Peace from our Lord Christ Jesus be with you all!
I found that many people expect to hear some tragedies or miracles when they asked how I became a believer. I always told them I don’t have amazing or surprising stories to share, but to be honest, every story about being saved is indeed AMAZING!
Here is my journey:
So, as a Chinese, I was raised up as an atheist, but as most Chinese, I still believe in some god that I wasn’t able to name, especially when I knew something unjust, I wished there is some god to do the justice. I had great interest in living as a “good” person and was influenced by Confucius.
About 5 or 6 years ago, I kept being troubled by the sense of lacking some truth in my heart. I was a good and nice person from outside, but I know from inside that I was forced to be nice to build a good impression. That nice person was not my true self. Sometimes, I would be so angry or evil in my thought. I was disappointed and felt strengthless, and also confused. What’s more, I came from an unhappy family, which led me think about the meaning of life.
One day, I came across the biography of Mother Teresa from school library. (I am a teacher in a primary school) I was deeply touched and wondered so much what power on earth was Mother Teresa talking about. I learned she is a Catholic, as a result, I signed up for a 6-month course at a very big local Catholic church. I was determined to become a Catholic as Mother Teresa. However, I only learned some rituals, nothing touched my soul. I tried to persuade myself to believe the teaching because it is at least the same faith Mother Teresa held. However, this self brainwashing practice didn’t work, so I quitted the course when it nearly came to an end. I was disappointed and hopeless about going back to square one…
After being troubled for another two years, I got to know a course called Christianity Explored from a believer of my friend. I only met that lady once! This time, I was more try-and-see style, not expecting anything because I didn’t wanna be disappointed again. The teaching was different from the Catholic church! There were questions not answered during discussions, but I was OK with it. When it came to the part about sins, I agreed with the concept because I know how many thoughts that I would never share with others since they are too evil! So, after the course finished, I decided to attend a fellowship group as a nonbeliever and asked a lot of questions. Those people were very nice to me and they are my sisters and brothers now!
I remembered clearly one night, when I was reading the crucification of Jesus Christ and what he called out from the cross, my soul was deeply touched by his love and sacrifice! I accepted Lord Jesus Christ as my only savior!
At the beginning, I came to God because I wanna be comforted by Him, I wanted my questions to be answered, I wanted to be protected and blessed. Amazingly, gradually, I got to know more about Him, especially during the pandemic, I became more attracted to His holiness, His love, His justice, Him as the Almighty Creator! The more I meditate on His attributes, the more blessed and grateful I feel! I praise and thank God!
I still have a lot to learn and practice, and I pray that I fight the good fight and can be called a faithful servant when I see Him on that day! All this can be done only in Christ!
Thanks for reading and GOD BLESS YOU ALL!