Why does God make some people gay?

Hello brothers and sisters!!! I hope everything is going great and let’s give honor and praise to our savior!

Backstory:
So, I was talking to my sister today and she asked me out of the blue, “why does God make people gay?”, and I was surprised, but also very happy to answer this question! So here is my what I said to her:

(LONG ANSWER :D)
“Honestly, I don’t know why God allows people to be straight or gay; I simply don’t know, but what I do know is this. Sin regardless of what culture or society may deem is “okay” or “acceptable” is ultimately sin. Everything we do in our daily lives such as telling white lies or talking bad behind someone’s back is no less or greater in evil than homosexuality itself. Think of it this way; through the eyes of an all-perfect and loving God, how dirty and evil would we look from his perspective? We would all look the same. We as humans categorize sin in different levels of severity, but in the end, sin is sin, and we all fall short in the glory of God. So my answer is pretty simple, I don’t know why he allows it, but I can say with 100 percent confidence that homosexuality, like all the other sins such as committing lust, talking bad about someone, judging people, committing sexual immorality, worshipping idols, and many more sins are still considered bad in the eyes of God. Of course, I know that these people can’t control who there attracted to, but they truly love God, I believe that they would do anything in their will to not indulge in their attraction and this applies to everyone including me. This is why, ultimately, that we as Christians should not discriminate against those with different backgrounds because we all sin and need a perfect savior like Jesus! His sacrifice makes us finally blameless in the eyes of our heavenly Father, but now it’s up to them to accept God’s forgiveness or turn away from it.”

So, my question to y’all is, how would you address this question? I know that it may be hard to answer this problem but I would love your opinions and corrections so I can be better prepared in the future!

God bless y’all and have a great day!

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Greetings LJ! Thanks for sharing this timely and pertinent question, which I believe, is asked quite often these days. It was sweet and kind of you to both hear your sisters concern and to give a wonderful, heartfelt response. It touched my heart, :innocent:
I noticed the heading question was a bit different than your responding question, i.e. why does God make people gay, vs why does God allow people to be gay.
In the first scenario, God does not make people gay, citing the latest vast, thorough study, which was 100 times greater than any previous study, the results yield that there is no gay gene, “https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/science/there-is-no-gay-gene-there-is-no-straight-gene-sexuality-is-just-complex-study-confirms”.
The issue is polygenic, “Sexuality cannot be pinned down by biology, psychology or life experiences, this study and others show, because human sexual attraction is decided by all these factors.”
Now we all know and realize that the question of why God allows sin, can be summarized from the concept of original sin, St Augustine vs Pelagius and oh so many other historical debates. I suppose a deeper question is why did God allow the fall which is queried, at least in some regard, here:" All mankind . . . lost communion with God, are under his wrath and curse, and so made liable to all miseries in this life, to death itself, and to the pains of hell forever( Westminster Shorter Catechism , Q19)."
Sin has a horrendous effect on mankind, not only in being gay, but all miseries of life.
It is our hope and prayer to care deeply for all people who are gay hoping that God’s Holy Spirit should have mercy and grace on them and allow us to love them without all our preconceived notions hindering us.
I have lived a lifetime seeing, believing and trusting that it is God’s love that accomplishes those things we sometimes deem impossible. Peace and grace my friend.

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Hi, @ljhan40 :wave:

One thing I have recently learned through this platform about responding to people with different sexual orientation or gender expression is to prayerfully assure them from the start that God loves them and is reaching out to them just as He does with other sinners. That before a holy God, every sin is worth His Son’s sacrificial death on the cross.

If he/she would take offense and feel like being judged as a sinner with this approach, you just turn his/her accusation towards you back to him/her and ask if he/she considers him/herself a sinner apart from being gay? By this we would like to establish a common ground that we are just as sinful as any gay is, or anyone else for that matter. Without highlighting the side issue of homosexuality, we go straight to the issue of depravity and lead him/her to the One who loves us so much that He died for our forgiveness, and lives on for our glorification.

