Thank you for your heartfelt question. It is always incredibly sad to hear and read of anybody who comes to the point where they feel the only option is to end their life. It is especially hard when they are people who are supposed to have a faith in God which is meant to give them greater peace and hope. I do think the Scriptures certainly help to give us some answers to this question in regard to the depravity of sin and the flesh nature. Two passages about sin that I find often helpful are:
Genesis 4:4-7:The Lord looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”
James 1:12-15: Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.
The sin/ flesh nature desires to rule over each person and ultimately kill them. Romans 7 even describes sin almost as a separate entity or force that makes us do things that we really don’t want to do. The problem is that many of us Christians tolerate sin in our lives and so we accept some sins as just part of who we are. We don’t give our wills fully over to Jesus to give Him free-range to sanctify and wash clean every part of us. We are not saved by sin from our ability to remember the Bible and teach, nor are we saved from the power of sin from our wisdom and ability to counsel people well- we are saved through the grace of God. The way all of us are to live is in submitted and surrendered lives to Christ so that He is God of everything of who we are.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24: Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.
The reason they and many of us don’t seek help with any of our sins (this is not only suicide but any other sin) is because the flesh wants to destroy us ad kill us. It is prideful and selfish, and for healing to occur it takes humility and surrender. It is why small groups for Christians are so vital where we can be honest and vulnerable with each other and actually deeply know each other, where we can confess sin to one another and help each other to be set free from bondage. So very important. A friend of mine got trapped in bondage and was struggling with a sin that he had allowed to become deep rooted and overpower him, he didn’t want to tell anybody what he was struggling with and stopped attending our small group because he didn’t want anybody to know. He eventually became isolated and stopped going to church, not because he didn’t love Jesus, but because he believed the shame would be too great. It got to the point where he had suicidal thoughts and begged God to end his life. You see, the sin nature and the enemy will do everything to destroy you, to divide and conquer. The amazing thing was that The Lord brought him in contact with friends who saw his brokenness and they started having regular meetings, he confessed his sin and the healing was almost immediate. I have seen the before and after in his life and the transformation was miraculous (I hadn’t even noticed what was happening with him myself, I just thought he was become rude and dismissive).
Sorry for this incredibly long answer Kathy but you have asked an important question and I hope what I have said so far is helpful. I would just like to lastly say that when speaking to others that this is something to learn from- it should make us cling to Jesus more, not less. If we have placed people on a pedestal then that is our mistake. The gospel is true, Jesus is our Saviour, not only from the consequence of sin but also its power, and He promises to crucify in us the sin nature if we allow Him (Romans 6:5-7). Let any sin in the church, be it suicide or adultery, be an event that draws people into closer connections, to be honest and sincere with each other, to confess sins, and to show love and grace. Then the healing can begin and Christ’s light can shine through the darkness.