Should homosexual couples be allowed to adopt kids?

From a Christian perspective, I tend to say no, but I can’t come up with some solid reasons for that. There are some orphanages where kids aren’t treated well and if there is a homosexual couple wanting to adopt them and to offer them better conditions it seems to be better for the kids.
What I could think of is that it would be better for them from a material point of view. This morning, I read this in Matthew 16:26: “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?”, but I’m not sure how exactly being adopted by a homosexual couple would cause the child to lose his soul.

Hi Teo,
This is a difficult question in some ways since we tend to see material need as most important. As the mother of adopted children and former adoption caseworker I can only tell you my perspective. I will be interested in the reply of others to your question.
Children who are in the position to be adopted have often had a hard start in life. God has created families with a mother and father both giving something different and essential to the raising of children. In my view, to disrupt that design is not in the best interest of children. I’m not sure about losing their soul, since a child may have access to people who could bring them to salvation, as happens sometimes with secular parents, but to me it is more about providing the best environment for a child to know God, be embraced by a mother and father in a home that teaches them the healthiest way to live.
As a worker I was asked to place children in homes like you are mentioning but had to decline to work those cases. Many people raised your exact question with me. Adopted children have many issues to face and I think that adding this one to the mix adds confusion, stigma and struggle. No family is perfect and we all are sinners, but just as I would not advocate for a family dealing with other situations like alcohol abuse taking on the adoption of children , I would apply that here as well. Adoption is difficult under the best of circumstances. I’m sure many will disagree, so I’ll look forward to others input.

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Thanks a lot for sharing your perspective!

@teo. No, they should not. My work with preschoolers has taught me that children should be protected as much as possible. Not that homosexual couples could not be loving. But it does force the question and answer upon children that will not allow for the consideration or the desire to follow GOD’s plan for the family. Children form their loyalties early in life. At some point, they have to decide whether the Word of GOD is true, or their homosexual parents.

I have never seen a child raised by a same-sex couple that did not bear this burden in a manner that caused them harm, later in life. It is true that many children suffer at the hands of heterosexual parenting. But there is clear and necessary reasoning for a home that provides both Mom and Father. Just as there is clear and necessary reasoning that those parents be GOD-centric in their living.

I would say, it is no more desirable to raise a child in a same-sex home than it is to raise a child in a home of heterosexual parents who are GOD-less in their living. Both homes are detrimental.

Children are too precious to raise them like we pick our political representations. Often choosing what we believe is the lesser of two evils. Life will throw children enough curves without our willingness to subject them to the influence of our personal pursuit of happiness.

Can a society subject to the ravages of living in a fallen world offer a real solution for children harmed by that world? Only with GOD’s help, with GOD’s guidance. Having reached that conclusion, I must add; even if a child is raised by a same-self couple the arm of the Lord is not too short to reach them. The offspring of a same-sex couple is just as worthy of love and redemption.

But if we can avoid clouding their thinking to start, they will be that much further ahead when learning to live with honor before our Creator. Because in the end, that is the duty of us all.

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Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on this issue!

Hi, @teo! First time posting, and such a good question. It’s one that I wrestle with as well!

What we’re dealing with here is standards, and each agency (or state or nation), I imagine, will have different standards. Some I would agree with; others I probably would not.

First off, I appreciate what @kedick says here:

What seems to be needed in a massive measure is for the children to be placed in an environment that is full of love, stability, consistency, and support. However, what we do know about humanity is that no home/family will be able to offer this perfectly. No parent can escape ‘messing up’ their kid. :wink: We will always be reckoning with our upbringing and early experiences, and so will our children and grandchildren. What is needed is an environment that is ‘good enough’.

What I’ve also noticed is that when we’re dealing with standards, we’re also dealing with ideals. I hold ideals and stick to them as much as I can, but I also know that most of the time, reality is what we’re dealing with. So what is the reality? Are there more children to be adopted that families available? :woman_shrugging:

Sidebar: if we’re only dealing with ideals, then I think a parallel question that could be raised is, ‘Should a single man or woman be allowed to adopt?’ Because, not being married, they fall outside the ideal.

Bottom line: In my mind, any person (whether coupled or single) that could offer a ‘good enough’ environment would be a prime candidate for taking care of a child.

And, I say that fully knowing that I’ve never had to make those judgement calls…and I greatly respect those who have. (Kathy, my hat is off to you!)

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Thanks KMac, I could write volumes about this, and about my heart for children. You are right that the reality is we need homes for kids and this is a challenging issue. As we were adopting our youngest at age 8, we had to get approved for foster care so he could live with us as the adoption was finalized. Our caseworker made this heartbreaking comment “ I have to place kids in homes who I would not let take care of my dog for the weekend “ . They are placed in good enough homes and apparently in not good enough homes. Mainly these are older children, sibling groups or kids with disabilities. I always tell people not to ever do “social work “ at home, but if there are families who are led by the Lord and are interested in adoption, I encourage them to explore it. If you are not led to adopt, please pray for these children, and support adoptive families in your church.

