This may come as a surprise but when I gave my life to Jesus everything changed very very quickly.
On new years eve alot happened, as if my entire being went through Gods fire wall. Jesus was knocking at the door to my heart louder than ever before. Until I screamed… “WHAT!!!”
JESUS shot me through the head (Im meaning this all entirely figuretivley here) and dragged my lifeless body across the floor with his shepards crook.
I kicked and screamed and fought against his love and wrath every step of the way, even though I knew I had lost the battle. Like an idiot I was still holding onto self.
All the way to his private jet, tied me to the outside of the plane And…then. Take off.
It was as if Jesus was flying this plane, and I was hanging onto the outside tail with a fishing wire. And the wheels are leaving the ground.
Im screaming stop, please slow down. But he just speed up, and up and up until we reached the stratosphere and I saw my mistake.
I was so sure I had got rid of everything faith related, especially Christianity. I hated it, I hated Christians and the teachings. The idea my lovely Grandad could go to hell because he simply had no idea made me boil with rage.
And in the end, going against a force greater than myself proved to be a battle I was not about to win. Try as I might. But in the end, it was like trying to stop a high speed train by standing in front of it.
See the truth is, I do not have gender dysphoria. I didnt lie… I was wrong. I believed I did for 2 years, not my entire life like people who genuinly have this condition do. So in no way, shape or form am I generalizing my experience with theirs.
The truth is… The real truth is.
I was having such bad luck with women, it drove me to a bed of suicide. And then I came up with a genuis answer…
Maybe if I cant be with a woman, I can become one. Then she wont have to leave me. It felt like a brilliant idea and I convinced myself of it to a point that I no longer remembered the underlying foundations, the origin it was born from.
To everyone here, I deeply deeply thank all of you for your gracious answers. You have all been so kind and so understanding towards this it has blown me away!
In a way, going through this experience did show me what life is like for transgender people. And I tell you, many if they read these responces would be just as surprised.
You guys truly do know a peace that surpasses all understanding. And I think now… That I am too.
God bless you all x