Hi guys, i was just so confused and sad when my parents think im being “heretic” or in a step to “get to know all” when im now new into apologetics.
I was living in a conservative christian (Protestant, or bethel, i dont really care but that’s what my mom said about our denominations. I dont even think she understands any difference as well because she cant explain why are we holing that beliefs.)
In my country, apologetics isn’t really much known, and fortunately i know about this like few months ago from my international friend who came in the same church that im attending for a bible study
He introduced me to Ravi and since that day i begin to get thrist more and more about the bible and God, because all this time i was looking for some explanation about faith and want to talk to someone who could speak it in both layman language and scholars language, just like apologetics realm.
I begin to read books, asking questions that i bury in the past about bible and getting answers and im so happy i could know God deeper and making everything much clearer.
But my parent, especially mom, she begin to see me as a “want to know every secret” that what she said.
She even quote Romans 12:3,16 that say “think highly” to rebuke me for not thinking too high on everything and why should i even questioning deep questions about the bible.
She said “you shouldn’t asking every secret because only God knows that! What you need to do is just tead the Word and make change on your life. Thats it! Why are you trying to probe everything that you shouldn’t know? Also you dont need to debate anyone just because you know some answers (i told her i could explain plainly to some of my atheist friends online about Christ)”
While that comes out because i just being honest with her saying “mom im now trying to makes sense in my head what the Trinity is. I know i have one God but sometimes i cant explain to myself whY i have three gods. I also wonder why Jesus need to come as a hero like he is having hero complex, if He know that we are all gonna go through this (i found this answer on Vince & Jo podcast Ask Away, thankfully)”
But realy, having this kind of response from my own parent is irritating.
And this happens often, just this morning i got her preaching on me on 1 Thessalonians 5:21, she say “Look! You need to filter everything! Nor everyone you hear and read is saying the right thing! They may be good but they may have come motives behind!”
(I was the only one who likes to listen to all RZIM podcast, and all was in english, a language that my fam not really familiar with, and she know that, because usually i play it while im cooking. When mom come, often she suddenly turn on the TV and lay it loudly so i need to stop the podcast. Also because of it i like to read more applogetics books, and since my mom questioned what kind of books i bought, and even questioning what kind of book is the apologetics study bible is… she think its an interpretation book (she never had any idea what a study bible is), so i downloaded some ebooks so i could read it on my phone. Still, she peeks on what im reading )
Sometimes i think why should im being “alone” on this, and why i keep receiving rejection, and am i doing something wrong?
I have some atheist friend and with apologetics i could understand better on how i could speak softly to them without aggresively making them to be a christian, i found it helpful but i don’t understand why i should keep receive rejection from my own family, and sometimes i was asking myself should i hide all my books and bible from them? Just to make them feel secure about me? I dont want them think the apologetics guys are just the guys who likes to debate :’(