We do not have to convert their sexual preference first before we could share them about Christ. It is God’s part to change them. It is ours to let to them know of this Good News of redemption.

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This is a great question, and thanks for sharing it and your response to it. I think it’s wonderful that you answered it, but still felt moved to try to find even better ways to respond. It’s one of the marks of a genuine truth-seeker.

If I was being asked the question, my response would be, “Well, let’s define ‘gay,’ shall we?” There is a difference between having homosexual tendencies and attractions vs. indulging those tendencies and attractions. It is analogous to having genetic predisposition to alcoholism and being an alcoholic. There are many people whose lineage clearly are marred with alcoholism. It is known to “run in the family,” and I have been told there is genetic predisposition towards it. Let’s assume that’s true for sake of discussion. The question is: Is someone with genetic predisposition to alcoholism but who NEVER takes a drink an alcoholic? The answer is no. You are not addicted to alcohol until you indulge in it.

So the question, “Why does God make people gay?” already assumes that He does, when in fact He does not. He may, however, make people who by the nature of their own genetics or environment, have homosexual inclinations and tendencies. But it is possible for someone to never act on those predispositions, thus they never become “gay.” I think the answer to the question, “Does God make people gay?” is no.

But now that we have defined the terms, I think it is quite possible for people to be made predisposed to predilection for sins of all types, homosexual tendencies included. In fact, it is quite Biblical that we have all been made with tendencies towards some kind of sins of one type or another. And homosexual tendencies are, by far, not the most prevalent.

I have never met a person who has not lied about something when they thought doing so would benefit them and they thought they could get away with it. If you want to make an argument about a sinful predisposition that may be ingrained into our genetic code, this would be an easy one to argue, since 100% of us have a tendency to do this. And yet, despite lying being a part of “who we are,” we teach our children to resist the tendency to do so. You see, predilection toward a certain behavior does NOT mean that we should celebrate said behavior as good. Just because something comes “naturally” to us does NOT mean we should do it.

In addition, just because a particular behavior FEELS right, doesn’t make it so. Proverbs had it right: There is a way that seems right to a man, but it only leads to death! Just because a behavior seems or feels right, does not make it right.

The truth is that God has made each of us with these sinful tendencies–this is the doctrine of original sin–because ALL of us, if given carte blanche freedom, would eventually choose to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil like Adam and Eve did in Genesis. It’s not because of Him. It’s because of us that we have these predilections.

But here’s the good news: God has made a way for us to escape the consequences for acting on these tendencies, and that way is salvation by grace through the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t matter what the sin is that so easily besets us. The forgiveness and atonement for those sins is freely offered.

So the very short answer to the question, “Why does God make some people with homosexual tendencies/attractions?” is so that they can lay those down at His feet in repentance, just like we need to lay our sinful tendencies down in similar repentance.

For a more in-depth answer–and a much more personal one–I refer you to another similar response I gave in this thread:

Hope that helps!

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Great response! Thank you🙏

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Wow! Awesome answer. We live in a fallen world which impacts our genetics. Our genetic code was perfect in the Garden. God didn’t give us these inclinations at birth but we are nonetheless born with them but it doesn’t originate with Him.

He gives us free will.

Thank you everyone for sharing your perspectives on this relevant topic. My response doesn’t really answer the original question mostly I hope to imagine what it might must be like to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. It also comes from conversations I have had with Christian and non-Christian homosexuals.

This topic I find to be particularly difficult because there are genuine people out there who have struggled with these feelings of attraction all their life, have tried to “pray the gay away” and have come up short. Are we to tell them that they “are living in sin” if they want to pursue a relationship with someone? Do we say the same thing to someone who has been divorced and then remarried? Many people, regardless of their sexual orientation, want to experience the basic human desire of being loved and chosen by another human being. It is a wonderful feeling to know that someone loves you and accepts all your imperfections enough to want to spend the rest of their life with you. It’s the same feeling that any single person has, to look at couples and desire that for themselves. It isn’t deemed a sin when a heterosexual has those desires and starts a relationship, but it is deemed sinful for a homosexual to.

