Recently, my father passed away due to cancer. We were only informed about 1-2 weeks prior to his death. We do have the knowledge that he has HEPA B and is weak/sick most of his life (His liver conditioned worsened but he showed improvement from time to time). I’m saying this to state that I always prayed for his health and well-being, though I did not expect his condition to worsen so suddenly.
My father was murdered by his brothers (who were in connivance with the doctors) for a large amount of money. Thus, he lost his trust after a few weeks of treatment and flew back to our home country, to us.
However, my father, in my perception, was a non-believer. He was the typical money-oriented man who did not factor God in his daily life and decisions. Maybe he did believe in one (Buddhism), but he certainly did not believe in Jesus.
So that week, nearing his death, I think that God was telling me to share the gospel to him. Given that we were not close as father and daughter, I had a really hard time. So I prepared. The time came when I decided that I was ready (not fully prepared for everything but at least I have the content), but I shied away when I got rejected by him.
He was the type of person who was SO HARDWORKING. Literally sacrificed his life to provide for his family and was selfless. I doubt that he relied on God to provide. Well, I relied on God to provide and I think that it was through my father (I’m still not sure about this.)
So in the end, he died without hearing the gospel. I don’t remember praying about his salvation exactly, but would God allow such a thing to happen? A soul not to be saved?
I know that with regards to justice, yes he is destined to go to Hell because of his choice to reject God if ever he had encountered Him. However, I find this unfair.
Is this partly my fault for holding back on sharing the gospel?
Thank you for reading and for answering.