When we watch films or read books, we mostly continue on in anticipation of what happens next. The conflict, the uncertainty the drama, we can’t seem to get enough of it.
Since I was a little child, I indulged in many of these stories, through documentories, books, animated shows. They satisfied my curious mind in ways only stories could, which is a stark contrast to my boring reality as a child. I would spend days in fantasy, away from what was around me and that which was ingrained in me was the building block which would set the direction of my life.
I made a decision that I would pursue the life of a comic artist, to draw beautiful worlds, interesting characters and tell stories which would impact and change the lives of those who read them. I grew up in a Christian family but God was nothing more than a religious figure in my life and therefore I never really made any connection that he could be part of my personal life.
Unfortunately, as I grew older, I became engrossed in work and acheivement. Drawing became something I did to be better than people at, I had to be the best to gain spotlight to be recognized. I had to be the smartest and the most talented, anything that doesn’t cut I would not accept. I lost sight of the child like curosity and dream God provided me with and started becoming a very depressed and selfish person.
As one would expect, life hit badly. Horrible relationships and rejection, failure and depression started to creep in. I fell into many bad habits such as toxic mindsets, cutting, drinking and taking pills to get high and to numb the pain and problems. Ironically, no one knew. It was shocking how normal I appeared in front of most people, yet I really wanted to give up on life but was scared of going to hell. I had no one to turn to and I was so tired.
It took quite a while but my pain forced me to seek God and find comfort in him. One day, through God’s intervention a video from Elevation Church popped up on my feed, the preacher, being Steven Furtick. Out of curiosity I gave it a go and that was where my journey with God seriously started. It took a very very long time but bit by bit I started to understand God for myself. Through a series of God arranged events and invitations, I ended up being more involved in RZIM events in my country and joining a Japanese church through the invitation of one of the RZIM speakers while pursuing apologetics and being given the opportunity to serve on Connect.
So… after everything, what’s my point? Part of me realized that me even being able to type this is all God planned. I’ve always been so focused on writing my own stories that it seems that I’ve forgotten about God’s. Controlling and doing what I think should be right to achieve my desired outcome only led me to a dead end where God started actively writing his story through me. There’s a lot of things I don’t understand or like about my life, similiar to many of the stories in the Bible. However, through my weakness and confusion Gods love and plan showed the clearest.
The characters in the stories cease to understand their situation, yet it’s through the conflict whereby the story progresses. Just like that, I’ve found a new purpose to continue crafting out art and stories.
Each and every one of our lives, like the many lives of the characters in the bible are weaved into the big picture of God’s loving story and despite the uncertainty and what is going on around us, I’m looking forward to see how it all pans out in each of our lives. Thank you for reading