Support RZIM Connect

None friends better than wordly friends?

What can I do when I don’t have any mature Christian friend in my area? (there are some Christians, but they act sometimes even worse than unbelievers)


Hi Lidia,

a warm welcome to the community, I noticed your other recent post as well which seemed a little related to this question.

It is a difficult one, and probably not just related to being in your youth; all of us were made by God for relationship and fellowship, it’s how God has designed us.

We had a recent change of church circumstances (without going into too much detail) that resulted of a lot of my peer group leaving to worship elsewhere. We (my wife and I) found it difficult and we are still worshiping at the same church. This was 3 or 4 years ago and now we have some new people at church, but still not quite at the exact same stage of life that my wife and I are at (with a 16 year old daughter).

I guess all that to say; we all need friends at the same stage of life we are at; to work through life together.

It is a shame when we can see that our other Christian friends are not interested in following Jesus like they should; or maybe they are but they’re not quite up to where we are with our walk with Jesus - as you said mature Christians. It’s hard sometimes to get past the superficial conversations about the weather and sports and talk about deeper things.

There is nothing wrong with being friends with unbelievers, and perhaps you can be a light to them and gradually point them towards Jesus as the answer to their needs. I remember in a recent message I watched of Ravi Zacharius (preaching at the Mormon Tabernacle) where he said that sometimes the only Bible non-Christians will read is our lives. I guess it’s important to remember Psalm 1 and especially the book of Proverbs about the friends we choose. Psalm 1:1 says Blessed is the man/lady who walks not in the council of the ungodly, not stands in the way with sinners, or sits in the seat of the scornful; but his/her delight is in the Lord (and continues with promises)…

I’m not sure this is an adequate answer to your question; perhaps I can share a video I really enjoyed of Ravi Zacharius speaking to quite big audience of young people; I hope it will encourage your heart as it did mine.

I apologize if I have incorrectly assumed you’re in your twenties or so; but that’s all I could gather from your two posts. :slight_smile:

the other thing I might mention (in my 40s now) is that I look up to people that are about a half generation away from myself, and there are some men at our church who are in their early 50s, who are still not too old to remember what it’s like. A full generation-gap away can sometimes seem like too much to make friends; however sometimes the ‘oldies’ actually are also lonely and have great wisdom to offer, if we are able to make a connection with them…

Be encouraged in the Lord; and I hope you still stick around on this forum and have lots of conversations with people… everyone is very nice and welcoming.

oh; very quickly; did you see that the RZIM Refresh2020 this year is free online?
I noticed a brand new section setup for it here:
this is the info page as well.
and it looks like there is one more live stream session coming up soon on the RZIM youtube channel. :slight_smile:

God bless.
Kind regards


Hi @lidiamihai22,
I think @matthew.western has given some good answers and resources. I just wanted to say that I had this same issue at the start of my 20s. In fact, I used to be like the ‘Christian acting worse than the non believer’ and I realised my life needed to change. Part of that was the realisation I needed Godly friends around me. I made this one of my big prayer requests that I kept coming to God about. God was really faithful and made provision of a lovely group of Christian friends when I joined a new church plant. I’m not saying you have to move churches, but I’m saying that finding new friends is a good thing to pray about. I believe that God really cares about issues like this in your life.

I agree also that it might be worth looking at the Refresh links and getting connected in with others in the category there to encourage you.

God bless you as you seek his heart for your friendships.