Most likely a Christian who has been struggling with this all their life has heard every argument and read every verse pertaining to their struggle. They are not approaching it from a selfish, sinful mindset, it is a matter of the heart, of longing to be loved. How do we respond to them? Can we imagine what that must feel like? Perhaps for those who are single or to those who remember the struggles of waiting for “the perfect person.” The feeling that “it will never happen for me” is relevant and heart breaking. I too remember having those feelings. Now just imagine having those same feelings and top it up with the notion of shame and sin.

I try to put myself in their shoes, imagine if someone told me that I was living in sin for the person I chose to marry? In fact not to long ago, the person I married could have been sent to jail for marrying me as we are from two different races. It was deemed “unnatural” to be attracted to a different race, it was even believed that there was something mentally wrong with you.

So although we can say “sin is sin,” I think we also have to recognize the matter of the heart in this case. There are homosexuals out there who want to follow God with all their heart, but they also have a yearning to be chosen by someone. They are in a difficult situation regardless of what they choose.

I know this point of view may seem controversial, but I think it still an important perspective to bring to the table, and I felt it a safe place to do so.

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I suppose I could have worded that better, but yes, I agree. IF our genetic code DOES give us inclinations, it’s not because of Him. It’s because of us.

But that’s a BIG IF! I was arguing from the standpoint of “even if it’s true,” not that it IS true. Assuming it still doesn’t justify sin.

And free will is AWESOME! ;-D

GREAT discussion, @rempel.meaghan.

Whenever you come to an existential question like the one you are posing, the first thing you should do is search the Scriptures to find how the Bible answers the question. You will not find a single reference in the Scripture which affirms homosexual behavior if you read the Scripture as it is written, without adding any preconceived notions about what it says. That is tough to do, but if you want the Scripture to be God’s Word, and not mine or yours or anyone else who isn’t as reputable or worthy, that’s what ya gotta do.

My study of the Scripture found several passages that affirm that homosexual behavior is sinful. I can not find one that affirms it as morally righteous in any way or in any way given even a neutral moral position.

So, ultimately, it DOES come down to MY wants and desires vs. God’s will for my life. We want our way. We have feelings we want satisfied, and sometimes those feelings lead to death (Proverbs, again). I wanted the same when I was addicted to porn. Trust me, the urges were every bit as strong! And every bit as sinful! This conflict between our wants and desires and God’s will goes FAR beyond sexuality, however.

And I hope you read in my linked response about Jesus and Paul. Jesus lived a “perfect life.” But he never even had sex. With ANYONE! Ever! As a man, He likely had urges, but submitted them under the will of His Father. When He was in the wilderness being tempted, having fasted for 40 days, Satan suggests He command stones to be made bread. What’s wrong with feeding a guy who hasn’t eaten in 40 days? It was not God’s purpose for Jesus. THAT is an even more fundamental urge–the urge to nourish oneself–than sexual urges. And the Apostle Paul, though not perfect like our Lord, also lived a life to be emulated…but he never had sex either. God’s purpose for these men was for them not to partake in that activity, despite the urges they may have had.

That is admittedly very difficult for us to accept. To accept that these urges, though very strong, and in some cases very noble, may still NOT be His perfect plan for our lives. And even though it is sometimes difficult to see, God is a God whose purposes you can trust to be better than yours. You can trust Him. He won’t let you down! He’s right 100% of the time!

But the cost to follow Him is sometimes very high. Look at Abraham who was ready to kill his one and only son, Isaac, in obedience to the Lord. Talk about submitted at a high cost! Jesus demonstrated that going to the cross willingly! Egad! Anyone that tries to convince someone with homosexual urges that following God’s will for their lives by never or no longer participating in homosexual behavior will be easy is not being truthful. We need to be honest about that. Choosing to follow Jesus can be VERY costly!

But on the other side of this, there are numerous examples–Sam Allberry is one–of people who have made the choice to shun these natural desires that they have had their whole lives, and instead submit to the will of the Father. And Sam and these others can confirm that although difficult, the blessings they have received for their obedience is far greater than the feelings that they would have experienced had they chosen to participate in, or continue participating in, those behaviors.

