Responding to Pregnancy Announcement

Hi all,

Looking for insight - how should a believer respond to news from another believer regarding pregnancy out of marriage? I ask because over the course of a few years, a few women in my young adult group part of our church have announced they are pregnant but I know they are not married. I am thrilled at the expectancy of life and that they chose life as opposed to aborting the child, but also concerned about choices regarding sex outside of marriage. I also don’t want to shame or condemn anyone of course. Thank you!


@jill.sanders.447. I think what is most telling is that your heart is convicted to offer a legitimate response. But I also believe there is not a generic or universal manner in which we should respond. I have found that if I consult the Lord for ongoing guidance in how I conduct myself He has been faithful.

That always begins with my acknowledgment of what an individual means to the heart of GOD. And what He wants me to say. The principle thing is conveying the value GOD continues to hold regarding that person, not the acceptance of their sin, but how mercy interacts with us when we have failed GOD.

I have found my willingness to love and support them despite the sin provides the avenue for us, together, to exam the detriment of their sins. Unlike many popular convictions, I have never felt to negate the impact of sin on our living. Sin is cancerous and impactful. Leading us down paths that GOD never intended for us to walk.

Repentance is a corrective force on these paths of wanderlust. But forgiveness only occurs when repentance is as deliberate as the sin committed. How and when to address that issue is timed by GOD. It is never meant to destroy us, just restore us.

I would ask the Lord to lead me into ways I can support her or them. Then I would embrace that leading with all my being. It establishes a relationship that will allow the topic of sexual sin to arise on its own. These young women need someone to love them while telling and living out the truth of GOD.


One question I would like to ask to gain a better perspective is are you in leadership in the group? I ask this because sometimes its best left to leadership to handle things like this. I feel sometimes we as Christians may feel obligated to confront another believer on a situation that church leadership may already be aware of.

I would also ask how close to these women are you? Do you consider them really good friends or are they just women who you see in a church group and talk to only there? This is important because it will determine in most situations how what you say will be received and if you should say anything at all aside from just being happy for them about the child.

@cer7 thanks for your response, you really made me think and it has helped my perspective in this situation.

@Luna thanks for your response. I am not in a leadership position, and in the situation that just arose I am not close with this woman and don’t know the situation. In the past it has happened with a woman that I am closer with. I only felt compelled to congratulate her at the time and then she got engaged shortly after and is now married. I see what you are saying though regarding the context of the situation and strength of relationships. I’ve prayed and will continue to lift up these women in prayer