Oh my! I wasn’t aware that you could share artistic content here. That would be cool if I could do that. I would love to share what I have with you.
Whew, well my experience with Christianity has been quite a journey. I’m a pastor’s kid, so that has had it’s whole set of drama. (Interestingly enough, my first to-be published book is a fictional commentary on what it’s like to be a PK).
The church I’m at is pretty charismatic, although they don’t care that much for the name. They prefer to study Scripture and build community. A lot of doctrine heavy or social programs.
It’s actually a really good church. But like I said, being a PK has been hard. The experience is just different than the local parishioner.
On top of that I’ve been homeschooled in a Christian curriculum. (The doctrine it taught was Southern Baptist. I took what was helpful and left out what wasn’t.)
Anyways, most people know about the whole PK-snap. That time when the supposed good child just loses it and rebels. I rebelled in subtle ways, though. I started questioning a lot in my youth group. Sometimes I got good answers, most times I was (or felt like I was) treated as a nuisance who was trying to disprove faith so she could skat.
But I wasn’t. I just really wanted truth. (At some point during this searching phase I was also introduced to Calvinism which, safe to say, took me on the worst rollercoaster ride of my emotional life. Seriously. I found atheistic objections less existentially threatening. Scratch that–I found literally any other worldview less existentially threatening. Postscript, I’m still not a Calvinist and don’t think I will ever be, but either way, if you love Jesus, you love Jesus, y’know? I’ll see you in heaven either way. )
Anyways, growing up is still pretty hard. I feel like I’d been in Neverland my whole life and now I had discovered dingy, stinky London. (No offense to the English. I just really love Peter Pan).
Life is way more complicated than it used to be, but then again, I guess that’s what discovery is all about. I could either be threatened by it or excited by it. I choose the latter.
Also, also, I don’t want to be so stuck on finding truth that I don’t live it out. Two things I know for all my short years is that no one knows everything and life is meant for living.
So I’m trying to have that balance even as I go to college. Learning and living and living what I learn.
It’s tough, but it ain’t boring!