I was raised in a dysfunctional family that had caused me many struggles in life - studies, communication, decision making, attitude struggle, emotional struggle, pornography, addiction to games, laziness, and lack of spiritual awakening. I had never experienced addiction to drugs and alcohol, never got involved in vices, but my struggle was the cycle of struggle - every year I would regret and do the same thing over and over again. I would lie to my parents about my studies, I really hated studying, I would bully people. I was proud as if I knew I was doing what is right. I easily got influenced by my friends and other people. As a consequence, my father would discipline me in a way that hurts me physically and verbally. I even heard the words of my father that he was ashamed to call me his son because of the burden I was bringing to my family. I also remember my dad almost stabbed me with a fork. Year after year in elementary to early highschool, it was a cycle that I could not break.
And then I reached the lowest point of my life where I told God to kill me because I thought that there was no way for me to change. I stopped attending catholic masses and activities. My family and I stopped attending and we relegated to secular living. So there I was thinking of what is next in my life. I did not want to feel anything as if I lost it. I could not control my lifestyle. It was inevitable for me.
But I then I knew that was not the end. I found out that God was pulling the strings of my life. I began to realized that God is gracious and he loves me.
The long time college friend of my dad invited us to a new church CCF (Christ Commission Fellowship). That was 2013. From there, things were never the same. Yes, there were more struggles and challenges in my family’s walk and in my walk in life, but those things happened for a purpose. I remember the first family fellowship we had where we discussed the first verse we pondered on that I never heard of when I was a devote Catholic (due to my lifestyle). That verse was John 3:16. That was that touched our hearts to the core. At first I did not understand it but as time went by, the more I read the bible (initially I was lazy to read but I developed the need to read along the journey), I understood the love of God psrticularly the gospel - Jesus Christ died on the cross for me as a sign of grace and unconditional love because He accepts me no matter who I am in the past or ahead. He forgives me and He is willing to call me His son. I learned that Jesus is my heavenly father, He is my all. He is Truth and a Love.
As a result, He broke that long cycle in life I was in. And from there, I was able to focus on nothing but Jesus alone despite of failures and amidst tempations. I was able to be a blessing for other people as well. I began to love studying because of the passion and the eagerness to know more about who Jesus in relation to other worldviews together with my experiences in a secular school at the same time. I have had struggles in my early Christian life but it radically changed my life all throughout (Romans 8:28). I have excelled in my studies in the rest of my Highschool years.
Now, I am a University student of our History department aiming to serve God in apologetics (Hopefully in RZIM soon, may I connect with more people here to help me get a career soon hahaha) I believe this is my calling. I am under the mentorship of Mr. Judah Paolo, RZIM Associate. And I thrive to keep going.
Overall, it had been a great journey of Truth and still is. I have longed for that Truth since then, that was what I realized. All of us long for Truth. And I have found it in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ alone. Praise God!
My name is Karl adrianne Abad, I was nobody, once I was lost now I am found. Now saved by the blood of Jesus. To Him be all the glory!