Hello, please pray that God would reveal my purpose for my life in a clear way. Recently iv’e been going through a hard breakup with a girlfriend, and she has found someone else. This has brought so much darkness and doubt about my life, and I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts and helplessness for a while now because of it. I don’t know exactly what to do or where to turn at this point, and I don’t know exactly if I’m using this platform correctly, but the only thing Ive heard that has helped me at all recently is a couple podcasts I’ve heard from Ravi. He talked about his wife who at one point had a broken arm, and he mentioned that when one breaks a bone, they can will and want with all their might, but they won’t be able to move it. Then he said it is similar when our soul is depraved and seperated from God. We can will and want, but nothing we do will be able to bring us back to him, and we are helpless without him. When I heard that, it broke me and I began to cry, because that is exactly how I have been feeling. I have been trying to wish and try different things, but my soul is broken, and I am completely at God’s mercy. I think part of me is terrified at how hopeless I am to save myself from this dark place, so It’s been hard for me to even admit that I am as helpless without God s I am. But when I heard Ravi say that, I knew that was where I am. I cannot heal without God’s mercy and resurrecting power, and I am desperately at his mercy and in his hands. So I just searched RZIM website for prayer requests, and I ask for prayers for peace and healing in Jesus’s name. Thank you.
Hello @Salman96. You are very welcome here. This is exactly the correct usage of the Connect platform. We are here to encourage one another in Christ and to grow deeper in our walk with Him. As Christ followers, we are meant to celebrate with fellow believers when they celebrate and mourn with them when they mourn. Thank you so much for reaching out for prayer.
I am so sorry for the pain you must be experiencing at the loss of this relationship. Experiences like this can cause us to feel despair and darkness for sure, especially when we put our identity into the thing that we have lost. You are not alone here. It is absolutely terrifying to acknowledge how absolutely helpless we are to save ourselves. But when we hit rock bottom, so to speak, it can open us up to the possibility of putting our trust in God. I imagine that God sheds many a tear waiting for each of us to reach the point where we turn to Him with our brokenness.
Brother, we cannot of our own strength find our way to God, but if we call out to Him as you have, He promises to save us; not just for some distant future, but for the present. He is always waiting nearby for us to call out to Him. He loves you so deeply and so do we. He has a purpose for your life. But first you must heal.
I will be praying for healing and wholeness for you dear brother. God is able. I, too, am familiar with that dark place; with that feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. I will be praying for strength and courage to continue relinquishing your brokenness to Him. He is the only one who has the power to heal and the unconditional desire to see you set free to be who He made you to be. You are loved. I will be praying that He will embrace you with the peace that passes all understanding.
@Salman96 do you have people around you who can provide tangible support during this difficult time? Do you have a local church community? Please take the courage to reach out to those who can be physically present with you as well. Please also continue to reach out through Connect. We aren’t going anywhere. Let us know how we can continue to pray for you.
Bless you, dear brother.
Hello @Salman96. God bless your heart, I am so sorry you are hurting I am very thankful you have reached out to us. I am lifting you up in prayer I understand what suicidal thoughts are like and so does Ravi. Please do not give up. It would benefit you to reach out to a Christian counselor if you are willing.
Stay in Gods word and believe Gods promises. Satan loves to bathe in our pain and make us think there is no other way but this is a lie!
Psalm 34:18-19 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
Psalm 34:17 “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”
Please keep reaching out and keep us posted. We are here for you
@Salman96 thank you for being willing to be so vulnerable as to share what you’re going through. You have my prayers, of course, but I’d like to encourage you in this, if I may.
My biological father left my mother and me when I was a few weeks old. I didn’t hear from him again until I was 22. I didn’t reach out to actually meet him until I was 35 and curious what kind of physical conditions or ailments his side of my bloodline had.
He had no part in my upbringing, my formative years, and most of my adult life. And quite honestly, I had no use for him. I had a Dad already – a man who chose to raise me as his son – so why would I care about a man who never cared for me? I was angry with him for a long time for leaving, but about the time I decided to meet him, I had an epiphany of sorts…
–Had he stayed, my Mom would never have went into the Navy, where she met my Dad.
–They never would’ve gotten married.
–Dad would never have adopted me.
–They would never have had my sister.
–He would never have been my best friend growing up.
–They would never have gotten divorced.
–She would never have settled in Chicago and he in Alabama.
–I would never have moved to Alabama when I graduated high school.
–I would never have met, married, and divorced my first wife.
–Depression would never have driven me to look past the Jesus I’d always known to be my Savior and finally bend my knee to Him as my Lord (MAJOR difference between the two!).
–I would never have remarried and re-divorced my first wife.
–I would never have found myself stranded in Arkansas, about 800 miles from anybody I’d ever called “family”.
–And I would never have met my current (and final) wife, and fathered three wonderful (if infuriating) kids.
Had my biological father chose to stay rather than go – heck, had he simply stayed INVOLVED – my life would’ve been absolutely unrecognizable. Once, I was angry at him for cheating me out of what I’d presumed would be a “normal” childhood, but now, looking at everything that’s come from that, I can’t help but feel that I would’ve been cheated had he stayed!
