it let me know and I will post the link.

In Him

3 Likes

Sometimes when we have our friends in difficult times, saying nothing but being with them speaks to them of Christ’s love the best. Be sensitive to Spirit’s promptings as He will open up opportunities for conversation, with gentleness and respect.

5 Likes

Just like the others said: be there. Just listen.
What I think is important (personal experience of losing a child, then a miscarriage) that this is not the time for corrections of their theology or beliefs. It’s a unique journey for everyone - even for the two parents of the child. If they are angry with God - let them be, it’s part of the process (likely not for everyone), I’m sure God can handle it :slight_smile: and can understand it. They’ll step into the next phase sooner or later. Let them discover their answers through being led by God at their pace.
As time went by God revealed more and more to me - always careful how much I am able to handle. It was a bit more than 10 years to get my final answer - and it would have crushed even killed me if I get to know it at the very beginning.
What might be useful though in case the parents seem to lose the harmony between them (being more frustrated with each other, having issues) is to remind them that they likely to walk a different path at a different pace as they although being a couple still process it individually - that’s the advice we didn’t get and almost split up because we didn’t realise it.
I hope it helps - if any further questions I’m happy to share my experience / views.
Ps: I met people who lost a child 50+ years ago, and still shed tears sometime. So it’s ok to cry.
And as I could phrase it: losing a child is something you can’t overcome - you just learn to live with it.

2 Likes

I am truly Blessed to direct a ministry called GriefShare at our church. I have been privileged to watch God move in participants hearts and see them begin their “Journey from Mourning to Joy”. It is a great Blessing to watch as the Holy Spirit ministers to hurting people just like Jesus did when he physically walked on this earth. It is truly a miracle to see what happens during the 14 week cycle of this ministry. Thousands of churches worldwide offer this ministry. You can see if there is one near you by going to their website GriefShare.org and click on “find a group”. Ravi would like it too since ever week the video has an evangelistic message in it. I close with my call to ministry, 2 Corinthians 1:3-5. Notice we are called to “comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

1 Like