The best resources on how God’s sovereignty works is not our imagination or our explanations, nor mere doctrinal surmising. You can’t extrapolate the wisdom of God as if He were a formula. The limitations which man’s logic places on sovereignty is not the entire story of God’s sovereignty. The best way to get a grip on this is by reading the stories of the bible and recognizing (seeing it here a little and there a little) how God accomplishes his purposes.
In my opinion, answers to questions like these are not found by asking men out of curiosity. These are matters of earnestness which you must share with God. Hopefully I can point you in that direction:
You know your situation best so it is truly your job to discern what’s actually happening. But God in his wisdom knew you’d have trouble discerning things so he gave you his word so you can test things against scripture. (He also gives the holy spirit to help (Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered Romans 8:26)
There is no solid way to consider these things without actually comparing it with scripture:
The word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Heb 4:12)
More on the topic of requiring wisdom and discernment should be your attention to James 1: if any man lack wisdom let him ask of God…
One thought might be to keep in mind what Jesus said about the interpolators of his day:
Beware of the scribes… which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts; Which devour widows’ houses, and for a shew make long prayers: the same shall receive greater damnation.(Luke 20:46-47)
It wouldn’t truly serve you for me (or anyone else) to be the one to answer your questions in a specific way (Even if I knew the specific answers to your questions). You must search the scriptures for yourself, ask for wisdom and follow accordingly. For if you straight out believed what I said then I would have become your catalyst for truth (which ultimately, no man can be).