Testimony (Brittany)

My testimony is pretty straight-forward, but there’s an undercurrent of the power of unresolved doubt. I’ve loved the Lord from an early age, and I was blessed with growing up in a Christian household. The Bible made sense to me because I could see how loving others and God gave life a sense of meaning- I saw it daily in my parents’ walk. I know that’s a huge blessing many don’t experience. I was the kind of kid who would read the Bible with a flashlight after I was put to bed- living out the Bible made sense because I could see how loving others and being loved unconditionally by God changed life.

In high school, a teacher seriously questioned my faith. Although I gave defenses as best I could, I secretly came to believe he was right. However, there was one thing that kept me from giving up my faith completely. We had a string of funerals at our church (not uncommon for a small elderly church in rural America) and I was able to observe how people with different worldviews mourned. I felt the Christian faith was the best way to get through that, but I still had doubts. I remember standing in my family’s driveway waiting for my family to come out to go to one of the funerals and was thinking of all the arguments my teacher had made against Christianity. It seemed with so many holes in my beliefs, they couldn’t stand anymore. However, I decided Christianity was a good crutch to get through life’s challenges like funerals, so I’d still try to go through the motions.

God revealed to me the duplicity in my position when it became harder and harder to love others. For a while, I stuck with Christianity because I wanted it to be true, but after a while, if I’m candid, I didn’t really want it to be true anymore. Several friends hit rough seasons, and I stuck with them because the Bible said we should love others. However, that brought on a degree of pain into my own life, and I found myself again at a crossroads. If Christianity wasn’t true, it felt foolish to stick with it anymore since it was hard. If it was true, then frankly, it felt like it God was letting me down. I needed to actually know for sure and not just try to hype myself up to believe blindly anymore.

Thankfully, when I reached this point, I found apologetics. My mind was blown that Christianity was relevant in more ways than the box I had put it into. I dug deeper and found a new enthusiasm in my faith as I could see God for who He really was. When I knew God was real, it felt like everything changed. For me, Ephesians 2:1-10 really stands out on the power of God’s working in our lives. I love the phrase, “But God…” in verse 2:4 because it translates all that we try to do as humans- fleshly desires but also good works- and fits them into the context of being done by and for God. When God is true, we have such a valuable gift.


Thanks so much for sharing your testimony @Brittany_Bowman1 :slight_smile: It’s amazing to hear how the lived out faith of your family members kept the embers of your faith alive until you had a chance to learn about apologetics. The Lord is faithful! May all of our lives be that kind of light to others around us.


Wow, what an encouraging testimony @Brittany_Bowman1 . Even for one who grew up in such a loving and believing home. Glad you found your way back through apologetics.

I do have a question though. During those times, you must have tried to reach out to your parents or someone from your church, did you found apologetics through them or somewhere else?

Thanks once again, I’m truly blessed by your testimony for personal reasons.

Blessings in Christ,


Thank you so much for stepping forward and sharing your testimony Brittany. I love how honest and candid you are. I am thankful God brought you through all the doubt. You are such a blessing in this forum. You are so right. We do have a valuable gift in God.
God bless :heart:


That’s a good question, Roy.

I knew I had the resources from my pastor and parents but didn’t really ask, which is something I wish I had done. I was super busy in high school and college, so I mainly kept conversations straight-forward without digging into deeper things.

I didn’t know who Ravi Zacharias was, but I remember the RZIM broadcast would come on the radio at 8 a.m. on Sundays and was often why my family would be late to church because either my sister or I would inevitably get hooked before church started at 8:30. :woman_facepalming: :laughing: Those tiny snippets piqued my interest because it would often relate to what my teacher was saying at school.

I found a good campus ministry in college but couldn’t find a niche there in a way that would open up deeper conversations, again because I was pretty busy. In grad school, I signed up for a book launch with Saving Truth about the time I found a really good church in town. That started me down a path of digging more deeply into my faith.


Hi @Brittany_Bowman1,

This is a really encouraging testimony to read!

In particular, your story strengthens my resolve to keep building very open, safe conversations with my children. I want our family to be habitually asking questions and seeking truth together. My hope is that my children will be surprised to learn one day that apologetics is a ‘thing’ because it will have been such a normal, regular part of their lives.

I am so grateful for you and the servant spirit you display in this community. Your authenticity and care shine through this online forum and encourage me to keep loving Jesus.


Hi Brittany,

Thank you for the testimony. I asked because my wife also grew up in a loving Christian family. Who are more simply “just believe” faith, no questions asked. And she was fine with it. She was even disturbed by me being too inquisitive early in our relationship.

But since then, because of the nature of our ministry in discipleship, and being exposed to so many people asking hard questions and me welcoming them gladly, she kinda tagged along. And I’m glad she is also won over by Ravi and his team’s winsome approach to questioners. She always thought having questions means to go against the faith, and answering questions means to ruffle the feathers of others, because that’s how her lovely family is. Ask them a hard question and they will dismiss it, sweep it under the rug kinda attitude, and if you would press on, they start getting annoyed, and they will imply to people that their faith is not strong enough “if they don’t believe without seeing”.

And if you know today, right after the heels of a certain famous Christian author and pastor, the news of a certain prominent worship leader leaving the faith because “the church doesn’t talk about those hard questions”. But seeing his list of questions, they are not uncommon in our Connect platform.

With that saying, thank you @CarsonWeitnauer you did not just build an open and safe environment for seeking answers to questions for your children, but for so many people out there. If only those prominent Christians have access to this platform, they might not have to leave the faith. Or maybe they already do, who knows. 1 soul lost is too many anyway. Praying for them to find their way back. And a reminder of what we are about in here and our mission.

More people need access to apologetics. Thanks RZIM Connect team! Blessings to you all.


I always appreciate your posts but it really helps to hear the story of those behind them. How the Lord kept you heading His way could have only happened to you because you are unique and special in all of the world. There is no one more dearer to Him than you are and you can see that as He honored your desire for truth.

A word stuck out to me in this post that I will store in my memory bank - duplicity. It was a wonderful reminder to me in my walk to avoid such a thing!

Thanks so much Brittany!!!


@Brittany_Bowman1, thank you so much for sharing your journey in Christ. Its beautiful to see how God had you in His hands all along even when you didn’t feel it. Your honesty and passion for the truth come through your posts and have encouraged me many a times. May God continue to use you mightily and reach many with His love.


@Brittany_Bowman1 I am sorry I missed your post. But I am glad I was just browsing and saw your post was still bolded. Love your honesty and your heart. You have been such a blessing to this site and the welcome team. Thank you for taking the time to share your journey with us. God-bless.


@Brittany_Bowman1, I am responding so late to this post! But I am so happy to be given a glimpse into how the Lord has been moving in your life from the time you were young.

I really like this sentence:

living out the Bible made sense because I could see how loving others and being loved unconditionally by God changed life.

It challenges me to look at how I live my life.

I can relate to having a teacher (mine was in college) question your faith. I admire how you always seemed to be honest with yourself about what you believed and to get to the root of your questions.

It’s interesting to me that as a child, it was loving others and being loved unconditionally by God that led you to believe, and then, as a teenager, it was the difficulty of loving others when you were going through “the motions” that led you to face your questions about God head-on. Indeed love is the greatest apologetic!

I am so grateful that you found apologetics…and RZIM Connect :slight_smile:

Thanks for sharing, Brittany!