In Genesis, when Joseph confronts the brothers that sold him into slavery, he has compassion on them, saying “What you meant for evil, God meant for good, to make possible the ways I bless people today.”
I know you’re hurting right now, but please know that you’re not alone. God is in your pain with you. He knows you’re hurting… but He also knows what He plans to shape those troubles into. Every new day provides the raw materials for whatever tomorrow God is crafting. You NEED the bad days as much as you need the good ones, because they all shape your life in indispensable ways. They may not make much sense right now, but there again, my biological father’s abandonment didn’t make much sense… until it did Be still, and know that He is God. My prayers are with you.
@tpauls8 Thank you Tara. This is a very challenging time in my life, and your words have helped me. I will never forget them. Yes thankfully God has blessed me with many good friends and fellow believers. I don’t even want to think about where I would be if it wasn’t for that. And by the grace of God I don’t have to think about it. Thank you again for your prayers.
I also really appreciate how you put it when you said “once we reach our rock-bottom, it allows us the opportunity to put our trust fully in God” I’ve heard things similar to this before, but after going through this, that has hit me in a new way. Thank you!
@sig Thank you for this encouragement, and for your prayers. It means a lot to me!
@nashdude I appreciate you sharing this story. I understand that God can use our darkest days and work them together for our ultimate good, and for his glory. But right now it doesn’t seem to make any sense that he would allow this to happen. Even though as you said, we need the bad days. Its funny, I love listening to Ravi and other apologists answer peoples questions about how, if there is an all-loving, all-powerful God, why would he allow pain and suffering in the world. (especially as someone who formerly did not believe in God for this same reason, this topic is super fascinating to me.) I listen and admire the eloquence and intelligence he uses to explain that for love to exist, free will must exist, and therefore pain and suffering. I have all that admiration for such a profound answer to such a valid and good question. And yet when I am experiencing the throws of pain and suffering, none of it seems to make sense any more. Something deep within me says, this must be different than what should be, and there must be some greater explanation to it all. As I’m sure you have felt with your Dad. I guess its a true battle between our emotional brain and our logical brain. Logically I know that God has a plan for everything, and that he can use anything for his glory, but emotionally it can be hard to believe that he is in the pain with me and he cares. Even though I know he does intellectually.
I appreciate your prayers and you sharing this again!
Prayers coming your way, brother! I am so very sorry to hear of the anguish you have been going through. Those dark times are excruciating.
I hear you. That’s one of my most frequent accusations to lob at him: ‘Do you even care?’ Funny thing is, I have found that there are a lot of things I tend to value that he doesn’t actually care about. That is, he does care about us, but he seems to be interested in deeper, more fundamental things for us. It’s confusing (and frustrating and painful and scary, etc.) a lot of times to be in that space, where He seems to be dismantling us (or letting us be dismantled). I find it immensely difficult to trust Him there, and to entrust him with the process. But really, are there any other better options?
I don’t know if that necessarily applies to you where you are, but do know that I’ve been praying that your ears (and heart) will be opened to hear His voice speaking to and ministering to you in the deep places during this time.
Thank you, brother. It is a privilege to pray with and for you.
@Salman96, I also am sorry for the struggles you are walking through and am praying that you will received the guidance you are seeking for the purpose God has for your life.
Sometimes without answers all we can do is trust. Trust that God is good. Trust that God will repair your brokenness. Trust that one day in the future God will show you a perspective on this circumstance that you are not capable of seeing at this present time.
And if your life circumstances have not built a strong trust of God in you, then trust your good Christian friends and rely on their words that God is trustworthy. With every struggle we can develop a stronger and stronger “trust muscle.”
God brought me through so many struggles (even suicidal thoughts) that I had developed a secure trust in Him. When my sister died of cancer, the most important thing I wanted to do a few hours later was go the early Sunday church service and worship God. I wanted to speak the Apostles Creed with the congregation, to hear the pastor’s prayer, to sing hymns in spite of my grief. I wanted both my heart and my actions to communicate that in spite of this hard, hard loss I was worshipping God on His throne and acknowledging He was in control. I sincerely doubt I could have done this if my trust in Him had not been a growing part of my faith through my years and struggles.
So I am praying for you that this struggle will provide you with one more ounce of trust in God that you did not have before this.
Have you ever heard of the ancient art form of Kintsugi? I had not until recently. It’s the art form of taking broken pottery and repairing it with gold to make it more beautiful than it was before it was broken. Google it and you will see many examples. I think this is a wonderful metaphor for how God shapes our brokenness into something new and beautiful.
Lean in @Salman96. It’s sounds simplistic, but it really is healing–let go and let God. Trust him. It’s a choice. A choice that I am confident will open up the next step in your walk of faith. God bless you.
@Jennifer_Judson Thank you for your words of encouragement. I am praying for trust in God and faith that he is good! Also what a beautiful metaphor about the broken pottery