The past coming back

Something I’ve done in the past has come back and opened an old wound in my marriage. I’ve since then repented of those ways but my wife is now reliving the hurt that I had once caused. I have never been with another woman besides my wife, but because of what I’ve done she doesn’t believe me. I’ve done my absolute best to repent of my old ways and get closer to God and live like He ask us to but the closer I get something like this happens. I don’t want to lose my family please pray for me thank you.


Hi John David, I wanted to reply to you immediately and let you know I’m praying for your marriage and relationship. There are some things I may be able to share with you to encourage you soon as well. I know from personal experience how painful it will feel for both of you right now. There is hope for a whole and healed marriage, because we know that God is the healer of the broken hearted. Bless you.


Thank you so very much for your words of encouragement and yes we do worship a God who heals the broken hearted. Again thank you so very much for responding and I really do appreciate your prayers for my family thank you and God bless


Hello John, my wife and I are praying for complete restoration and standing in the gap, we understand, my friend.

I feel I should share what encouraged us.

1 Peter Chapter 5 and this passage as well.
You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.
I John 4:4 NKJV

God grant you both His peace and forgiveness.


Thank you so very much Mike for your words of encouragement and sharing scripture with me I truly appreciate it. I also appreciate all your prayers for me and my family thank you so very much God bless.

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Hi John

I also echo the prayers of Alison and Mike for you. Praying for you and your family and protection from the Enemies attacks upon your life and marriage :pray:. God is good and God is faithful! I understand that we don’t have the full backstory but I hope you also have other Christians and close friends who you can talk with and support your family during this time. If you have people you trust then please speak with them as well. The tactic of the enemy is often to divide and conquer and so having other believers as support is very important.

I hope you don’t mind me asking you a few questions that you may just want to think on yourself:

Do you believe that you are forgiven from all your sins through the blood of Jesus and so are a completely new creation in Him? Do you feel shame or condemnation for your sins still?

Even though your wife doubts you on your past, does she believe that you are worthy of forgiveness?

To forgive can often take time and a period of healing. Christ has forgiven you and your wife is called to do the same- though it can be incredibly hard at times. Keep focusing on Christ, loving Christ, loving your wife, and know that you have Christians who love you and are praying for healing in your marriage! Remember, God is always good and always faithful.


I am very sorry that your wife doesn’t believe you. Forgiveness is important, but trust is also. I hope she has forgiven you. Forgiveness is not something you can earn.

But trust is something different. Trust takes time. Most of us have, at one time or another, been wronged by someone whom we were willing to forgive - but we knew there would need to be some accountability going forward. They had revealed a weakness that we couldn’t naively turn our back on. Trust does have to be earned.

If that is the issue here, then perhaps you could ask her what you could do to regain her trust - what kind of accountability would she accept from you?

I hope it helps - and I will pray for you right now.


Hey John @JohnDavid, I’m so sorry you’re in a difficult time. I would echo what James said, ask her what it takes to earn her trust back. Do as she say and give her as much time for healing. She may relive this again and again but remind her that you are still there with her and that you’ll always be there. Try to also understand what may trigger her to remember and doubt again. Continue to love her regardless the outcome, she will then see that you are truly there for her regardless.

You’ll be in my prayers.
Also, remember this is the time when God is actually the closest to you, even if you may not feel it. Trust in him. God Bless You.


Thank you so very much Brian for you words of and encouragement and prayers for me and my family. The answers to your questions yes I do I believe I’m saved by the blood of Jesus Christ our Savior, and I’m truly sorry and shameful for the sins I have committed. I will be praying every day that my wife forgives me. Thank you so very much for your prayers Brian I really do appreciate it God bless


John, what a difficult time for you. I will be praying for you and for your wife. I’ll be praying for the Spirit to help your wife to heal and trust you, and that your love for her will be obvious as you wait for peace in your marriage. :heart:


Hi John

Thanks for your reply. I am glad that you know that the blood of Jesus Christ has redeemed you from all sin. The second part of my first question was not to say in anyway that you should still feel shamed or condemned for those sins. It was more to just know how you are feeling about things as many times we may say that we are forgiven through Christ but live and feel still a sense of unworthiness or shame from our past. My prayer is that you also come into the freedom and joy of knowing that every sin has been crucified with Christ.

Romans 8:1-2: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.

Romans 10:11: For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”

Praying for you John :slightly_smiling_face:!

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Thank you so very much for your words of encouragement and prayer. I truly appreciate you reaching out to me and greatly appreciate your prayers for me and my family, thank you for your advice and reminding me that God is close even though things are difficult. Thank you again God bless

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Thank you so very much I truly appreciate you reaching out to me and thank you for all your prayers God bless

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Thank you and yes that truly did help and thank you so very much for reaching out to me and thank you for your prayers God bless

May God bless you @JohnDavid.

We do have an enemy that whispers in our ear, “you’re never really going to change.” I pray you will be able to discern the truth spoken into your heart by the Spirit from the lies spoken by Satan. Stand on the promise that God will complete the work he has begun in you. You are defined by your relationship to the Son, not your past. You are an heir to the Almighty chosen before the foundation of the earth.

My experience is that painful emotional hurts that need healing have many layers. That’s why they seem to come back over and over. I pray that the process of healing for you and your wife will progress and layer by layer both of you and your marriage will be fully restored. Praise the Lord that we worship a God of restoration.

Peace be with you and your family, brother. God bless.


Thank you so very much Jennifer for reaching out to me. Thank you for those words of encouragement and continued prayers for me and my wife I truly appreciate it God bless

John, I am praying right now for your marriage.

Colossians 3:13-15

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Thank you so very much Abraham for your prayers I truly appreciate it God bless

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God will work things out John. I’ll continue praying.

Psalm 20:1-4


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Amen thank you brother