Long post from chapter 1& 2
This book has been a gift from God! A bit of my story: my husband and I married at 17 & 19, at 21 & 23 we traded our lives of drugs and alcohol for a life with Jesus. Then 4 kids, 11 grandchildren, rich & poor, better & worse, sickness & health, fights & laughter later, we experienced the till death do us part, part. 18 months ago, after 42 years of marriage, my dear husband Don went home to Jesus leaving me very single. Being single after 42 years of not, has been hard enough but the conversation around it is excruciating. This book has brought much clarity to my confusion and Sean’s & Ivy’s conversation continues to give voice to and unravel the the thoughts that are as tangled as a ball of yarn that has been repeatedly picked and pulled at. I’ve hesitated posting here because I have so much to say, but since I don’t see anyone else posting, here I go.
~On the topic of awkward conversations of singleness (chapter 1): Ivy’s comments on taking responsibility for her part really got me thinking about my part. Though I’ve lost my husband I can’t be a victim. Thank you Ivy. Something I’m learning (from Ravi Z and Vince Vitale), is to consider not just the question but the questioner. When my children or those in my inner circle bridge this topic, could it be they’re voicing concern for my emotional or financial well being as a single person. Maybe their questions of a possible future marriage are rooted in their own fears of what responsibility will fall to them if I remain single? I’m still pondering this.
~I’ve decided to compile possible responses to the questions on singleness that I’m hoping will get me out of defensive mode and instead open opportunities for meaningful conversations. (I have to make a list cuz I’m not a quick thinker, lol). When the awkward question arises, I can start with, “that’s a really good question” then…
*Do you think someone can be fully content being single?
*Do you think Jesus ever considered or thought about His singleness? And discuss Him being fully human, single, and not a discontent person.
*Can you think of any single people, Christian or not, in a relationship they should not be in, simply because they don’t want to be single?
I welcome other’s feedback, I want to learn to have good responses.
~On the topic of the Gift of singleness (chapter 2): This was hard for me to decipher. Could it be the difference between a Gift versus a Gifting? A gifting being a talent and gift being a present? This perspective helped me. I would love to hear other perspectives also. Life is precious and whether married or single it’s a Gift from God for where I am at this moment. A gift that I want to treasure.
As I’m learning to walk this new journey of singleness I welcome others experience and thoughts.
~I fully appreciated Sam’s analogy of the super hero. All I ever wanted to be in life was a wife and mom, the American dream for a woman, right? No wonder I’m thinking others expect me to remarry because that’s what I would have expected before I found myself single. The last 10 years of my marriage I was taking care of a very sick & disabled husband. Many, many times I wondered how I did it. It was hard, often lonely, and I often fought selfishness, but I was determined to fulfill my marriage vows, to love, honor, and cherish my man. It didn’t take super powers it took obedience and commitment to Jesus. After reading this book I’m realizing my singleness will also be hard, often lonely, and I will continue to war against selfishness and so thnkful for Sam’s perspective, this truth, that again it won’t be a super power that sees me through but rather the same obedience and commitment. Ok, so maybe a super power is needed, and that would be the power of the Holy Spirit!