Testimony of God giving me identity and a healed marriage

My testimony is one of head knowledge becoming heart knowledge and being set free from a number of ungodly mindsets. It is also one of God bringing reconciliation and healing within my marriage.
(This was a challenge for me to write, and God even brought more healing to me as I did it!)

I was brought up in a Christian home and had a very happy childhood. I was taught from a Biblical worldview, I understood who God was and salvation through Christ. I gave my life to God when I was young and was baptised aged 9. However from my teen years onwards, I struggled with my identity, as many teenagers do. My relationship with my dad completely broke down and disappeared, and mum acted as an intermediary almost on a daily basis. My self esteem went crushingly low. At this time, my church had a split and closed down and I was never able to settle into the new one we started attending. I started to seek a sense of approval and worth from guys, desperate for male affirmation. It was a downward spiral from there, really. I started keeping secrets from my parents, I’d be out partying into the early hours. When I was 17 I fell ill with glandular fever that left me bedridden for 4 months. Slowly I started to come out of the worst of it but it impacted my life radically from then on. Age 18, I met my husband to be and started dating him (finally ending another relationship I was already in). I married Alex in my first year of university, aged 20. At 22, I was offered a job as a full time secondary History teacher. I was thrilled, but couldn’t imagine getting through one day of teaching, let alone a week, month or term. My fatigue from my illness was so restrictive. The day before I began my new job, I went forward in church for healing. Whilst being prayed for, the pastor’s wife had a word of knowledge that I’d let my glandular fever become my identity. As she spoke those words, I physically felt it come away from me. It was like I shed something from my body. I started my new job the following day, 100% healthy. I’ve never been hampered by fatigue or heaviness since, praise God!

God had broken through one layer of my life, but there was much more healing to take place in my spirit. Through all this, my husband was as needy as I was in many respects and our marriage was on shaky ground from the start. We seriously discussed the issue of divorce at least 3 times in the first 5 years of marriage! For some reason, each time one of us wanted a divorce,the other one of us would somehow be strengthened to fight for the marriage. I now look back and know that was God’s hand on us. Our relationship was non existent. A couple in our church discipled us through this. We started our relationship again, going on dates, abstaining from any physical intimacy. Our relationship had been based on all the wrong things, very unequally balanced and with sex, manipulation and control at the heart of it. This time we were guided to build it on God instead, with a heart of purity and respect for each other and respect for ourselves at the centre.

To this day, I praise God regularly for the next several years of healing that took place in my husband, in myself and in our marriage. God stripped everything back and started us again. It was painful and ugly, and God helped us through it, step by painful step. I also had ten years of acute condemnation and guilt that God had to heal me from. I had daily thoughts of self accusation and self hatred from the awful choices I’d made in the tricky years. This took hours of prayer from some faithful people who stood by me and ministered to me.

My husband is not the man he was when I married him. He is amazing! I love him so much, and Gods changes and healing in him are incredible. Likewise, in me, God has rebuilt me together again, making me whole. Together, Alex and I have three kids, help in leadership roles in church and have a ministry to set up a Christian school so that we can help raise many more kids knowing a deep sense of Christ’s love and freedom. We’ve been married 15 years now. I also have a great relationship with both my parents now who have faithfully prayed for me my whole life.

The biggest scriptures that have impacted my life and have been crucial to being set free at different stages are:

Romans 12:2
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Psalm 103:12
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

God is so faithful and He continues to encourage and build me in my walk with Him.

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@artownsend May the Lord Jesus bless your family and ministry - what a wonderful testimony :slight_smile:

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God bless and keep your marriage safe, and always thank and praise God for this. He is to be praised!!!

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Simply marvelous, amazing, how the light always conquers darkness. Congratulations on your new life, and Ministry.
Mike

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Hello Allison! :raising_hand_woman: I am so thankful you shared your beautiful testimony, your words sang of God’s love throughout your life. I also truly appreciated the very raw and open feelings you shared. :hibiscus: I can imagine it was not easy, but so thankful for the joy and kindness you so brightly display. I am praying for you always, for your marriage, and for all those you will impact when you share your story! To Him be the glory. :pray:

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Thank you for saying that :grinning:. I very nearly didn’t share it but felt to go ahead after praying about it with my husband. I hope it can bring hope to others who have known struggles in their marriages. God can overcome!!

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@artownsend, I pray that God will continue to transform you everyday of your life until He perfects His will in your lives in Jesus name, amen. I believe God’s love is unconditional and knows no bounds.

