Spiritual Guidance

Hi all,

In addition to speaking with my two mentors, I wanted to ask the RZIM community for some advice.

Back in May, my wife and I got married and moved from our college town to my hometown to work for my parents company (albeit remotely). We left an amazing church, amazing community, and a town we loved. Ever since we have arrived in my hometown, our Spiritual lives have suffered. Particularly mine. We have found a great church, but have had a hard time finding community that is in our stage of life. Additionally, my family lives here, and although I love them dearly, they are a negative influence on us and our spiritual lives (which hurts me to say, because I really wanted to be a good witness to them). I also have a history of OCD and Anxiety, and have felt them start to rear their ugly heads again recently. And finally, we just simply miss our church, our community, and our college town.

That said, we are thinking about paying the break lease fee on our apartment and moving back in January. We truly believe it will be better for us spiritually and believe it is a better environment to raise a family in as well. Am I over thinking this, or is my head in the right place? In all honesty I am conflicted both ways, but we desperately need good community and to be poured into by Godly men and women. I also have a strong desire to help with college ministry.

Thank y’all!


No one is in a better position to evaluate God’s will for you in this than you and your new bride. If this is what the two of you are feeling led of the Lord to do, then I cannot think of any scriptural impediment to this decision.

In fact, God said in the very beginning that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. There is something to be said for a couple launching as arrows out into the great wide world - depending on God and one another - Abraham and Sarah being called to leave his father’s house for the place that God would show them - Jacob going to faraway Haran where God could knock off some of his rough edges - Joseph’s mettle being tried and refined in a distant prison and palace - Moses in Midianite exile watching sheep with Zipporah, being honed to lead an even greater flock.

May God guide you on the incredible adventure of a lifetime!


Thank you for the advice! We will be praying about it and asking God to show us where he would like us!

And thank you for the prayers as well!


Hi @ashtonbrewer94, I remember one of your previous questions about whether to move back to your college town or not. I feel like you might have found the answer with what you’ve shared here.

It’s true that whilst you love your family and you want to be a good witness to them, your Godly responsibility first and foremost is now to your wife and your marriage. You have done so well to recognise the OCD and anxiety trying to creep back in. I think that focussing on your marriage and what will be healthy for you both is the wisest thing right now.

When newly wed, it is incredibly exciting but there’s also a lot of growth and compromise that will take place over the next couple of years. Do you want the extra external pressures at this time as well? Would it it be better to grow with your wife as God planned, and return to your family in the future from a place of strength? I don’t think this is selfish, and you’re not overthinking it. Making a decision to put your marriage and personal ministry first may in itself be a real witness to your family. God bless you for taking so much time to consider all the aspects of a move. I think you are doing really well, and I’m so grateful to be able to share in a tiny part of this journey with you both.


Hi Allison,

Thank you for the wisdom! I’m very appreciative to have Godly guidance from you and the rest of the community here!

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Hello Ashton,

May I ask, why did you decide to move back to your hometown to begin with? I think your answer to that question may be a key factor to assessing how God may be leading you.

Sometimes it may be the case that we misstepped and need to get back to the place God didn’t send us from; but sometimes it is also the case that God allows circumstances into our lives that test our faith (particularly if we have just stepped out in faith) in order to grow us in our faith and to deepen our relationship with Him.

God will speak to you as you seek Him with your whole heart. The Bible tells us that when we acknowledge Him in our ways, the LORD will direct our steps. I would recommend fasting as you seek God’s answer.

I pray that God will lead you and guide you into all truth and devotion to Him, and that He will deepen your faith as He preserves you, making you holy set apart to Him. May all of God’s purposes for your life be fulfilled, in Jesus name.


Thank you @artownsend for these words. You provided Scriptural backing for the considerations that should be at the forefront in a scenario like this. I am certain the brethren’s thoughts would be of help to our brother
Praying ( Isaiah 30:21) for you @ashtonbrewer94 "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, “This is the road! Now follow it.) "

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