The Lord works in mysterious ways

(Russell Mashburn) #1

My world was turned upside down.The mother of my child now ex became pregnant by me not planned and she decided not to keep her. I told her I’ll take care of my child just don’t kill her. I pleaded with her not to, even begged her not to go through with it. I prayed Lord open her heart please. She went through with it and it destroyed me. I began having health problems and felt that this will kill me. All I could think about is my angel in her belly and my 3 year old daughter Ellie. The Lord has stepped in my life multiple times before, but I was so hurt I didn’t know what to do. She had a chemical abortion. It was done. I decided that I can’t handle this burden of guilt and pain. I prayed in desperation one night and the next day when I woke up the burden was gone. I felt that it was gone. My daughter was with God and what better place could there be. Then I thought… He created us, he’s our true Father in heaven. I thought about the scripture when he says… If you love your family more than me then you’re not fit for the kingdom of heaven. I told my friend about this. Hes going through a difficult time and he apologized and said I couldn’t handle that if it was me. I said it’s ok. The burden is gone. The Lord took it from me.

I always ask the Lord to help me and protect me, but I never thought to give the Lord my burden. I’ve read in the scripture about it before, but never thought about it. My guilt might have been why. I pray for my ex and hope she will be forgiven. So on that day coming I feel I’ll get to hold my girl thanks to our righteous Lord.

(Kathleen) #2

@Russmash1 - so beautiful that the Lord met you during that anguishing time and lifted that burden. I cannot even imagine your heartbreak, but I too am thankful that God loves our dear ones more than we ever could ourselves. The entrusting process is not an easy one, to be sure.

(Russell Mashburn) #3

Thanks for the reply Kathleen. Awful things happen, but faith and wisdom can be gained in Christ. To me it’s clear evidence of his absolutely love. He took my burden immediately. I feel like the hardest times of suffering is when we’re the most receptive to his divine intervention.

(Sieglinde) #4

God bless you. I can hear your heart in this. I am so thankful we have a personal God who meets us in our darkest hours. I cannot fathom the pain you have endured. Thank you for sharing this with us! :broken_heart: :heart:

(Russell Mashburn) #5

Thanks Sig. I know I’m helpless without him. The Lord has protected my heart, my soul, and he keeps me safe. At the lowest of times he comforts me at just the right moment. He’s my rock.

(Stephen Wuest) #6

RSV Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
RSV 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties on him, for he cares about you.
NIV Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
NIV Psalm 139:7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
NIV Hebrews 5:7 During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.

NIV Revelation 21:3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” 5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

Although we mourn over the trauma in this life, it is not death that is an impossible problem for God. Our Lord has gone through death, and God raised him up to live forever.

The early Church celebrated the deaths of the Christian martyrs as their “birthdays,” and met year by year to celebrate the day on which children of God finished the race, and entered into the rest of God.

The children of God’s people were always considered to be under the protection of God’s covenant, even when the children were too young to understand this. And we trust that our Lord will show compassion to children who die, before they are old enough to understand how to choose to seek God.

We do not wish awful trauma on anyone. When we did not cause it, and cannot stop it, we feel terribly helpless. But in these worst nightmares, we can understand that our Lord has gone through terrible suffering and death, and he has made a way through suffering and death. He has radically transformed trauma and death, forever. We still feel the pain and suffering, and we mourn. but now it is in the context of the hope of the resurrection, and a new world.

(Russell Mashburn) #7

Thank you Stephen for the awesome post. I love Psalms 139 verse 7-10!!! Powerful.

About 5 years ago i would self medicate. I was prescribed a drug called Suboxone that just doped me up (also very addictive). I wanted to feel good all the time. One night I woke up about 3:30am with a prompt to get help now. I was in excruciating pain in my side and knew I can’t live this way. I went to the emergency room and when I was about to walk through the front door evil tried to stop me from getting help. I had thoughts pop up that weren’t my Lord. Things like… Just go back home, no one will even know, you don’t need this. Etc.

I stood strong and walked into the e.r. I started a week long detox program. Before you start they put you in a small sized room that felt like a prison. When your rooms ready they take you to a building where you’ll stay.

I arrived and they take your belt in case you try hanging yourself. They put me in a room with two beds and a shatter proof mirror and sink.

I lay down in the little twin bed… Rock meet Bottom. I began crying so hard. I was somewhere unfamiliar feeling lost and in pain. That’s when Jesus comforted me. I didn’t hear the words I felt the words say… It’s ok. It doesn’t matter where you are because I’m always with you. I immediately had a wave of comfort fill my whole body and I slept. I went through the week with ease and grew closer to the Lord. I met people with similar issues that felt strength from me (which is only through the Lord. I will not say it’s from me. That’s another trap from evil btw) stay humble like apostle Paul and the thorn in his side. I feel that might be why the Lord wouldn’t take his condition from him. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

That’s why the scripture in Psalms 139 speaks to me so much. No matter where you are he is there. I felt lost, scared, in pain physically, withdrawals coming and I was at comfort through Christ.

Depend on Christ and pray for his divine love in times of desperation. When everything is going well don’t set the need for him aside and don’t think I’ve got this because you don’t.