Yeah, I think we both agree that our value is objective, and that’s important to affirm. If our value was intrinsic to us, though, then that means we wouldn’t need anything outside of ourselves in order to have value. In other words, we wouldn’t even need God to have value. But, we know that we do need God to have value. And, with him as the ground of our value, he gets the glory and he establishes our value, your friend’s daughter’s value, as rock solid and undeniably objective.
It sounds like you’re really trying to help them both see the soul-satisfying value of God in Christ through the gospel and I’d say keep that up. Speaking as someone who grew up on the receiving end of this sort of thing, it can be a very tough thing to help someone overcome placing more value on what others say about them than on what God says about them. As you know, there is probably also a lot of influence on her coming from her mom and where her treasure is. And, regardless of what their parents are saying, children at that age are beginning to pick up on where their parents’ hearts really are based on how they live their lives. So, there are a lot of things at play here. But you never know when God is going to open their eyes to the truth and beauty of the all-sufficiency of Christ. Keep loving them, keep praying for them.
And, interestingly enough, as I was writing this, this song just came to mind. The new Hillsong song titled Who You Say I Am is really good with theologically sound lyrics. I like it, maybe you or they will too!
As far as resources go, while this one is more for your friend than her daughter, Paul Tripp’s latest book titled Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family is outstanding, no exaggeration. My copy is all marked up and one that I refer back to as I go down this road of parenting. This book truly revolutionized the way I looked at parenting. Since, I assume, her mom is still a meaningful influence in her life, perhaps a resource for her might not hurt?