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Thanks Alison for a wonderful testimony
I’m already marrried one year and this reading give us courage to keep going under God’s guidance
Many blessings

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Alison, I so appreciated your testimony and the courage it took to bless us. No one knows all of the dark hours you and Alex spent together. No one will ever know but you do and though I wouldn’t wish your situation on my worst enemy, you would not be who you are as a woman and as a couple without Him. Many don’t have such a dynamic story but it took a lot of perseverance to get there. I so admire you tenacity as well as your transparency.

Alison, what I say next will probably strike you as odd. When you stand up and make such a powerful profession of faith, be on guard for the enemy to do an end-around on you. When you muster the guts and tell us the Truth, the enemy doesn’t like it and will try and throw it back in your face. Be on guard and stand firm in what you & Alex have attained. If you find you two struggle a bit, shove it back right in the enemy’s face because you two are new creations in Jesus and nothing - no powers or heights or depths or anything in all of creation can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

May Jesus grow you two even tighter into Himself in the days ahead. Thank you for such a powerful testimony that does nothing but glorify the Name of Jesus. All praise to Him!

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Thank you :grinning:. Yes, we are so aware of the enemy’s schemes and have learned to be quick to recognise any attempt to cause disunity and strife. God has released us from so much that the enemy has lost many footholds, but I know we must stand firm and always keep praying. Thank you for your prayers.

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Wow Alison! What a wonderful encouraging testimony of the wholeness God wants us to walk in. You and your hubby have so much to offer a broken world. Thank you for letting Him heal you and your marriage and for sharing it with us and the world.

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Hi Alison :slightly_smiling_face:

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing testimony and the amazing work that God has done in your life and in your marriage. It is so encouraging and I am sure many people who read your testimony who may be struggling with feelings of brokenness in their lives and marriages will take courage from your story.

As life goes on we often forget the impact of just how much God has done in our lives, a life transformed by His miraculous grace and kindness. It is always interesting to me from scripture of how many times in the Old Testament that God keeps reinforcing to His people that He is the God who rescued His people out of the land of Egypt. God wants us to rest on the testimonies of what He has done so that we may have faith to trust in what He is doing.

God is good and God is faithful and I am sure there are many more amazing blessings of His grace to be poured out upon you and your families lives :slightly_smiling_face:.

God bless

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Thank you for sharing your background and your faith with us @artownsend. Immediately from the 1st few words I could sense God’s hand in your whole life. It is so good to read how the Lord has intervened not only in your marriage but in your personal quest to be able to share what has been done in your life. Marriage is a very difficult thing at times. Even Paul said that it is better for a man not to marry for if a man does marry there will be trouble. Thankfully you have overcome that difficulty. May you and your marriage continue to be blessed. And, thank you for your diligence here at Connect and the care you provide. :slight_smile:

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Alison, your story is a wonderful illustration which shows how God can take what seems hopelessly broken and make it into something beautiful. So many struggle with their marriages and in despair they give up. I have dear Christian friends who are in despair over the state of their marriage and I ache for them to know that God can provide healing like he did for you. May your encouraging testimony help many! :blush:

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Yes, this is so true. I love the analogy you give with the Israelites as I’m studying the lead up to their Exodus with my children right now. What they endured in the run up to God’s miraculous break through was so incredibly tough, and yet they see his sovereign hand override the situation. It’s exactly what God did for our marriage. Looking back, it is so faith building.

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Thank you @gchop @Keldon_Scott, I hope that our story can bring hope to the toughest of marriages. God didn’t just save our marriage, he transformed our marriage and our hearts. I want people to know who don’t yet that God is our hope, our restorer and our healer.

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Dear Ms. Alison.,

I am pretty sure the responses here must supercede other things in which you feel hesitant. I can not even begin to say how fortunate I feel you opened your heart this way.

God bless you Ms. Alsion.
Blessings,
~Sanah~

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Thank you :grinning:. I think it can be a bit like falling backwards and trusting that the person behind you is going to catch you. I definitely felt like I was caught securely here!

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Allison, what an amazing testimony of how God can heal a marriage when we turn to Him and are willing to bend to His will! I also loved your story of personal healing. God DOES heal people physically today! I have had a miracle of physical healing in my past also. Thank you for sharing! :grinning:

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I know! And it’s so easy to forget what God has done, or at least I find it so. It’s really helpful to share these stories to remind ourselves and build one another up along with the word. I’d love to know how he healed you! :grinning:

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