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I wanted to add that I do not see single heterosexual parents in the same way mainly because in the case of abuse, a single parent may very well be ideal for a specific child, and I see nothing Biblically against it.

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Thanks for sharing your way of looking at this!

I definitely agree on that!

We’re all in the Biblical perspective here. And we also should be as Christians be in the discipline of God’s Word. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. Pro.12:14

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It can not be something God would approve, since homosexuals are going against the ideal God gave man from the beginning, as “he made them male and female”, Mathew 19:4. Paul say’s same Romans 1:12, “… men leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly.” As these scripture had much to do with the sodomy laws that were common before the 1960s, but then some states began to repeal (throw out) their sodomy laws. Though 12 states still have those laws on the books today.
No, its not only the soul of the child that is possibly at stake, but the the very security of the one that would offend such a child, Matthew 18:6, “for of such is the kingdom of heaven”, Matthew 19:14.

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Thanks for sharing your view!

Can I add? Helping children without parents should not be regulated to the act of adoption, only. There are many ways to support these children.

In James 1:27 the Word reads “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

As the people of GOD we have a clear mandate; that has the need of the children as the primary cause for action. If a husband and wife are called to the ministry of adoption then that call should be answered. But there is a massive group of GOD lead people, who must be concerned for these children and consult the Lord, often, how to meet that need. Adoption is just one of those options.

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Yeah, I agree. What a wonderful thought!

This is a pretty weighty topic… Which brings to mind the weight of a millstone which Jesus referred to in Matt. 18:6 saying: “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

So the care and protection to be concerned about is not only the children who’d be likely to absorb various presumptions of homosexual misinformation in their formative years (which would no doubt affect and offend them), but it also seems important to mitigate the issue of the wrath of God upon the “necks” of those who offend his “little ones”.

In as much as God is unconditional in his love, And in as much as his mercy endures for ever… In as much as it is God’s kindness he uses to lead us to repentance; He is equally a vengeful and terrible defender of truth and righteousness. And to those who refuse God’s reproof it is… {Insert a deep breath and sigh…} Well, lets just say they definitely don’t belong in a place of leadership, especially not as adoptive parents of little children. God really means business in a “special way” with this kind of thing.

This is an offensive opinion for certain. But it does appear in the bible. So it’s well worth pondering and struggling to reconcile how this can be the case.

I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you. Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me Proverbs 1: 26-28

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@timotto This answer may be a bit tough, but it’s based on the Bible and I really appreciate it! Thanks a lot for writing this!

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Great insight. Thank you

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I would say unequivocally “no”.

First, God does not recognize the legitimacy of a homosexual “marriage”, and any legality conferred on a homosexual couple by the state is irrelevant. Leviticus 18:22 condemns homosexual activity as an abomination - the strongest term of condemnation found in the Bible and generally treated as a capital offense - note Leviticus 20:13.

So, should homosexuals still be put to death today?

Fortunately, we live in the New Testament era where everyone under a death penalty can come to Christ and experience the death and burial of the old man he used to be (Romans 6:6) and the resurrection of a completely new Spiritual nature (Ephesians 4:22-24) within. A born again child of God can very literally claim, “I’m not the man I used to be!” The former homosexual or adulterer or thief or drunkard or whatever he once was has been put to death - his “spiritual DNA” is forever replaced by the new man in Christ (I Corinthians 6:9-11).

But the Spiritual rebirth that Christ has made possible through the cross was not available when Leviticus was written. So the Mosaic penalty was the only way to permanently deal with especially binding and devastating sins that would not only destroy individual lives, but whole cultures as well.

All that to say that a former homosexual who is now married to a person of the opposite sex may be as acceptable for an adoptive parent as anyone else.

Second, research demonstrates that children raised by same-sex couples fare significantly poorer than those raised in homes closer to the biblical model.

This was well documented by Dr. Mark Regnerus (University of Texas) in his study (linked above) of almost 3,000 adults who grew up in homosexual households. He even found that children raised by a heterosexual single parent or heterosexual step -parents fared better than those raised by homosexuals.

The grown children of same-sex couples were most likely to score high for depression, to have suicidal thoughts, to feel insecure and unsafe in their family, to have been raped, to have a sexually transmitted disease, a criminal record, to be unemployed, and other similar negative traits.

The legitimizing of same sex marriage is about far more than the rights of homosexual activists. Undermining the basic unit of society cannot help but affect every person in that society.

I hope this will help you with this question.

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Very insightful and well referenced response :+1::+1:
Thank you for sharing your thought on this.

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