I think the most important thing for a homosexual Christian is repentance, NOT perfect behavior. When I was pursuing victory over my porn addiction, I had many setbacks. I wasn’t an overnight success story. But I at least admitted that what I was doing was wrong, and I decided I wanted to live a live that was more pleasing to the Father, and that meant submitting my will to His which allows the Holy Spirit to do the work of transformation in my life. I was pursuing righteousness. I wasn’t trying to justify the behavior any more, despite the difficulty of that choice. It is no different for our homosexually-inclined brothers and sisters. Same solution to a different urge to engage in a different sinful behavior. You can have a saved brother or sister who is still choosing to engage in those behaviors, just like I was still saved even though I would still fall back to those sinful behaviors I struggled with. But I had at least admitted to myself and to the Lord (and to my spouse) that I knew what I had been doing was wrong. That is fundamental to repentance, and it is one of the first steps in overcoming our sinful desires. The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one! :wink:

Oh, and P.S., it’s not JUST about behavior. Even the 10 Commandments show that thoughts and attitudes, i.e. coveting is sinful. BTW, coveting is NOT just having a desire. Coveting is focusing on that desire rather than choosing to focus on God’s desires instead. But this is where people make the most common mistake, and that is to try in our own power to focus on God’s desires. That. Doesn’t. Work. It is the Holy Spirit Who will work within you to change your heart’s desires from that which is sinful to that which is righteous. In other words, the feelings of homosexual attraction are NOT sinful themselves. It is the act of choosing to focus on the desire to fulfill those feelings instead of following God’s will that is the issue. This IS difficult for many homosexuals to see, because they believe–incorrectly–that homosexual behavior is part of who they are. It is not.

If you have not already read Sam Allberry’s excellent book Is God Anti-gay?, it would very likely be helpful to you in finding your own answer to this question. It’s a very good answer to a very good question!

Hope that is helpful.

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Hey, Meaghan thanks for your response on this matter and I really appreciate it! I definitely know what you’re talking about, and I get it, but I believe that humans live in sin every single day regardless of sexuality. So, I guess what I’m saying, is in the eyes of God he knows what people of different sexual orientation is going through, but like anyone, God gives us the choice to follow our own plan or his plans.

This is why I believe that sin applies to everyone:
For example, if a straight person were to look at another person with lust and never repent, but a person who is homosexual, lusts for someone, but repents, who do you think God will delight in more? Of course, it’s the person who repents; and again, I 100 percent get it that the marriage part is a huge deal. Like who am I to judge others, when I sin myself? But here’s the thing. I believe that since free will is given to every single person alive they can either decide who they want to marry or not, and that’s their choice, but I know for sure that a lot of gay Christians have surrendered everything to Jesus including their own desires so they can live in God’s perfect will rather than themselves. So ultimately, what I’m trying to say is, everyone regardless of race or sexuality needs to ultimately surrender everything to God and live for Him rather than acting on their own selfish desires, and of course, there may be problems for people if different sexuality in the topic of marriage, but are they willing to give up everything to follow the great “I AM”? If they are willing to, I 100 percent know that God will honor them in heaven with love and grace.

So what do we as Christians need to do?:
Easy, we need to love them as ourselves and tell them that God’s sovereign grace and love is for everyone regardless of their past or future. Also, if they decide to make a decision that goes against the Word of God, we are still commanded to love them like any other person because we are ourselves still sin and fall short in the glory of God!

Here are videos talking about why marriage and sexuality are sacred:


Male, female, married, single, gay, straight, young, old, lonely, tired, or rejected. We are called to control desires that are defined as sin in God’s word. Most often we cannot which is why Christ came.

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Hello in The Lord, Nikki! That’s pretty close to what I was going to submit. I have been asked questions very much along those lines throughout my life in Christ, but the one thing that always is forgotten when these questions come up is…the sin nature. Our Father did not create anyone to be homosexual. The sin nature causes these things in us. He did, as you know, send His only begotten Son to suffer and die in our place so that we might be set utterly free from sin.

