Can someone help me?
Earlier this year my Aunty came back from a Hillsong Conference, and she stated she had a vision from my Dad, saying to my mother to let my three brothers and I go. To me, it was an answer to a previous prayer where I had no opportunities to practice this skill I wanted to have so badly because I thought it could be a great tool for my calling of me becoming an apologist. due to my mother wanting me to help with the family.
In this vision; Dad said that he wanted my mother to let go of my brothers and I, because we were in Gods hands. We got confirmation it was Dad because the attire he was wearing in the vision was what he was buried in last year, December 13th, and my Aunty had never been to the funeral/seen the body beforehand.
Now it feels like every time I’m stuck on a leash even while on this Kibbutz, away from my Mum, because I can’t learn skills that I want to learn, and because i feel so strongly a fear that she won’t let me go, because of her high expectations to help with the family, and I feel so much pressure, especially getting into a career straight after this gap year I’ve had. I know she’s trying to look out for me, but I can’t help but FEEL like she won’t let me go. Can someone help me? I feel like running away. I appreciate honest feedback, good or bad.
Apologetics is something I’ve felt called to, and I don’t want that to change into something else.
This is a seperate question, but is a calling a desire that grows into a strong obsession, or can that be a distortion due to my human nature?