Hey, Brother Brett! Yea, I’m a self admitted science nerd, coming from lifelong Jewish atheism where we worshipped science and knowledge.

How did you arrive at this same answer too? What does God show you about how our DNA was corrupted by the Fall & also subsequent intermingling of code from the fallen elohim?

What’s your favorite apologetic subject?

Dallas Willard once asked, “Would you say that God knows what He is talking about?” And if as believers, we say He does, then we must believe that He has a reason for why He says what He does. He does not just make arbitrary rules to make our lives miserable.

I greatly fear that in the church (at least in America) Christians have by their words and actions decided that God doesn’t know what He was talking about when He gave Moses prohibitions regarding homosexual behavior or when He prompted Paul to repeat the prohibitions for the early church.

The basic premise out there in society is that people are born gay. Christians are buying into this idea and now asking, so don’t they have a right to be happy? In reality, there have been no studies that have discovered a genetic predisposition. So why might someone have same-sex attractions? I have known a good number of believers who have had SSA or had at some time engaged in the life-style of homosexuality before the Lord met them in their needs. The underlying factors were different for each one. One fellow had a violent abusive father and vowed he would never be like his father, yet he longed for a father’s affirmation. Another fellow was a very smart child, but somewhat awkward socially. At age 5, other children were labelling him as gay and he began to believe them. Another fellow had a military father who criticized and shamed everything about him. He could never measure up or please his father, yet he too longed for male affirmation that is meant to come from a father. I’ve known women who realized that sexual abuse as children was part of their turning away from men to other women. Another woman knew very early in life that her gender was a disappointment to her parents. They had wanted a son, not a daughter. So she became what they wanted, masculine in manner, dress, etc. Another woman grew up in a home where her mother was overwhelmed with too many children. This child did not receive the nurturing from mother that she needed, and as an adult the hunger for that turned toward other women for fulfillment. These are only a few examples of many I could share. The stories are as varied as the people who tell them and there are so many factors that can contribute to someone having attraction to the same sex, dysphoria with their own sex, etc.

We are born with needs to belong, to connect, to be loved, cared for, nurtured, and affirmed. If those needs are not adequately met in childhood, they can later on become eroticized toward the sex that did not meet particular needs. From mothers - nurturing, closeness, touch, etc. From fathers - affirmation, encouragement, support, etc, If by affirming someone that they are “born this way”, are we in reality telling them that they have to be this way and that there is no help or hope for anything different? There is always hope in the Lord’s ability to take that which is broken and redeem it.

So, does God really know what He is talking about, or is He just behind the times? And if we can’t trust Him to know what He is talking about in this one area, how can we trust Him in any other?

I remember your testimony, which I think is beautiful! It made me rejoice when I read it. I thank the Lord for you and that he opened your eyes and softened your heart to believe in Him. Truly miraculous. :slight_smile:

You know, I don’t actually recall by what process I came to that conclusion, primarily just pondering the issue. As @rmcarr1 mentioned:

And people just presume that the Father Himself put this in some people and then expects them to struggle their entire life against it. No, He didn’t create them that way. There is no sin in Him at all of any kind whatsoever and He certainly wouldn’t create a being to be sinful. I suppose it was just a logical conclusion for me. :slight_smile: The only other possibility, I came to see, is that it’s a result of the sin nature, which a vast majority of people just never seem to consider when looking at human behavior. How it affects the DNA I have no idea. It would certainly seem to, though, as the sin nature was passed on through Adam even though he and Eve both had sinned. It came through him.

That’s a really good question and one I have to think about. Perhaps one of my favorites , okay two, are the existence of God. the objective truth that there is good and evil, and Jesus IS the Messiah and Savior of the world and the only way out of sin and to the Father. Well, that’s 3. lol

Baruch HaShem veh baruch Yeshua HaMaschiach ben El melech ha olam!

(I hope I got the Hebrew correct there. It’s been a while.)